


Brother Mine

by AlViWalker



Series: Alice's Journey [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sibling Incest, Smut, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-10-29 01:16:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 57,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17798333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlViWalker/pseuds/AlViWalker
Summary: Never in a million years did I think I would return to the city I had escaped more than two years ago. Unfortunately I was running out of options  and the only one who might be able to help me save myself, was a certain consutling detective. Who, of course, lived in London, the place I never intended to return to....After having read an obscene amount of fanfics for the last couple of months, I decided it was high time for me to contribute something myself. So here we go, my first fanfic ever, inspired by all the great works on this platform. English is not my first language, so please bear with me. Feedback would be greatly appreciated, as this is not only my first fanfic, but the first story I ever published in any form. Have a lovely day and I hope you enjoy the twisted things, my mind has come up with!





	1. Coming Home And First Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, except my OFC and all mistakes you might find. Feedback is appreciated!  
> Not beta-ed

Going back to London hadn't been my intention for obvious reasons. But no matter how hard I tried to find another solution, another way to get out of this nightmare that had become my life, there simply wasn't anything else I could do. So I packed my meagre belongings, bought a one-way-ticket to Heathrow and began my journey back to the city I once swore I would never return to. During the flight the dread filled pit in my stomach caused me to start shaking uncontrollably. It got so bad, that one of the stewardesses asked me concerned, if everything was alright. Faking a friendly smile I assured her, that I just had a fear of flying and I would be alright, once we landed. Of course that was a load of crap, usually I loved travelling by aircraft. But I couldn't very well tell her, what was really troubling me. It had gotten even worse, when we finally reached our destination. It took all my willpower not to crumble into a hysteric mess on the ground, when my feet touched the familiar soil of the city I left behind more than two years prior. Keeping my head high and my strides fast and purposeful, I thankfully made it to the ladies room in time to endure a full fledged panic attack in one of the small stalls. Putting my head between my knees I tried to control my breathing, that came out in low broken sobs. For what felt like hours, but had been merely minutes, I sat on the closed lid of the toilet and tried to regain control of my faculties by taking deep breaths trough my nose and letting them out in audible puffs trough my mouth. It took a while, but finally I was put together enough to leave the stall and stare at myself in the mirror above the sink. My usually dark brown hair was hidden under a blonde wig, securely tightened against my scalp with a ton of bobby pins. My eyes were red and puffy, brown coloured contact lenses hid the unusual light violet colour I usually saw when looking in the mirror. Disguising myself was imminent, for my return had to go unnoticed as long as possible. Gripping the edges of the sink harder, until my knuckles turned white, I took a deep trough the nose and blinked a few times. I had to remove the damn contacts sooner rather then later, going by the slight burning sensation. It had been almost 24 hours since I had first put them in, I've worn them for much longer than they should be worn. Straightening I splashed some cold water on my face, smoothed out the wrinkled green sun-dress I was wearing and made my way outside. Pushing trough the waves of people bustling around the airport I went to get my luggage from the baggage claim area and finally made my way to the exits. It was late afternoon and the sun peaked occasionally from behind the cloudy sky. Breathing in the typical smell of London, a small smile graced my face. After all, it was still good to be home, even under those dire circumstances.

I flagged down a cab, put my suitcase in the trunk and told the driver my destination. Settling back in my seat, I watched the scenery pass by on our way trough the city. During the nearly forty minute ride my brain was cataloguing the changes that had occurred during my absence, updating the information and filing it away for later use. Thankfully the cabbie didn't seem to be interested in making conversation, to which I was extremely grateful.

My hands were still shaking a bit and the fast beating of my heart made the blood pound in my ears. When we arrived, I payed the cabbie, got my suitcase out of the trunk and stepped onto the curb. Starring at the front of the old brick building for a few minutes I took a few deep breaths, got up the small step to the front door and used the brass knocker to rap resolutely.

Footsteps approached from within and the door opened to reveal a small older woman with short hair and kind brown eyes. “Oh, hellu there deary, are you here to see Sherlock? Lord knows he needs a new case. Has been sulking about for the last few days, driving me and poor John up the wall with his incessant sulking. Come on in, it's right up the stairs, do you want a cuppa? I was already making one, it'll be no bother at all. I'll bring it right up!”

While she was chattering away, she ushered me inside and gently pushed me towards a flight of stairs, leading up to a door that stood slightly ajar. Without even letting me get a word in edgewise, she turned around and shuffled back into her own flat. I could hear her cluttering about, presumably preparing the tea, she was talking about. Shaking my head in amusement I started my way up the stairs with my suitcase in tow and was about to knock on the door, when it flung open and a tall man with curly dark hair, clad only in a blue dressing gown and pyjamas peered down at me. His intense blue eyes scanned me from head to toe, before he huffed, turned around and threw himself onto an old leather couch, his back towards the room. Quirking an eyebrow I looked across the cluttered place and spotted a shorter, blond man standing up from one of the chairs in front of the fireplace. He opened his mouth, but before he could speak I interrupted him, “No introductions necessary, Dr. Watson. And please don't try to apologize for Mr. Holmes poor behaviour, I'm sure you're getting tired of that by now. It must be especially hard to deal with today, after all, you're girlfriend just broke up with you via text message. Presumably because she didn't like playing second fiddle in your life. And I can only imagine what awful things your flatmate might have said to her. How very unpleasant.” John Watson gaped at me, his mouth opening and closing, as if he was trying to say something. “Oh, I'm sorry! That was a bit rude, wasn't it? My apologies. I'm Alice by the way”, smiling bashfully I stepped towards him with my outstretched hand, which he gripped in a firm handshake, chuckling to himself.

“Nice to meet you Alice, and please call me John. And don't worry, I'm used to things like that by now. But tell me, how did you figure all that out?” His smile was warm and he looked at me with curiosity in his eyes.

“ It's a bit obvious, is it not? The way you stared at your phone. A mixture of disbelief and disappointment, a bit of rage when you look at him”, I waved my hand, indicating the presence on the couch behind us. “Logical conclusion really. And leaning on what I know about you and your detective friend, it wasn't hard to figure out, why she broke things off.”

 

John was silent after that, shooting a look at said detective friend, who had finally deigned me interesting enough to stop his sulking and was now looking at me intently.

“Interesting, very interesting indeed. It seems, I misjudged you, Miss...?”

“Just Alice for now, Mr. Holmes.”

Not the least bit intimidated by his continuous staring I held his gaze and smiled, while we appraised each other silently. I almost jumped, when John cleared his throat beside me, causing us both to look at him instead. Scratching the back of his head, indicating, that he was kind of uncomfortable, he said,” Well, now that that is out of the way, how can we help you, Alice? I mean, you're here because you have a case for us, are you not?”

“Obviously, John. Your skills of observation are, as always, astounding.” Sherlock mocked, while he stood to cross over to us, standing in front of me and looking down. He was a good head taller than me, so I had to crane my neck a bit to look up at him.

“So, Miss _Just-Alice_ , why are you here? No, don't answer that. You're obviously on the run, going by the fact, that you tried to hide your identity with that, frankly appalling wig... and are those coloured contacts? You have been abroad, Japan from what I can gather. So tell me, what caused you to run away thousands of miles? All signs indicated some sort of abusive boyfriend, but not only leaving the country but also the continent seems a bit excessive for that. So he must be someone with a wide reach and influence, perhaps even some kind of criminal. Somehow he found you and you decided, the only way to escape would be to come back and get a third party involved. Am I correct in my assumptions?”, he fired his deductions at me in rapid succession, clearly trying to get a rise out of me. Breaking eye contact I turned and walked to the sofa, he previously occupied. Sitting down, I crossed my legs and put my trembling hands in my lap, clasping them tightly.

“Oh, don't worry, Mr. Holmes. All will be revealed. After your delightful landlady is safe back downstairs.” As if on cue, we could hear cluttering, as Mrs. Hudson was coming up the stairs, carrying a tray, containing tea and a plate of biscuits. She entered the room and sat it down on the coffee-table in front of me, all the while chattering,

“I brought some tea for you and your client, Sherlock dear. And a couple of biscuits too, always nice with a fresh cuppa. You really ought to treat your clients better. I'm not your housekeeper you know?”

“Yes, I'm well aware, as you so tediously remind me of that fact at least twice a day, Mrs. Hudson”, Sherlock ground out exasperated. “Thank you for the tea”, he added after a not so gentle nudge from Johns elbow.

Tutting the elderly landlady smiled warmly at me and left the flat. I held up a hand, before either of the two men could say anything.

“Tea first, gentlemen. Haven't had a good cuppa in ages”, I added wistfully. Pouring myself a cup, no milk, one sugar, I settled back against the cushions. Sipping tentatively, I let out a contented sigh. Sherlock threw himself into his chair, glaring daggers at me. He obviously didn't like to be kept waiting, which seemed to amuse Dr. Watson to no end.

I took one last sip, before putting the cup down and looking at the men in front of me. “You are, of course, right with your deduction that I came here for your help-”

Sherlock scoffed at that, rolling his eyes, muttering 'obviously' under his breath. I shot him an impatient look. “Do you want me to continue, or would you prefer to act like a petulant three-year-old?” I asked him with one eyebrow raised, smiling sweetly. Straightening in his chair he motioned for me to continue, as he shot an angry glare at John who had burst out laughing.

“Sorry, mate. But it isn't often, that someone puts you in your place like that”, he explained, still giggling. Rolling his eyes and huffing, Sherlock switched his attention back to me. The banter had made me calm down considerably, but my anxiety started to spike again, knowing what I was about to reveal. A slight tremor ran trough me, not going unnoticed by both men. Sherlock just raised his brow, clearly intrigued by the sudden change in my demeanour, leaning forward in his chair and stapling his fingers under his chin.

“Are you alright?”, John asked with obvious concern in his voice. Clasping my trembling hands tighter in my lap, I gave him a reassuring smile, which must have looked a lot less reassuring than I intended it to be, going by the frown that appeared on Johns face.

“Don't worry, it's just.. I... It's hard to talk about...” I felt tears gathering in my eyes and tried to hold them back, blinking rapidly. The two men watched me silently, waiting for me to get my composure back. Taking a deep breath, I tried to continue. “As it so happens, we have a mutual acquaintance, a psychotic madman, hell-bent on destruction, wherever he goes. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about.” Sherlock and John exchanged a look, that told me, they knew exactly who I meant. “I have been on the run, for over two years, trying to escape said madman clutches. Quite successfully I might add. Unfortunately, however, he seems to have located me and as I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to accomplish the feat of hiding again, once he found me, I decided to come back to London. Of course I heard about you, Mr. Holmes. I know that you managed to outsmart him a few times and that things got a bit personal. With the knowledge I can provide, we might be able to take him down for good.” Sherlock looked at me, with a blank expression on his face, giving nothing away.

“Um.., so, was Sherlock right about the boyfriend thing then?” John asked, looking apprehensively at me. I could understand that he would get suspicious. After all he had been strapped with Semtex by the man, I had been hiding from for the last few years. One couldn't really hold it against him. Averting my gaze, I looked out the window into the rapidly darkening London sky. The trembling worsened and I wrapped my arms around my torso, trying to hold myself together. “It's a bit more complicated than that.”, my voice sounded bitter and a bit broken. To my utmost horror I started sobbing uncontrollably. The tremors became worse, until I was shaking so hard, my teeth were clacking against each other. John stood up and started towards me, kneeling in front of the sofa, unsure if he should touch me or not.

When he reached out a hand, I shot up from the sofa and retreated into the corner, with my back to the wall. My breath came in choked sobs and I wasn't getting enough oxygen into my lungs. Black spots started dancing along my field of vision and I slid down the wall and collapsed into a heap on the floor. Drawing my knees up to my chest, I covered my face with my hands, trying to get my breathing back under control. The only sound in the room were my ragged breathing and the silent bustling of fabric against fabric. It took more time than I would've liked, until I could breathe somewhat proper again. With closed eyes I let my head fall back against the wall, wiping furiously at my face, to erase the tears, that were still spilling out of my eyes. A few more minutes passed and finally I felt somewhat like myself again. Opening my eyes, I saw John and Sherlock staring at me. John with deep concern over my breakdown, while Sherlock had once again opted to keep his expression blank.

“I'm sorry you had to see that. Trauma can be a bitch sometimes” I chuckled with no real mirth behind it, all the while standing up and leaning heavily against the wall.

“You don't have to apologise for that, Alice. It's quit alright” John said with a small reassuring smile.

“Thank you, that is very kind of you to say. But I think it would be better, if I leave for now. I still have to find accommodations for the night and it is starting to get rather dark outside.” I pushed myself from the wall and started to make my way towards the door as Sherlock spoke up.

“I don't think, that that will be necessary. You're welcome to stay here for the time being. You can have my room as I don't sleep much anyway. And I think it would be rather unwise to go traipsing through London on your own, when the man who is looking for you has eyes and ears all over the city.” Surprised I turned around, I really didn't expect that.

“That is a good idea, Sherlock. Alice, you really shouldn't be out there on your own. If he found you, wherever you where before, he sure as bloody hell knows by now, that you're back in London. It would definitely be safer for you, if you stay here.” I felt my eyes beginning to mist up again. No one had been that nice to me in a long, long time.

“Thank you” I said with a thick voice, unable to say anything else.

“Now that that's settled, how about I show you to your temporary quarters? I'm, sure it has been a long day and you would like to rest for a bit” Sherlock took my suitcase and turned around briskly, expecting me to follow him. I looked at John who seemed to be as confused as me. I was pretty sure, that considerate wasn't a word one would describe Sherlock Holmes with. Shooting one last smile towards the good doctor, I shuffled after the lanky detective. We passed the small kitchen, littered with lab equipment and he led me straight to a door at the end of the hall. Holding it open and setting down my suitcase besides the bed, he waited for me to step through, before following me inside, closing the door and leaning against it, watching me.

“How urgently does he want to find you, on a scale from one to ten?” he asked me, keeping is gaze locked on my face. “Given that, after more than two years, he is still looking for me, I would say about 11?”, my joke fell more than flat, going by his unchanging expression. He stepped forward, invading my personal space.

“What exactly are you to him? If he just wanted to get rid of you, you surely would be dead by now, so that's not it. No, he obviously wants you alive. Why is that, you think?” He stared down at me, clearly hoping for some kind of reaction to his choice of words. It was my turn to take on a blank expression.

“Mr Holmes..”

“Sherlock..”, he interrupted me.

“Sherlock, I really don't want to discuss this right now. As you so accurately pointed out, I really am tired and would like to rest a bit, before talking about all the gory details of my past.”

He searched my face for anything that might give him an answer and then he nodded.

“Very well then, I'll leave you to it. We will talk more, once you're properly rested.”

And with that he left, closing the door behind him. I let out a breath, I didn't know I had been holding and slumped down on the bed. Tiredly rubbing my face, I sighed. That actually went better than expected. Stretching my aching limbs, I stood up again, opened my suitcase and looking for something more comfortable to wear. Pulling out black yoga pants and an old, white t-shirt, that had seen much better days, I lay my findings down on the bed. Striding over to the mirror in one corner of the room, I started to undo the bobby pins holding my wig in place. I sighed with relief, when I was finally finished and threw the dreadful thing on the bed. I proceeded to remove the contact lenses, changing out of my dress and into my comfort clothes, trying to brush my hair. But it was hopeless. After being pinned down for so long, it looked more like a birds nest than anything else. Huffing with annoyance, I chucked my brush back into my suitcase, stood up and opened the door to the en suite. Surely Sherlock wouldn't mind, if I took a quick shower. I turned on the water and returned to the bedroom, undressing quickly and grabbing my toiletries. Soon, I stood under the warm spray of water, sighing as my sore muscles began to relax. I took my time, washing myself thoroughly, shampooing and conditioning my hair and de-tangling it with my fingers. When the water started to cool, I hopped out, dried myself off and slung the coarse towel around my body. I ventured back into the bedroom, my hair falling in damp curls over my back, sending small drops of water down my back. Exiting the bathroom, I let out a startled yelp, as I came face to face with John, who was just putting down a glass of water and a plate of food on the night-stand.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack!”, I sputtered, clutching the towel closer to my body, glad it was big enough to reach mid-thigh. “Oh.. ahem.. I'm sorry... I just thought you might want something to eat and..” He stuttered, the tips of his ears turning pink. “That was very thoughtful of you, thanks John” I said softly, trying to alleviate his discomfort. At that moment Sherlock entered the room, taking in the situation with a few cursory glances, rolling his eyes at John. “Really, Watson? Considering the amounts of female companions you so readily switch every few weeks, one would assume, you wouldn't be blushing like a school-boy in this kind of situation. And as for you, Miss _Just-Alice_ , I would prefer you not walking around half naked in front of my blogger. He is way to easily distracted by attractive women and I would much rather he had all his faculties together, when confronted with Moriarty.” He sneered, giving me a once over, zeroing in on my exposed arms and collarbones, noticing the fine criss-crossing scars that covered them. John tried to retort, but fell silent when Sherlock started to stalk towards me, a look of concentration on his face. I backed away, my back hitting the wall behind me, when he stopped right in front of me, paying no mind to the concept of personal space. My breath caught in my throat, as he stared at me. lightly trailing a finger over the uneven scaring on my upper arm. “These are not self-inflicted are they”, it wasn't really a question, more an observation so I merely shook my head, looking down at my feet to avoid his knowing gaze. “Are there more?”, he inquired, tilting my chin up, so was forced to look up. My heart was pounding in my ears, but I felt weirdly detached from the outside world, when I stepped around him and let the towel fall to the floor. They had to see all of it, to truly understand. I heard John gasp in surprise, but I stared fixedly at the painting above the bed , not wanting to see the look of pity on their faces, as they took inventory of the abuse that was so clearly mapped out on my skin. Scars covered most of my body. Some so faint and thin, they were almost invisible, others more bulging, telling of the force with which they were inflicted upon me.

“Some of these are at least ten to fifteen years old, you couldn't have been more than a teenager when those happened. Alice, how long have you been with Moriarty before you escaped?” Sherlocks voice sounded different, raw somehow, with some kind of emotion I couldn't pinpoint. Grabbing my discarded clothes from the floor, I dressed myself silently and met his gaze. “Since the day I was born”, I whispered barely audible. Clothed once again, I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands. Sherlock and John exchanged a look, waiting for me to continue. Taking a deep breath, I started telling my story.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Beginnings and Endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter than the first, but it's the way I structured it in my mind, so bear with me

“When I was born, my parents were less than happy. My mother didn't even notice, that she was pregnant for the first six month. Not that it would have mattered anyway, being strict Catholics, abortion wouldn't have been an option for them. But they were the type of people, who shouldn’t have put children into the world in the first place. They were already overwhelmed with my two elder brothers, Peter and James. They didn't necessarily neglect us, we were always well fed and clothed, there just wasn't a lot of affection going around. We were mostly left to our own devices. Peter and I never really were that close, even though we were born just four years apart from each other. James on the other hand, took to me instantly. We had a special connection right from the start. He was always the one who would comfort me, when I had nightmares, tend to my wounds when I had hurt myself or cheer me up, when I was sad. 'As long as we have each other, Alli-bean, everything will be ok. I am taking care of you, and you are taking care of me in return. We don't need anyone else, just us against the world.', he used to say to me.” Lifting my head and smiling sadly at the men standing before me, I tried to compose myself as best I could. Those memories were always bitter-sweet, thinking of the way things had been at the beginning of my life and how it all changed. John sat down next to me, taking my hand in his and giving it a reassuring squeeze, silently letting me know to take my time. Shooting him a grateful look, I continued.

“It all started to go downhill when we got older. He started to become more possessive, demanding all of my time and attention, all day every day. He would intervene, when I tried to befriend other kids, always telling me they weren't good enough for me anyway. That he was the only one, who truly understood me. At the time I didn't realize, that he was keeping me isolated and under his control. He was my whole world after all, the only one who cared about me, who loved me for me. It got even worse in secondary school. They wanted to let me skip two classes, because I was ahead of the other children my age, but my parents wouldn't let them. So I was stuck with children my own age, that I didn't have anything in common with. They made fun of me because of my eyes and called me a freak for hardly doing any work and still excelling in every class. James didn't take to kindly to their treatment. He was suspended more than once, for starting fights with the kids that bullied me. But there was one boy, who really had it out for me. He just wouldn't let me be, always waiting until my brother wasn't around ant then, he and his friends started pushing me about and throwing insults at me.

At that point, I couldn't tell James about it, one more fight and he was going to get expelled from school. So I kept silent, hiding the bruises and acting like nothing was amiss.” I trailed off, the memories playing in my mind, like it had all happened yesterday. “But he found out anyway. Possibly confronting that boy, but not getting expelled, no, he didn't start a fight. Something else happened, something worse... Carl Powers!”, Sherlock exclaimed, taking a few steps towards me, understanding dawning in his eyes. John inhaled sharply, putting the pieces together in his mind. I nodded, confirming his conclusion, as Sherlock perched himself cross-legged on the food of the bed. Motioning for me to continue, I squared my shoulders and sat up straighter, preparing myself for the unwelcome memories I was about to relive. “James wanted to pick me up after class one day, as a surprise and witnessed Carl pushing me down so hard, that the back of my head connected with the floor. I expected my brother to be livid, to start a fight. Instead he was eerily calm, kneeling down next to me and looking up at Carl. 'You have no idea, what you just did, do you? No one hurts my sister and gets away with it. I will make you wish, you were never born, Carl Powers.' Carl just laughed in his face, not taking him seriously. He told him he would like to see him try and he and his buddies left. James was still calm, smiling after them in a way that send shivers down my spine. I had never seen him act that way and it unnerved me to no end.

On our way home, we didn't speak to each other and as soon as we reached our house, he went into his room and didn't come out until the next morning. The incident didn't come up again, not until, a few weeks later, the news of Carls drowning arrived. I just knew, that James had something to do with it. So I confronted him one day, but he just smiled that disturbing smile at me and told me not to worry my pretty little head about it. At the time, I couldn't discern how I felt about his actions. On the one hand, I was terrified of the length he would go to, the way he just brushed off, that he **killed** someone. On the other hand I felt strangely reassured and flattered by his actions. It meant he loved me so much, that he was willing to kill for me to protect me from harm. I knew he was different from others, but I always thought he was just like me. More intelligent than the average person, dismissed and ridiculed by his peers because of it. The darkness that boiled inside him was so well hidden, that I hadn't noticed it before.

In my mind he was the perfect big brother, somewhat overbearing at times, but always at my side, when I needed him. Our dynamic had shifted after Carls murder, we still spend almost every waking moment together, but I was more cautious around him. Knowing, that he didn't like me to spend time with anyone else, I retreated even more into myself. He had me just where he wanted me, isolated from the rest of the world, only him to keep me company. It never once crossed my mind, that he was manipulating me, making me depend on him to such an extent, that he held all the power. Even though he would get angry at times, he never laid a hand on me, never hurt me in any way. Not until shortly before my graduation.” At this I had to pause, rubbing my hand over my stomach, starring unseeing at the wall. Sherlock was silent, obviously processing the information I had given him, while John was rubbing circles in my hand absent-mindedly. I shook out of my stupor, not giving them time for any questions and carried on,

“The students had planned a dance and I had already resigned myself to not going, when one of my classmates, Ben Murray, asked me out. He was a nice, shy boy, with short ginger hair and freckles all over his face. He was cute and I was so flattered, that a boy was paying attention to me, that I agreed. I knew that James would be out of town with my parents that day, to visit relatives. They weren't coming back until the day after that, so I thought it was safe for me to go. I had never been to any of the school dances throughout the years and I had to damp down my excitement, so James wouldn't get suspicious. I secretly bought a new dress, from the money I had been saving, even buying a pair of low-heeled pumps. I had to hide my purchases of course, lest my brother would see them and figure everything out. On the day of the dance, I saw my parents and James off and went to get myself ready for what I hoped to be a wonderful evening. And it was. Ben and I danced until we were out of breath, getting along great throughout the whole event. I even allowed him to take me home, thinking that James wouldn't be there anyway. He kissed me on the cheek when we said goodbye at the doorstep and I was almost floating, when I went up to my room. The evening had been everything I had hoped for and more. I was bursting with happiness and oh so proud of myself for successfully going behind my brothers back...” I fell silent again, getting lost in my memories. The joy I had felt that day was replaced by a body-numbing terror , when I had opened the door to my room. James was standing in front of my window, his back to me, looking down into our front yard. Had I known, how everything was about to change, I would have run away as fast as my legs would let me.

 


	3. Pain and Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the warnings, this one gets dark

He turned around, when I didn't enter the room and the look on his face chilled me to the bone and made me panic even more. He wasn't just angry, he was furious, practically vibrating with suppressed rage. I stood rooted to the spot, afraid to move, like he was some wild animal, who would pounce on me, once I stirred even the slightest bit. With his teeth grating together audibly and his hands tightened into fist he scrutinized me from head to toe, noticing the new dress and shoes. I felt myself go even colder, when his eyes travelled back to my face and he took a few steps in my directions, clenching and unclenching hist fists.

“Did you have fun tonight, Ally-bean?”, the contempt in his voice was obvious, as he stalked towards me.

“Did you enjoy it, when you let that insipid little twat kiss you, right in front of my eyes? ANSWER ME!”

He stood right before me, screaming the last part in my face. Tears were pooling in my eyes and I lifted my hands to his chest, in a move to placate him.

“Jamie, please... I'm sorry, I didn't think you would be back already....Ahhh!”

That had definitely been the wrong thing to say. Lightning fast he grabbed a fistful of my hair, tugging my head back harshly. Pressing his mouth to my ear he growled: “Listen here, you little whore, I'm only going to say this once, so you better pay attention. You. Are. Mine! Do you understand me? I won't tolerate anyone else touching you, kissing you or even looking at you in a way I don't like, you hear me? You belong to me and it is high time, that you truly understand that!”

His warm breath blew across my neck, making me shiver. Suddenly his tongue snuck out to caress my earlobe, earning another involuntary shudder from me. My heart was beating franticly as I tried to think of a way out. I pushed against his chest to get away from him, but his grip on my hair just tightened and I let out a cry of pain. He crowded me against the wall, cocooning me with his body, leaving me with no doubt about his intentions, as the bulge in his trousers rubbed against my lower belly.

“I.. I'm sorry, Jamie... I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you.. Please, please don't hurt me...”, I was sobbing now, tears escaping my eyes in fat, ugly drops. Chuckling darkly he pressed against me harder, licking some of the tears off of my cheeks, clearly relishing in my anguish.

“Oh, Ally-bean, we're gonna have so much fun, you and I. I've waited far to long to claim you.” With that he captured my lips in a bruising kiss, holding my head in both of his hands, making it impossible to turn away from his attack. Feebly I tried to push against his chest, trying to get him off of me, but it was no use. He was quite strong for someone of his size. He peppered kisses along my jaw, nipping harshly at my neck, his hands tightening in my hair to keep me in place. I cried out, when he bit down hard on the juncture between my neck and shoulders, drawing blood. I could feel him smiling against my skin, liking at the blood, that was now trickling down on my new dress. Lifting his head, he looked at me with smug satisfaction and blood-stained lips. Finally letting go of me, he took a step back, admiring his handiwork.

My hands went up to cover the wound, but he caught my wrist, pulling me towards my bed and pushing me on the soft mattress. When I tried to scramble away, he just gripped my ankle, hauling me back towards him. I started pleading with him, begging him not to do this, not to cross that line, but he didn't seem to hear me. Instead he climbed atop of me, straddling my hips, ripping open my dress down to my knickers and running his hands all over my pale flesh. I tried to push his hands away and cover myself, horrified about the reaction my body had to his touch. He captured my hands and started to tie them to the headboard, with a silk scarf, that hung decoratively over one of the bedposts. I started to struggle against my bindings, trying to loosen them, while he watched me, clearly enjoying the way I was at his mercy now.

With a determined gleam in his eye, he reached inside his pant-pockets and pulled out a switch-blade, popping it open and looking down on me. Immediately I seized my struggle, panting and sobbing, afraid of what he might do to me. He leaned close to my face, smiling manically at me,

“I think you need a permanent reminder of who you belong to, wouldn't you agree? Now hold still, you don't want me to slip and hit something vital, do you?” Leaning back and shuffling down a bit, he started carving into the soft skin of my stomach just above my hipbone. The pain was excruciating and I screamed so loud, I was sure the neighbours could hear me. A hard slap to the face shut me up.

“Shut up, you stupid bitch! Wouldn't want the neighbours to call the police now, would we?”, with that he yanked a handkerchief from his other pocket and stuffed it into my mouth, muffling the sound of pain I made.

“There, much better. Now let me finish so the real fun can begin!” He carried on with his task, slicing and carving at my skin for what felt like hours. Tears were streaming down my face and I could feel the blood soaking my clothes and the bed beneath me. Eventually he was finished, grinning at me like a little boy on Christmas.

“Now you will never forget, my sweet little Ally-Bean. Look, isn't it beautiful?” He cooed, pulling my head up by my hair, making me look. I felt dizzy from the pain, black spots dancing in my vision. At first I couldn't make out, what he had done to me. All I saw was different shades of red. When it finally dawned on me, I started struggling and trashing about to get away. It was useless of course, with my hands bound above me and James still sitting on my legs, I was practically immobile. I threw my head back, howling and screaming through the fabric in my mouth, closing my eyes tightly, willing it all to go away. The image of his initials carved into my belly in big bold letters, was ingrained into my retinas, no matter how hard I tried to get rid of it. Exhausted I slumped back, the fight leaving me completely, it was no use anyway. I was at his mercy and he could do to me, whatever he wanted. Opening my eyes, I stared up at him. Noting the defeat in my eyes, he removed the handkerchief from my mouth, kissing me softly on the lips.

“I'm sorry, Ally. But you really gave me no other choice. I don't want to hurt you, but what else can I do, when you act like this? It's the only way to make you understand. I'm the only one that loves you, the only one that truly cares for you. We only have each other, us against the world, remember? I would do anything for you Ally-Bean, but you have to do what I say and be a good girl, in order for me to protect you from the world. We belong together, little sister and no one is coming between us, you hear me? We were made for each other, two lights shining brighter than everyone else around us.” Stroking my face almost tenderly he smiled down on me with so much love in his eyes, that I became confused. He was still my brother, my Jamie, the one that comforted me, when I was sad or hurt, the one that was always there for me, no matter what. Surely this wouldn't have happened, if I had just stayed at home, if I had just kept to myself like usual. It was my fault after all. He was just looking out for me, wasn't he?

Sensing my acceptance of his words, he kissed me again, this time more urgently. Running his tongue against the seam of my lips, coaxing me to let him in. Dazed from the pain and the confusion I opened my mouth and he let his tongue slip past, sliding against mine, deepening the kiss hungrily. His hands wandered down to my breasts, kneading them trough the fabric, making my stomach tingle at the sensation of his palms rubbing against my hardening nipples. His mouth moved down to my neck, licking and sucking at the pulse point. An involuntary moan escaped my parted lips, making him smile against my skin. His lips trailed down my neck and clavicle and he pressed open mouthed kisses against the cups of my bra, starting to suck my nipples trough the thin fabric. It felt good and wrong at the same time, sending jolts of pleasure through my body, making me rub my legs together to ease the tension. I felt the dampness, that started to gather in my knickers and squirmed some more. No-one had ever touched me like that before and I was all the more conflicted, because it was my brother who was making me feel like this. Surely my body shouldn't react that way! Not after what he did to me before, the way he hurt me and the pain he caused.

But the pain of his cuts was only a faint buzzing in the back of my mind, when he pulled down the cups of my bra and his warm tongue began circling around one of my hardened peaks, before he drew it into his mouth and started sucking on it in earnest. It felt like fireworks exploding in my belly and I let out a strangled moan, that seemed to encourage him even more. Turning his attention to my other breast, he repeated the process, until I was a panting mess beneath him, my mind clouded by the strange new sensations, desperate for release of some kind. One of his hands snaked down my belly, drawing lazy circles above the line of my underpants, slipping under the elastic band and stroking the soft, damp curls that lay underneath. I bucked my hips, searching for friction, wanting, no, _needing_ him to touch me, where only my own hands had ever been before. With an almost obscene pop, he released the hard bud of my left peak, peering up at me with so much desire and dark promises in his eyes, that I let out a soft whimper.

“My, my, look at you. All eager to please your big brother. What a good little girl you are” he praised me, whilst sliding down my body to nestle between my legs.

“Please, Jamie! Please... I need... “, unsure of what I was asking I trailed off, pleading with my eyes, begging him to do something against the ache between my legs. Smiling predatorily, he bunched my ruined dress above my waist, lowering his head to the apex of my thighs, inhaling deeply. Then his tongue trailed along my soaked panties, making me buck of the bed in a jerky movement. Laughing quietly he pushed himself off the bed and started to undress until he was left only in his briefs. My eyes travelled down the pale expanse of his chest, taking in the light dusking of dark hair, that covered his front, culminating in a thin trail of hair that led into his underpants. His erection was clearly visible trough the thin fabric and I swallowed audibly at the sight. Of course I knew about the mechanics of sex and the male anatomy, but reading about it clinically and seeing it for the first time, were entirely different things I realized. I was sure, that that long and thick _Thing_ in his pants wasn't ever going to fit inside me.

Noticing my trepidation he climbed back between my legs, slowly pushing my knickers down and off to the side, watching me intently.

“Don't worry, Ally-Bean, I'm gonna make it good for you, you will see.” Placing feather-light kisses to the inside of my thighs he made his way to my core, giving a tentative lick to the slick lips of my sex. The sensation was to much and I bucked off the bed again. Sliding one hand across my lower abdomen to hold me down, his other hand parted my folds, exposing my throbbing clit to the cool air of the room.

“Look at you, all wet and needy for your big brother. You're such a good girl for me, aren't you? Do you want me to taste your sweet little cunt, Ally?”, his finger slid over my thrumming little nub, putting the barest amount of pressure against it.

My body was on fire, it didn't matter any-more, that I wasn't supposed to feel this way, that it was wrong, so wrong to react like that to my own brother. All I wanted was to ease the building pressure coiling tightly in my belly.

“Yes, Jamie, please, please... oh god...”, I almost sobbed with relief when his mouth descend upon my core, sucking and licking at my clit, driving me crazy with need. My orgasm began to build, like a rubber-band stretching and stretching, about to snap. He plunged his tongue into my opening, lapping at my juices, humming appreciatively against my mons, eliciting moans and gasps from me. His tongue trailed back to my sweet spot, sucking harshly, simultaneously plunging one of his fingers into my wet opening. I started to rub myself shamelessly against his face, chasing the friction and moaning wantonly. When a second digit joined the first and he curved his fingers to rub insistently against the soft, spongy spot inside of me, the rubber-band snapped, sending me over the edge. Screaming my brothers name over and over, while stars exploded behind my closed lids, I trashed and bucked, riding the waves of pleasure that tore trough me.

He withdrew his fingers and before I could come down from my high, I felt the head of his cock rubbing against my entrance, then slowly sliding inside of me. I barely noticed the slightly burning sensation, as he pushed himself inside my drenching hole, inch by inch, stretching me until he reached the barrier of my maidenhead. He pushed against it, tearing it apart with a powerful trust, making me scream out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. He stroked my sweaty hair away from my face, as he stilled, giving me time to adjust.

“Shh, I got you baby, the pain will fade away soon. You're such a good girl, taking my cock all the way inside your sweet, little cunt like that. God, you're so fucking tight, you feel like heaven.” Panting heavily he started to move, slowly at first, picking up the pace after a few shallow thrusts. Soon he was pistoning in and out of me, making me mewl and sob with the overwhelming feeling of his thick cock, rubbing against all the right places. I was at the brink of another orgasm, balancing on the edge, when his hand snaked down again, rubbing furiously against my clit.

“Who do you belong to, Ally? Who owns that delicious pussy of yours, hmm? I want to hear you say it!”, Jamie grunted, hammering into me with abandon. “You.. I belong to you, Jamie....” I managed to moan out, eyes rolling back in my head, close, so close to salvation. “That's right, you're mine. Mine alone, your hear me?” The movement of is hips became jerky and uncontrolled, ramming into me even harder and faster, whilst still rubbing at my clit.

“Yes, oh god, yes... I'm yours, only yours!” I screamed as I fell over the edge again, my inside muscles clenching tightly around him, trying to pull him in even deeper. Suddenly he pulled out, giving his cock a few harsh strokes, before spilling his seed all over my stomach and breasts, crying out my name. Exhausted he slumped down next to me, one arm over his face, breathing heavily. The afterglow of my second orgasm slowly started to fade and I noticed the aching in my arms and shoulders from being restrained for so long. His cum trickled down my sides, some of it reaching the cuts he inflicted upon me earlier this evening. Hearing the hiss of pain that I let out, he sat upright, first untying my wrists and then gently rubbing them to get the blood flowing again. I leaned my back against the headboard, as he used the scarf to clean the mess he'd made, tentatively stroking his fingers against his initials that would forever remind me of this day. Ignoring another hiss of pain, he leaned down to press gentle kisses along the open flesh of the wound, licking away at the blood, that had begun to dry and flake.

“Mine, all mine”, he murmured against my skin, my hands caressing his hair, my finger tangling into his dark, sweaty locks. With one last kiss to my belly button, he stood up and made his way across my room, to the adjoining bathroom. I could hear water running and he returned with a wet towel in his hands and the first aid kit from under the sink. Sitting down next to me, he gently cleaned up between my legs, then rubbing the warm cloth against my belly, to remove the last of his semen and my blood. He took care of the cuts, cleaning and bandaging them, all the while smiling to himself. After returning the now dirty towel and the kit to the bathroom, he slipped back into bed, turning me on my side and spooning up against me, covering us both with the duvet. His arm wound around my middle, pressing me closer against his chest. Nuzzling against my neck, he whispered in my ear, “Good night, Ally-Bean. I love you, you know that, right?”

“I know, Jamie. I love you too”, I yawned closing my eyes and burrowing myself deeper into my pillow. As my worn out body succumbed to the warmth of him against my back, my eyes drifted shut. I felt him smile against my neck and press a soft kiss to my shoulder, as I finally fell asleep.

 


	4. Confrontations and Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with chapter 4, hope you enjoy!

Coming out of my memories, I noticed I was alone with Sherlock. John must've left the room at some point. When had that happened? The consulting detective was staring at me with a strange expression on his face. “So that's what it must be like for John, when I enter my mind palace”, he mused, furrowing his brows.

“I'm sorry, what?” I looked at him, still a bit unfocused after I had been in my own mind for so long.

“It's a memory technique-”,

“I know what a mind palace is, Sherlock”, I interrupted him, rolling my eyes. “How long was I out?”

He gave me a tight-lipped smile. “You just sat there for the last 20 minutes, starring blankly at the wall, not reacting when I called out your name a few times. I imagine it must be the same thing John usually goes through, when I enter my mind palace during a case. I just never experienced the effect from the other side, so to speak”, he finished, still looking at me strangely. I was about to say something, when John returned with an apologetic smile on his face.

“Sorry I left you with him, but from experience I figured you might take a while to come back to us.”

“It's quite alright, I should be the one that's sorry. After all I just went into mannequin-mode without even noticing it. Usually that doesn't happen.” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

“Yes, yes, everyone is very sorry, we get it. Now would you mind telling us what happened next?” Sherlock rolled his eyes at us and looked at me expectantly. John opened his mouth, presumably to scold Sherlock for his harsh tone, but I just shook my head at him, indicating that I didn't mind. Closing his mouth, he shot me another apologetic look. Poor Doctor Watson, always trying to smooth things over, when Sherlock stepped out of line.

“Well, lets just say, he wasn't very happy with me. Things escalated and he staked his claim, if you now what I mean.” I left it at that, figuring they would get the meaning behind my words. Of course Sherlock wasn't one to leave things be. “He raped you”, he stated bluntly, making John cringe. “Sherlock, for gods sake, was that really necessary? Would it kill you to shut up, just for once in your life?” Averting my gaze I looked down on the floor, when I felt myself blushing. Even if it was rape, I couldn't help remembering how good he had made me feel. ' _What the fuck is wrong with you?_ ', I thought to myself, blushing even harder.

“You didn't feel, like it was rape, did you? He made sure you enjoyed it, strengthening his hold over you even more. It was all about power and sex is a powerful tool to wield against an inexperienced young girl, who felt like she was all alone in the world. I'm not blaming you for feeling that way, Alice. It's just a coping mechanism for the trauma you endured”, he said softly. Shocked I looked up at him, not expecting him to be understand my turmoil.

He smiled as he stood up, straightening his clothes. “Well, I think that's enough for one day. Come along now, Watson. It is getting rather late and as I said earlier, I'm sure our guest needs some rest.” Addressing me he added, “We will see you in the morning, Alice. Try to get some sleep, you're going to need it.” With that he pushed John out of the door, closing it behind them with a click. Falling back on the bed, I starred at the ceiling, pondering this strange man and his unpredictable behaviour. He wasn't at all what I had pictured in my mind. Sure, he was abrasive and clearly had no sense of personal boundaries, but there was also empathy and understanding, which I didn't expect. Curling into the foetal position I felt my eyes drifting shut and my limbs becoming heavy with exhaustion. Heeding Sherlocks advice I let myself sink into unconsciousness, giving my body the rest it desperately craved.

 

 

* * *

 

 

I woke with a start, my mind taking it's time to realize where I was. It had to be early in the morning, going by the faint yellow glow that illuminated the room. Shaking off the remnants of my dream, I curled up deeper under the covers, not wanting to take on the new day ahead of me. Fragments of the nightmare that awoke me swirled around in my head. I couldn't recall the details, but it had been about my brother, of that I was sure. My nightmares had always to do with him, no surprises there, I guess. Sighing I rubbed a hand across my face, contemplating if my awakening bladder could wait just a tad longer. I really didn't want to get up. There would be more questions about my time with James, no doubt about that. And I did promise that I had information that would help Sherlock in bringing my brothers empire down. Better to get it over and done with, I thought to myself, no point in prolonging the inevitable. Struggling out from under the blankets, my bare feet connected with the cold hardwood floors, making me shiver. I padded into the en-suite, performing my morning routine of using the toilet and brushing my teeth. My hair had still been damp, when I went to sleep yesterday and now it looked almost as bad as it did the day before. Combing through it with my fingers I resigned myself to just put it in a messy bun atop of my head. Going by the large bags under my eyes, my hair wasn't even the worst about my aesthetics at the moment. I looked haggard, my eyes looking bigger than normal in my pale face. Shrugging at my reflection I went back to the bedroom, put on some warm socks and opened the door into the hallway. I wasn't sure, if my hosts were usually up this early in the morning, so I tried to be quiet when I left my temporary room and entered the kitchen.

“You don't have to sneak around like that. By my estimation John is in the fourth stage of his sleep cycle, so it is rather unlikely that he is going to wake up any-time soon.”

Suppressing the cry of surprise that was lodged in my throat, I blinked at Sherlock, who was standing with his back to me by the window in the living room, violin in one hand, bowstring in the other. “Good morning to you too, Mr. Holmes” I grumbled under my breath as I recovered from being scared half to death by his sudden announcement. “Not a morning person then, I gather”, he turned around and smirked at me, clearly enjoying my bad mood. “Yeah, well, I usually need a cup of coffee and a smoke before I'm able to deal with other people. You got any?” I asked grumpily, going into the kitchen and opening the cupboards randomly.

“Afraid I can only offer you some tea. And as I am currently trying to quit smoking, I haven't any cigarettes either.” He put down his violin and bowstring, striding towards me. Gently nudging me aside, he opened the cupboard to my right, retrieving a box of Earl Grey, setting it in front of me. Grabbing the kettle and filling it with water, I set it on the stove to boil.

“Thanks, I guess it will have to do for now. And I should still have a pack of smokes in my suitcase, so at least there's that.” Leaning against the kitchen counter, I watched him perk up at the mention of the pack of cigarettes. Shaking my head, I gave him a stern look. “Don't even think about it, Holmes. I'm not going to give you any. You said it yourself, you're trying to quit and I wouldn't want to tempt you into giving up your resolve.” He shot me a dirty look, rolling his eyes in annoyance. “I'm a grown man, Alice, I can handle myself around temptation, thank you very much”, he huffed.

Crossing my arms in front of my chest, it was my turn to roll my eyes at him. “Sure you can. At least it's only nicotine you're after at the moment”, I mumbled under my breath, turning around to lift the now whistling kettle from the stove. Sherlock stiffened beside me, narrowing his eyes as he watched me prepare the tea. “Care to enlighten me, what that comment was about?” I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes. Obviously I had struck a nerve. “I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. As you pointed out, I'm not a morning person and it is really non of my business what you do or don't do with your body. And before you ask, I didn't know. But from one recovering drug addict to another, I know the signs. Most people probably wouldn't recognize it that fast, but as I'm sure you're aware, I'm not most people.” I finished my little speech, giving him a small smile. He contemplated my words for a moment, nodding his head, not returning my smile. “No, you are most definitely not like most people”, he admitted. My stomach growled loudly, reminding me that I hadn't eaten in more than 48 hours.

“Anything edible in here, detective?”, I asked over my shoulder as I opened the fridge. Scrunching my nose in confusion I turned back around. “Are those human toes? You know what, don't answer that. I presume they're for an experiment, at least that's what I hope.” Shaking my head I took out the ingredients for a sandwich and placed them on the counter next to my mug. I noticed Sherlock looking at me, a frown marring his face. “What is it now?”, I asked, continuing to prepare my breakfast.

 

“Normally people freak out more, when they find human body parts in the fridge”, he answered, still looking at me.

“Sherlock, we already established that I'm not like most people, remember? It would take a lot more than a few innocent toes to freak me out. I have seen much worse, believe it or not.” Taking a bite from the now finished sandwich, I leaned back against the counter, letting my eyes wander through the flat. It was messy but strangely homey, with its small windows barely letting in any light, the cluttered shelves and tables and particles of dust swirling in the soft sunlight, that streamed through the windows. A pang of sadness hit me, it reminded me of my little apartment back in Japan, where I had been living for the past 3 months. It had been the longest I stayed in one spot for a long time and it came as close to home as I could get, given the circumstances. Leaving everything behind had been harder this time. I had started to get used to the illusion of security it gave me, before it came all crashing down, like it usually did. I was so tired of running away, always looking over my shoulder, seeing monsters in every shadow. Sighing heavily I finished my meal and turned back to Sherlock, who was still watching me.

“Would you please stop watching me like that?”, I huffed out. He blushed slightly and turned his head away, “Like what?”

“Like some specimen you have never seen before. It's unnerving.”

“Well, excuse me for , trying to evaluate how trustworthy you are. After all, this could be a trap orchestrated by your dear brother. I wouldn't put it past him just to mess with me, would you Miss Moriarty?”, he turned around and levelled a glare at me. I could just look at him gob-smacked for a moment, before anger rose inside of me. Was he for real? Yesterday he had seemed so understanding, had that all been an act? I slammed my hand on the counter, turning my body so I was face to face with him.

“How dare you insinuate something like that! I bared my soul to you and John yesterday, I even showed you my scars and now you think this is all some sort of diabolical plan to do what exactly? Care to share with the class, what the great Sherlock-Bloody-Holmes thinks this is all about? To what end would this even make sense? Tell me!” With every word I had gotten louder, nearly screaming at the end, poking my finger in his chest to emphasize my point. He grabbed my hand to stop me from assaulting his thorax, pulling me closer to him.

“You waltz in here, being all mysterious and different and interesting, looking like that”, he gestured at me, his voice rising just like mine had, “telling me you could virtually deliver me the head of my enemy on a silver platter and then you want me to believe, that that isn't just a little bit to perfect? I don't believe in coincidences, the universe is rarely so lazy!”

“What do you mean looking like that?” I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Where had that come from all of a sudden?

“Oh, don't play coy with me, Miss Moriarty. You know exactly what I mean. Look at you, all big, sad eyes and pouting lips. Are those meant to entice me? If that's the case I have bad news for you: I have no interest in such matters, so you can drop the charade!” He grabbed my wrist tighter, almost shouting now, his eyes ablaze in anger. I wrangled my hand free and was about to slap that insolent prick, for saying such horrible things to me, when I heard a creak coming from the hallway.

“What in the bloody hell is going on here? It's 4 in the god-damn morning and I woke up from you screaming at each other. What's this all about?” John stood in the doorway of the kitchen, squinting sleepily at us, looking pretty pissed-off.

“Why don't you ask your oh so clever flatmate? I'm apparently just temptation on stick, trying to lure him into some elaborate trap to god knows what end!” I shouted, storming out of the kitchen, brushing past a confused John. I went into Sherlocks bedroom and slammed the door behind me. It was kind of childish, but that damn git had me seething with anger! Throwing myself on the bed, I pressed my face into a pillow and screamed until my voice gave out.

That infuriating man! Why did I think he would be willing to help me? It was a mistake coming here and now it was too late to turn back. James surely knew by now, that I had returned. There was no way I could leave again undetected. I had to stay put for the time being, hoping for the best. _'Great, just great...',_ I thought in my head as tears started to gather in my eyes. A sob escaped me, than another and soon I was crying in earnest, sobs racking my body, making me curl into a ball on the bed. Over the pitiful sounds I made, I could hear raised voices in the kitchen, followed by the slamming of the front door. It was quiet for a while and then there was a soft knock on the door.

“Alice, may I come in for a moment, please?” John called from outside the bedroom. Instead of answering him I buried my head deeper into the pillow, trying to silence my anguish. He must've heard me regardless, because I could hear him opening the door and walking towards the bed. My back was turned in his direction and I tensed, as I felt his hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Hey, come now, don't cry. Sherlock can be a right twat sometimes, but he is a decent bloke, believe me. We're going to help you sort out this mess with your brother, don't you worry. Sherlock's gonna come 'round, don't be to hard on him. Guess this situation reminds him just a bit to much of this whole Adler business a couple months back.” I flopped on my back and looked at him disbelievingly. “Yeah, well, I'm not Irene. I don't use my body to get people to do my bidding!” I huffed out, annoyed.

“You know Irene?” John seemed surprised and a flutter of uncertainty crossed his eyes.

“Of course I know Irene. She has been working for my brother for quite a while, showed him a few tricks to 'keep me in line'. As you can imagine, I don't like to be compared to that woman.” I sat up, leaning against the headboard. “John, I get why Sherlock is suspicious, but that doesn't mean, I'm just gonna let him insult me like that. If we're to work together, there has to be a modicum of trust between us. I can't risk exposure, just because your flatmate can't handle his attraction to me. I'm not letting myself get captured because of that. I can't go back, I just can't!” I broke out in tears again, the fear of being brought back to my old life weighing heavy on me. My breathing became shallow and my head felt dizzy, indicating yet another panic attack. I hated myself for being this weak. Just thinking about what would happen to me, if my brother could get a hold of me, was enough to loose my mind.

John pulled me into a hug, rubbing circles into my back, telling me to breathe and that everything would be alright. Clinging to his shirt, I burrowed my head into his chest not caring about my usual aversion to physical contact. I felt drained and tired, tired of running, tired of crying and especially tired of being afraid all the time. Something had to give, and soon, or what little control I had left would slip away and leave my mind in shambles. After a while my breathing slowed down and I had stopped crying, but I didn't let go of John just yet. “I'm sorry I cried all over your shirt. You have been nothing but kind to me and I'm repaying it by waking you with my screaming in the wee of the morning and then sobbing all over you. I truly am sorry, John.” I lifted my head from his chest, giving him a timid smile. He put his hands on either side of my face and looked into my eyes, with a solemn expression on his face.

“I promise you, we will do everything in our power to prevent your brother from ever laying a finger on you again. We're going to protect you and when all this is over, you're going to be able to live your life the way you see fit. But you have to give Sherlock some time, that's all I ask of you. Can you do that for me?” He asked me softly, wiping away my tears with his thumbs.

“I can do that”, my voice was barely above a whisper, but I meant what I said. John pressed a kiss to the top of my head and stood up. “Well, now that that's settled, how about a nice cuppa? I sure could use one!” His eyes crinkled, as he grinned down at me. “Yes, that would be lovely, thank you John. Why don't you go ahead, I'm just gonna get dressed and then join you in the kitchen.” I beamed up at him, rubbing the last of the tears from my face. Johns words had helped greatly, they were just the thing I needed to hear, to get my head straight again. He nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.

 


	5. Reunions and Disclosures

I sat for a moment longer, contemplating his words and feeling a surge of fondness for the kind doctor. Although we had met just yesterday, I already considered him a friend. What a foreign concept for me, I hadn't made any friends since... Better not to think about it, I admonished myself. Steeling my resolve, I went about getting dressed in a pair of low waisted jeans and a long, comfy sweater. After washing my face, to erase the last remnants of my recent breakdown, I made my way into the kitchen once again. I stopped short, when I saw Sherlock sitting in his chair, fingers steepled under his chin, eyes closed. I hadn't heard him return and not opting for another confrontation, I joined John in the kitchen, accepting the mug of tea he gave me with a grateful smile. We sat down at the cluttered kitchen table, chatting amicably about nothing in particular, when we heard the doorbell ring, followed shortly by Mrs. Hudsons chattering. Sherlock sat up in his chair, an irritated look crossing his face. Someone was coming up the stairs with light footfalls, followed by a tapping sound. My eyes widened and I abruptly stood up, taking a few steps back towards the bedroom. The door to the flat opened and a tall man, dressed in an immaculate light-grey suit entered, umbrella in his right hand. He looked around the flat, his icy blue eyes landing on me.

“To what do we owe the pleasure of your impromptu visit, brother dear? Surely you could have notified me beforehand, so that we might have been able to avoid your company?” Sherlock sneered, not noticing the look of recognition on his brothers face.

“So my sources were correct about your return. I didn't expect to find you in my brothers flat of all places. What are you doing here, Alice?” Mycroft addressed me directly, completely ignoring his brother and staring at me in irritation. I started to speak, to explain myself but got interrupted by Sherlock.

“You know her? Of course you do. And you are on a first name basis, no less. Let me guess, you're the one that helped her escape in the first place, aren't you brother dearest?” The sneer on his face grew even more prominent, irritating me to no end. Mycroft didn't seem to be perturbed by that, he didn't even look at his brother, instead his eyes remained on me.

“As usual, you are quite slow, brother mine. Do try to keep up. Yes, I was the one that helped Miss Moriarty escape. In exchange for information of course. Unfortunately we lost track of her a few months after she left the country. My men hadn't been able to locate her, until she re-entered English soil yesterday. Quite a feat to stay hidden from me for so long. I have to admit, I'm somewhat impressed by your skills, Alice. But why in the world did you think it would be a good idea to involve my little brother? Why not come to me instead?” Mycroft stepped closer to me, his eyes never leaving mine as he took one of my hands in his. His gaze softened as he stood before me, his thumb drawing slow circles on the back of my hand. I couldn't help myself and instead of answering his questions, I crushed my body against his, circling my arms around his waist and pressing myself as close as possible. After a moments hesitation, he wound one arm around my shoulder, reciprocating the hug, placing his chin atop of my head.

Sniffling against his chest, I listened to his heartbeat and inhaled his familiar scent. It was a relief to see him, I had missed him so much and at the moment I didn't care what Sherlock or John might be thinking about the fact that I was hugging him. “Don't cry, Alice my dear. You know what that does to me. And believe me when I tell you, that I have missed you too, my darling girl. Terribly so.” Stroking some wayward strands of hair away from my face, he gave me a soft kiss on the forehead, before extracting himself from my hold. Sherlock and John just stared at us with matching expressions of disbelief. Seeing the Ice Man showing that amount of sentiment towards another human being must've been quite the shock, I imagined.

Running my hands over the lapels of his blazer, straightening them out, I smiled softly at him. “He found me, Myc. That's why I had to come back. And I couldn't risk contacting you, if he ever found out, what role you played in my disappearance, there would be hell to pay. You know how insane he is. He would've stopped at nothing to make you suffer for helping me. Going by the interest he developed in Sherlock, it's save to assume, that he at least has his suspicions about your involvement. There was no way, I was going to add to that.” I looked at him pleadingly, urging him to understand. I had done what I had to and I was sorry, that I had to involve his brother. But to be fair, he was already somewhat involved in all of this. Mycroft removed my hands from his blazer and pressed a kiss to my knuckles before letting go. “I understand, my dear. And yes, I assumed as much, pertaining to his sudden attention towards my dear brother. But I'm still not convinced, it was wise for you to return here. Clearly it must have crossed your mind, that this is what he wanted?” He took a step back, increasing the space between us. I had to resist the urge to grab at him and pull him closer again. One outburst of that kind was definitely enough, so I exhaled deeply and straightened my back.

“Of course it's what he wants, I'm not that daft, that I wouldn't recognize that this reeks of one of his schemes. But what else was there to do? If I had just started to run away, he would've found me again in no time. I'm tired of running, Mycroft.” I sounded as exhausted as I felt and Mycroft noticed it too, no doubt.

Apparently Sherlock had found his voice again, when he asked,“What exactly is the nature of your relationship with my brother?” I almost forgot, that there were other people in the room with us. His tone reminded me so much of our earlier confrontation that I felt my temper rising once again and I turned to him.

“Don't you even start, Sherlock Holmes! I've had enough of your fatuous insinuations! It is one thing to accuse me of some nefarious agenda, after all, you don't know me that well. But presuming that your brother would succumb to something as ridiculous as my supposed feminine wiles?! That's just ridiculous! Your brother is a good man, who clearly cares about his country and takes the threat that my brother poses very seriously and rightfully so.” I walked towards him, my anger getting the better of me. “And just for your information, Mr. _'I'm-not-interested-in-such-matters'_ , there is nothing going on between your brother and I. I admit, I'm very fond of him and he obviously returns that sentiment, but we are simply friends and nothing more. So you can just shove it where the sun don't shine, you infuriating prick!” I got right in his face, breathing heavily through my nose and glared up at him. He looked down at me for a moment, as if pondering what I had said and then that aggravating arsehole just started laughing!

“Oh my god, that is just magnificent! I certainly didn't see that coming!” He doubled over, guffawing even more. He laughed so hard, tears started to stream down his face. I didn't know if I should be insulted by his obvious amusement or not, so I opted instead for brushing past him and letting myself fall into his chair with a huff, narrowing my eyes at him. Still sniggering, he patted his brother on the back, who looked somewhat surprised about my outburst. “I never thought I'd see the day, where someone would defend the honour of the so-called Iceman. However did you manage for her to like you that much, dear brother?” I opened my mouth, to tell him off, but Mycroft beat me to it.

“Believe it or not, but I am more than capable of making friends, brother mine. And it's not everyday, that I meet someone who can more than keep up with my intellect. She is certainly no goldfish, as I'm sure you have realized by now.” Mycroft answered indignantly. Sherlock just shook his head amused, coming to stand in front of the chair I was occupying at the moment. “I apologize for my behaviour earlier. Your little outburst pertaining my brother clearly shows, that you are not harbouring any ill intentions. But what your fondness for him says about your state of mind, remains to be seen.” He extended his hand towards me, grinning. I grabbed it in a firm shake, never breaking eye contact, as an honest smile started to spread across my features. When I pulled him a bit closer, I could see his pupils dilating slightly, minimizing the blue-green iris of his eyes.

“I accept your apology, Sherlock. But for future references, I gravely dislike it, when people insult those close to me. As you can imagine, I don't have a great many friends and those I have, I will defend by any means necessary, so just keep that in mind.” I let go of his hand and looked past him towards John. He had remained silent throughout all of this and I was getting a bit worried. He still stood at the exact same spot in the kitchen, trying to process everything that had played out before him, going from the distant look on his face.

“Are you alright, John? You look a bit overwhelmed”, I addressed him and his eyes focused on me.

“Hmm? Oh yes, I'm fine. Just a bit surprised, is all. Didn't expect you to go off like that. And about Mycroft of all people. No offence”, he hastily added, directed at Mycroft.

“None taken, Doctor Watson. It took me a bit by surprise as well.” He smiled fondly at me, amusement dancing in his eyes. I returned his smile, blushing a bit and looking down at my hands. “Well, you are the closest friend I have. You're more of a brother to me, than my own brother ever was. The least I can do is defend you, when someone wrongfully accuses you of stupid things.” The last part was directed at Sherlock, who had the good grace to look a bit sheepish at my jab.

Clearing his throat, he clasped his hand behind his back and started pacing in front of the fireplace. “Now, enough of that, we have urgent matters to discuss. What can you tell us about your brothers operations?” Once again returning to his modus operandi, he stopped his pacing to look at me. Back to business it was then, apparently.

“First of all, you have to realize, that my brothers influence reaches far across the globe. There are very few places on this planet, where he doesn't have some kind of control. As of late, Japan was one of them. That's why I stayed there longer than anywhere else. But the tendrils of his empire have spread even wider in the last two years, in no small part because of my disappearance, no doubt. More control in foreign countries means more eyes and ears to look for me, I guess. Bringing him down will be no easy feat. He has people in almost all eastern European governments, with the exception of Estonia. There are connections to a plethora of criminal and terroristic organisations in the Middle East, as well as North-Korea and now even Japan. When I left him, he was in the throes of negotiating deals with a few leaders of criminal organisations in North and South America. I tried to keep my ears open for any new developments, but it has been difficult to gather information without drawing attention to myself. Sufficed to say, he is a very powerful individual and not to be underestimated. He seldom interacts with clients himself, opting for straw-men to do his bidding. I'm sure even most of the people working for or with him have no idea what the great Moriarty looks like. There are only a handful of people he lets close enough, his right hand and chief of staff is at the top of that list. His name is Sebastian Moran, expert marksman and from what I heard he was dishonourably discharged form the military, for what offence I don't know. He joined my brother not long after that and rose quickly in the ranks. He manages the staff and is the go-to-guy for everything to do with assassinations and weaponry. My brother goes nowhere without him, trusting him with his safety completely. Or as completely as someone like my brother can trust anyone, I suppose. Moran is absolutely loyal to James, so if we could get him out of the picture, it would be a huge blow to my brothers business. Unfortunately Moran is very good at not being found. I already told Mycroft about all of this, but even he wasn't able to capture him. It's time for a different approach, one that is less inside the law. It might be the only way to get a hold of him and get the ball rolling, so to speak.” Finishing my lengthy explanation, I watched Sherlocks thoughtful expression.

“So what you're telling us, is that your insane psychopath of a brother is almost immune to any attempts at overthrowing him. And the only way to get even close to that goal is to capture or permanently remove his right hand man. Who, of course, is an expert marksman and able to disappear at a moments notice and not even Mycroft can find him. Piece of cake really.”

“No need to be snappy with me, Mr. Holmes. I never said this was going to be easy. My brother is as brilliant as he is insane, so of course he would take great precautions to keep himself on top of the food-chain. But there might be a way, to lure Moran out, giving us a chance at catching him.” Mycroft caught on immediately, shooting me an unbelieving look. “Absolutely not, Alice! You're not going to act as bait, just so we might be able to take Moran down. Your brother will recognize it as a trap in an instant and will plan accordingly. I'm not going to let yourself get captured by him again.”

“Do you have a better idea, Myc? You had more than two years to try it by yourself and it clearly was to no avail. It is a risk I'm more than willing to take, if it means we can weaken my brother. And besides, we can put our own contingency plans into motion, should anything happen. I trust that between the three of us, we can come up with a sure-fire way to do this.” I steadily held his gaze, trying to convey how serious I was about this. Of course I didn't want to get captured by my brother again. There was no telling, what horrors might await me, if that happened.

But I had faith in our abilities to outsmart him. With three minds as bright as ours, there was no way, we couldn't come up with something, if we put our brainpower together and I told him as much. It took some convincing, but finally he reluctantly conceded for the time being and we began planning our next move.

 

* * *

 

We worked on our plan until it started to get dark outside, the living room barely illuminated by the dying sunlight, when I decided it was time to stop and get something to eat. Mycroft had left a few hours earlier to get back to work. He still wasn't completely convinced about the idea of me acting as bait, but he was overruled three to one. Even John was on board, albeit with reservations. He agreed with Mycroft on one point specifically and brought it up once again, when we got ready to go to dinner.

“What if he is not going to wait and just snatches you up when you least expect it? I mean he has waited for over two years to get you back, who's to say he would even play along?” Shrugging on my coat, I turned towards him. “I don't think he is going to pass the opportunity to play games. I know my brother and his need for dramatics. He doesn't do anything low-key. This is going to work, John, I'm sure of it.” Sherlock had to interject as well, while he donned on his Belstaff and scarf.

“From what I know about Moriarty, I have to agree with Alice. He loves playing games, to prove his superiority. And besides, if we're not going to let Alice out of our sight, there will be no chance for him to just snatch her from under our noses.” Somewhat mollified by that, John nodded once and we finally made our way down the stairs and out into the crisp evening. Exposing my whereabouts was the first step in our strategy and it was better to start as soon as possible. It wasn't all finalized at this point, but the minute details could still be hashed out later.

We went to a charming little Italian place just down the road. The owner, Angelo, greeted Sherlock and John as if they were old friends. Which wasn't all that wrong, at least pertaining to Sherlock. Apparently he got him off a murder charge a few years back and as a result Sherlock and everyone he brought with him could dine for free. Sherlock didn't order any food and when I asked about it he looked a bit irked. “I don't eat when on a case. Digestion slows me down.” I just rolled my eyes at his explanation and tucked into my fettuccine. When the flavour of the first bite hit my taste buds, I closed my eyes and let out a moan. Oh my god, this was delicious!

I opened my eyes and met Sherlocks stare. He had an unreadable expression on his face. “Sorry, but this is freaking amazing! Are you sure you don't want anything?” I laughed and held my pasta-filled fork out towards him. Contemplating for a moment his head leaned forward and he took the fork into his mouth, his eyes never leaving mine. The intimacy of the moment send a rush of blood to my cheeks, which warmed considerably. Why was it, that even the most innocent things felt so intense with this man? Sure, he was attractive with his dark curls, pale skin and ever-changing eyes, not to mention his prominent cheekbones. But usually those things didn't elicit such a response from me, so why was he different? _'Oh, you know exactly why!'_ , my brain offered unbidden.

I was brought out of my reverie by John clearing his throat. Sherlock had long since released the fork from his mouth, but my arm was still outstretched towards him. Blushing even harder I put my arm down and took a large sip of the wine we had ordered with our food. Trying not the meet the eyes of either Sherlock or John I put my glass back down and started picking at my pasta. All of a sudden, my appetite had subsided. An awkward silence ensued, interjected by the sudden chime of a mobile. Sherlock pulled his phone out of his coat-pocket and a smile started to spread across his face.

“It's Lestrade, apparently he has a case for us. Domestic homicide apparently, but something seems amiss, so he wants me to take a look.” He pocketed his phone, put his coat back on and exited the restaurant in a hurry. John and I rushed after him, not wanting to be left behind. Sherlock had already flagged down a cab and was waiting impatiently for us to get in. We all sat on the back-seat and I was sandwiched between them, my right leg brushing against Sherlocks long limbs occasionally. I pressed my legs together, to avoid further contact, not liking the feeling that fluttered in my belly every time our legs accidentally touched. Sherlock glanced at me curiously for a moment and then started smirking. Luckily he refrained from commenting on my stiff sitting posture, instead returning his gaze to the streets passing outside the window.

 


	6. Meetings and Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

The ride didn't take too long and as soon as we stopped, Sherlock jumped out of the car and made his way towards the two-story building, that was sectioned off by yellow police tape. John payed the cabbie as we exited the vehicle and we followed the consulting detective, who now stood in front of the tape, arguing with a female officer, an irritated look on his face. As we drew nearer I could make out the hostile expression the officer was wearing. “Donovan, Lestrade texted me that my presence was needed, so if you could just let me trough and spare us both the unnecessary commotion.” Sherlock sounded exasperated and tried to push past her, but the women, Donovan, wouldn't have any of it. “I don't care that he texted you, freak. He's not here at the moment, so I'm not going to let you through.” She scoffed, her eyes falling on John and me.

“Who's this? Managed to rope another unsuspecting victim into your fold?” Giving me the once over, she addressed me directly. “Word of advice, love, you don't want to get mixed up with this one. It's only a matter of time, before he ends up as a suspect, so you better get away from him, before it's too late.” Assessing her for a moment, I started laughing. “Oh my, you're really pissed off, that he does your job better than you, aren't you? I'm sorry, that you are so insecure in your own abilities, that you have to lash out like that.” I said in mock sympathy, patting her on the arm. “But if you would concentrate your efforts on actually solving crimes, instead of shagging one of your colleagues in the broom-closet, maybe, just maybe Sherlock wouldn't have to waste his time with the likes of you.” Giving her a brilliant smile, I ducked under the tape and made my way towards the front door, leaving a sputtering Donovan and a sniggering John behind. Sherlock caught up to me and gave me a curious look.

“You didn't have to do that, I had it under control.”

“Sure you had, but I don't like people insulting my friends, remember?”

Sherlocks brow furrowed in confusion. “You consider me a friend? Even after I basically accused you of trying to seduce me?” He seemed honestly baffled by this revelation.

“Of course I consider you a friend, maybe not a very close one, but I think we are more than acquaintances at this point, wouldn't you agree? Friendship is all about trust and I trust you, Sherlock or else I wouldn't still be here.”

He mulled my answer over for a bit and nodded. “I see. In that case, I consider you a friend as well. And for future references, Donovan is shagging Anderson, who by the way is married. Just thought you might need that information in the future.” He gave me a conspiratorial wink and we made our way inside the house, just as John caught up to us. He pulled me aside for a moment, amusement still visible in his eyes. “That was bloody brilliant! Sally is always hounding Sherlock and it was about time, that someone other than me told her off. You should've seen the look on her face, when you just left her standing there. It was hilarious!” He sniggered, giving my arm a gentle squeeze. “I'm really glad we met you and I bet Sherlock is too, even if he wouldn't admit it. Going by the way he looks at you, I'm sure he likes you quite a lot.”

He winked at me with a knowing smile and I blushed. Desperate to change the subject I turned my attention to the task at hand. “Speaking of him, we should probably go see, where he is.” John just gave me another smile, indicating, that he would drop it, at least for now. Before we could go looking for him, Sherlock emerged from one of the rooms to the left, a broad-shoulderd, sun-tanned man with greying hair directly behind him. “What is keeping you so long? There is a murder to solve, in case you forgot!” He turned around, getting back into the room he just left. Warm brown eyes met mine and the man that had followed Sherlock outside took in a sharp breath, looking somewhat baffled by my presence.

“Hi, Greg!” Timidly I waved a hand in greeting.

“Oh my god, Alice! What in the world are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be hiding in some foreign country, far away from here? Does Mycroft know you're back?” He made his way over to me and enveloped me in a tight hug. I returned it enthusiastically and beamed up at him after we parted.

“Yes, Mycroft already knows, that I'm back, don't worry. Can't keep anything hidden from him for too long, you know how it is.”

Sherlocks head popped out of the room again at the commotion we were making. “How do you know Alice? And more importantly, how do you know that Mycroft knows her?” He asked suspiciously, his analytical gaze trained on the older man. Greg sputtered and a blush crept up his neck and face, tinting his skin in a dust of pink.

“Oh for heavens sake! Not only has my brother managed to make friends, he even has taken on a lover without me noticing. I can't believe his nerve! I wonder if Mummy knows about this?” Sherlock exclaimed, more to himself than anyone else and he seemed to be genuinely perturbed by this turn of events. Obviously he wasn't used to the idea, that his brother could be anything more than the cold and unfeeling person he presented himself as.

Greg blushed even harder, not meeting Sherlocks gaze. “Well, we do go to lunch with your parents every few months, so I guess you could say, she already knows”, he admitted. Sherlock looked even more distraught over that, the case momentarily forgotten. “Great, just great. He is the one, always telling me, that caring is not an advantage and then he goes gallivanting around with his _boyfriend_ and even introduces you to our parents. I was under the impression, that he has no interest in such mundane things as romantical entanglements. I should've never let you two meet.”

“Well, to be fair, they met each other long before you even met Greg, so there is that”, I interjected.

“You knew about this? What am I saying, of course you knew. That explains how you know Gavin here. You could've at least given me a bit of a warning. Isn't that what friends are supposed to do, looking out for each other?” He looked at me, betrayal shining in his eyes.

“Don't you even start. It wasn't my place to tell you, now was it? And don't give me those sad puppy-eyes, they won't work on me.” I shook my head at his antics and stepped past him into the room, ignoring his look of mock outrage at my exclamation.

Letting my eyes wander across the room, it became obvious, that it was the main scene of the crime. The bloodied fire-poker, with bits of skin and hair still on it was a dead give-away, not to mention the blood-spatter that marred the pea-green walls and the large pool of blood that had soaked into the beige rug in front of the fireplace. The others had entered as well and Greg started to explain, what had supposedly happened.

“The neighbours called the police at about 3:45 pm, because they heard screams and banging coming from inside. This wasn't that unusual, we had to send a unit out here a few times in the past for domestic disturbances. Seems like it took a turn for the worst this time 'round. The corresponding officers had to break down the door to gain access, because no one was answering, when they arrived and it seemed odd, when there clearly had been someone in the house, when the neighbours called. They found Mr. Kensingtons body here in the living room, covered with blood. Apparently Mrs. Kensington bludgeoned him to death with a fire-poker and then fled the scene. We have an APB out at the moment, but we weren't able to locate her so far. But that's not really the reason I called you here. This is.”

And with that he pulled out an evidence bag and handed it to Sherlock. I blanched as I caught a glimpse at its contents. Inside was a thick creme-coloured envelope with no label, looking inconspicuous at first glance. What made me take a shaky step back, was the symbol of a magpie pressed into the blood-red wax seal. I started to sway a little light-headed, when the sound of Rossinis overture 'The Thieving Magpie' started to play in my head, accompanied by memories of flashing knives and the feeling of blood running down my body. The walls of the room seemed to close in on me and my breath came out in short, raspy gasps. A high-pitched sound filled the space around me and through the static in my ears, it took me a moment to realize, that I was making said sound. My vision was blurred and I could barely make out the shapes of the the other people in the room, one of which was kneeling in front of me, grabbing me by the shoulders. How did I end up on the floor? I didn't even remember moving and that thought brought me out of my panic induced haze. My eyes focused on Sherlocks, he was the one kneeling in front of me, I realized.

“Alice, can you hear me? Come on, breathe with me. In... and out. In... and out, in... and out, that's my girl.” He gave me a reassuring smile when I followed his lead and my breathing began to slow down. He helped me up and squeezed my hand before letting go and turning to Greg. “John and I will take this to the lab, could you get Alice back to Baker Street and inform my brother that we need someone to keep an eye on her while we're gone?”

“Sherlock, I'm alright now, no need to make a fuss. I'm coming with you, the message is obviously meant for me and I need to see for myself.” I protested. My voice still sounded week and breathy, so the stern tone I was going for, was a bit undermined by that.

Sherlock just shot me an unbelieving look. “You are clearly in no condition to handle this right now. I'm not even sure, if we should proceed with our plan, going by your reaction over a simple thing such as this. It would be better, if you would just let us handle it and go back to our flat to rest. We will inform you of our findings, once we're back.” With that he turned to leave, but I grabbed his arm and swung him back around.

“Sherlock Holmes, I'm not going back to your flat to lie down like some fragile damsel in distress! I'm perfectly capable of dealing with this, thank you very much. It just took me by surprise, is all. So no, I'm not going back to your place, I'm coming with you to the lab!” I stomped my foot like a child throwing a tantrum and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Fine, suit yourself. But don't expect me to rush to your side when you get lost in your flashbacks again!” He angrily brushed past me and I gritted my teeth, staring after him. “Well, that was...” Greg trailed off, sounding unsure how to describe what just happened. John clasped him on the back, giving him a toothy grin.

“Don't worry about it, mate. You should've seen them this morning, the sexual tension between them was so thick, you could've cut it with a knife.”

“Oh shut it, John!” I barked at him and stormed out of the house. I could hear him and Greg sniggering loudly behind my back as I left. Outside, I sucked the cool, fresh air deep into my lungs and tried to calm down. Sherlock stood at the curb, trying to flag down another cab, all the while typing furiously on his phone. Instead of going over, I just stood there, observing him. The yellowish glow of the lanterns cast shadows across his face and made his cheekbones even more prominent. His dark-brown curls looked almost black in the darkness and they swayed lightly in the soft evening breeze. It made my hands itch with the urge to tangle my fingers in them and pull his face towards me until...

“Enjoying the view?” John interrupted my treacherous thoughts. He had followed my line of vision and gave me this blasted knowing smirk again. “Whatever”, I huffed and made my way to the detective, who had just managed to procure us transportation. John followed me, still stifling his laughter when we got in the cab. Sherlock didn't even spare a glance our way and just instructed the driver to get us to St. Barts. The atmosphere was painfully uncomfortable and made me squirm in my seat. “Would you please stop that, it's distracting.” Sherlock admonished me, still not making eye-contact.

Pressing my face in my hands, I groaned. “Look, Sherlock, I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh back there. I know you didn't mean it like that and I appreciate your concern, I really do. But if I just hide myself away again, it's not gonna accomplish anything. I need to do this, not only to bring my brother down, but for myself as well. I need to control my fear and if I can't do that, than he has already won. In order for me to reach that control, I have to be exposed to everything he throws our way, or else I'm never going to move forward. I think you can understand that, can't you?”

He met my eyes at last, studying my face. “I understand and I will keep it in mind. You are not a damsel in distress and I don't see you as such, believe me. Strength isn't always about keeping ones composure, but about getting up again and again to fight another day. Considering that, you're definitely one of the strongest people I know and I consider myself lucky to be your friend.” The expression in his eyes was dead serious, he really seemed to mean, what he said.

“Thank you, that really means a lot coming from you.” Tears had started to fill my eyes and I blinked them away, giving Sherlock a smile.

John cleared his throat and his voice sounded hoarse. “We're here guys.”

“Well then, lets get this over with, shall we?” Sherlock clapped his hands together and exited, followed directly by me, which left John to pay for the fare.

 

The three of us entered the hospital and made our way to the elevators, riding downstairs to the pathology department. We walked down a short corridor and Sherlock strode through the doors of the morgue like he owned the place, followed at a more measured pace by John and myself.

A pretty brunette, clad in a lab-coat and surgical gloves, was standing over a naked body lying on a metal slab. She looked up when we came in and immediately zeroed in on Sherlock.

“H-Hello there, Sherlock. A-are you here for Mr. Kensington?” Her voice was small and quiet and she looked a bit flustered, when Sherlock just ignored her and started to examine the body.

Noticing John and me in the background, she looked between us, her brows furrowed. “Are you involved with the case?” She addressed me, a look of reservation in her chocolate-brown eyes.

“That's just Alice, she's with us. No need to concern yourself with her.” Sherlock interjected, not bothering to even look at her. The look of reservation changed to a look of barely restrained suspicion and she seemed to get even more nervous. I came forward and held my hand out in greeting. “Don't mind him, I'm sure you know how he is. As he already said, my name is Alice and I'm a client of his, well, sort of. I'm neither involved in this particular case, nor in any sort of romantic relationship with Sherlock, so no need to worry.” I smiled brightly at her, trying to dissolve the tension.

Her face fell for a moment and my smile faltered a little. “Oh crap, I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to come out like that!” My eyes widened as I realised my mistake and I put my hand back down. She blushed and shook her head, stepping a bit closer with her own hand outstretched now.

“Oh, umm, n-never mind that. I'm Molly Hooper, by the way, nice to meet you!” She gave me a guarded smile. Relieved I took the offered hand and shook it, returning her smile with one of my own. “Nice to meet you, Miss Hooper, or is it Doctor Hooper? And sorry again, I hope I didn't offend you in any way, that was not my intention.” I let go of her hand and took a step back.

“Oh, not at all. And please, call me Molly, no need to call me Doctor.” She gave me a another guarded smile before she turned to John.

“Hello John, I haven't seen you in a while, how have you been?” Her voice sounded considerably warmer, when she addressed the doctor. I felt bad for her, her infatuation with Sherlock was glaringly obvious, just as Sherlocks obvious disinterest in her. She seemed to be used to him ignoring her and brushing her off and I felt the irrational urge to protect her. She looked so tiny and frail in her flowery blouse and baggy khakis, like the slightest draft might blow her away. She kept glancing from the corner of her eye at Sherlock and fidgeting nervously at the hem of her sleeve, while she talked with John.

Sherlock had finished his examination of the body and turned his attention to Molly, giving her a dazzling smile. “Molly, we need to use the lab. There is some evidence from the crime scene I need to analyse. Would you be a dear and open up Lab B for us?”

She practically melted under his gaze, blushing a deep scarlet and nodding emphatically.

“Y-Yes of c-course, Lab B is empty at the moment, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Follow me.”

As soon as she turned around, Sherlocks smile dropped and he wore his usual blank expression. I gave him a reprimanding look and shook my head at him, when he looked at me questioningly. _'Later',_ I mouthed and he just shrugged and went to follow the tiny pathologist. 

“He does that sort of thing all the time with her. Poor girl just can't seem to refuse him as soon as he starts flirting. I've tried to talk to him about it, but I don't think he gets it.” John whispered in my ear, when we followed the pair down the corridor.

“I think he gets it perfectly fine, John. He just doesn't care, that he's hurting her with his actions, as long as he gets what he wants.” Not trying to silence my voice, I could see Sherlock wince at my words. He knew exactly what we were talking about, but he gave no verbal response. Luckily Molly was too far ahead to have heard me, already unlocking a pair of doors with LAB 2 written on them in bold letters.

She turned the light switch and the fluorescent lamps above us flickered to life, illuminating the room in bright light. Sherlock made his way over to a long counter filled with all sorts of equipment. He shrugged out of his coat, draped it over a chair and grabbed some surgical gloves, holding a pair out to me. Molly shifted awkwardly, watching us with trepidation. “Umm, do you need anything else, Sherlock?” He waved her off with a gloved hand. “No, not at the moment. If Alice and I need anything we will send John to get you.”

“Oi! I'm not your bloody messenger-boy, mate!” John exclaimed but Sherlock waved him off as well.

“Don't be so daft, John. Of course you're not a messenger-boy, you're my assistant. Ergo you will assist me in getting Molly, should the need for her arise.” John just huffed and rolled his eyes at his flatmate. “Thank you, Molls, I'll take it from here. I'll make sure he doesn't destroy the lab.” He smiled at the pathologist and patted her on the shoulder. Blushing again she just nodded at him and with one last glance in our direction, she left.

Sherlock was already opening the evidence-bag and took out the dreaded envelope. He held it against the light, looking for any obvious signs of fingerprints or residue but of course there weren't any. Handing him a scalpel so he could remove the seal, I stepped closer to watch him cut it open carefully. Inside was a folded sheet of paper and he tentatively took it out and unfolded it. My eyes immediately fell on the first few words written in neat, cursive handwriting and my blood ran cold. Reaching out a gloved hand, I took the letter, that was obviously meant for me, from Sherlock and started to read.

 

_Dearest Sister,_

  
  
_I have missed you terribly and your long absence has left me with a bleeding heart, that yearned for your return._

_When word of your recurrence reached me, I was overfilled with joy._

_I  just can't wait to have you in my arms again and I hope we can see each other soon._

_There is so much time we have to make up for, after all!_

  
  
_With much love,_

  
  
_Your brother, Jim xxx_

 

 

 


	7. Friends and Foes

It had been two weeks since that dreadful letter from my brother and there had been no word from him since. I was getting a bit restless and tried to get my mind off of things, by helping Sherlock and John with a few cases. Running around London and catching criminals was oddly exiting and I relished the opportunity to do so. The plan was still in motion and I made no effort in disguising myself, when we went out into the streets. We were trying to taunt my brother into action, by parading me around the city and it was just a matter of time now, before he would either send another message or try to apprehend me.

Mycroft had been over at the flat a few times, voicing his concerns and trying to persuade me, to find another way of dealing with the situation. He told me in no uncertain terms, that he would ferry me off into a safe house, if there would be any indication of things going sideways. Surprisingly, Sherlock took my side in the ongoing argument and it almost got out of hand, when the brothers started shouting at each other. I expected Mycroft to get all protective over me, but it was a pleasant turn of events, that Sherlock stood up for me and defended my ability to handle myself.

We had grown closer over the last few weeks and I caught him initiating physical contact more and more often. His fingers would linger a moment longer than necessary, when he handed me stuff in the lab, he would keep closer than needed, when we compared notes about cases and he would find reasons to put his hand on the small of my back, when went in and out of buildings. At first I was uncomfortable and skittish, when he touched me, but soon I started to get used to it and at some point I almost craved for those lingering touches. John noticed the change in Sherlocks behaviour towards me and would make remarks about it from time to time, making me blush and Sherlock scoff indignantly, telling him not to be ridiculous. After all, John should know, it wasn't his area and he was married to his work, thank you very much. John would just smirk at his outbursts and snigger silently to himself, obviously relishing in the fact, that the great Sherlock Holmes wasn't as immune to sentiment as he wanted to let the world believe.

When we were at the lab, examining evidence from cases, I tried to keep him at arms-length. I had become closer to Molly and didn't want our budding friendship to relapse because of Sherlocks outwardly affection towards me. She was such a nice girl and I had become very fond of her. She would really come out of her shell, as soon as Sherlock wasn't around. Whenever we were visiting the morgue, I would take the time to get a coffee with her in the hospital cafeteria. We got along splendidly and I greatly enjoyed her company, her sometimes awkward jokes never failing to make me laugh. I couldn't understand, why Sherlock was so oblivious to her charm. She was beautiful in an unassuming way, with her cinnamon-coloured hair, big, brown doe-eyes and adorably upturned nose. And she was a bloody brilliant pathologist, graduating from Cambridge with honours two years earlier than her fellow students and she also was the youngest specialist registrar ever at Barts.

I had a hard time explaining why I was living at Baker Street as I didn't want her to know too much about what was going on. John had told me, that my brother had pretended to be interested in her, just so he could get closer to Sherlock. I didn't want her finding out, that I was related to the guy who had broken her trust by lying to her about his intentions. So I skirted along the subject every time it came up, diverging her attention to other topics. Even though we got along very well, I would still catch her watching me, whenever Sherlock and I interacted with each other. Sometimes she had an odd look on her face, when she noticed him standing too close, or touching me without real reason. As much as I tried to prevent him from acting this way in front of her, it wasn't always possible. Sherlock was like a cat, one minute he was at the other side of the room, the next he was standing next to me, closer than was strictly necessary. Molly never commented on this, but I could see it in her eyes, that she wasn't all that happy about it, so I made an effort to reassure her, that there was nothing going on between me and the curly-haired genius.

Then, one day, as we were running some tests on a pair of leather gloves, left at the crime scene of our latest case, he got a text from Greg, pertaining to a new lead in said case. We weren't finished with testing at that point and he instructed John to stay with me at the lab so I could complete the examination, while he would meet up with the D.I. Instead of just rushing out of the lab as he usually did, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead, mumbling that we would see each other at the flat later. Of course Molly entered just at that exact same moment and immediately froze on the spot, a look of hurt and betrayal fluttering across her expressive face. Sherlock didn't even seem to notice his uncharacteristic behaviour, his mind already occupied with Gregs message and with one last instruction to John, to keep an eye on me, he left the lab with a spring in his step. With a baffled expression, I met Johns equally bewildered look. It took me a moment to realize, that Molly was still standing unmoving in the doorway, staring at me with wide eyes.

“Oh my god, Molly, I'm so sorry, I had no idea he would do such a thing! I'm sure he didn't mean to do that!” I was desperate to save our blooming friendship, knowing full well, that she would believe I had lied to her about my relationship with Sherlock. Molly just looked at me a moment longer, before abruptly turning around and leaving me and John alone in the lab. The only sound that could be heard, was the whirring of one of the centrifuges in the corner. I took a step towards the door, wanting to run after her to try and explain myself. Clearing his throat, John held up a hand, stopping me from following her. “I don't think this would be a good idea right now, Alice. Give her some time to process this, I'm sure she will come around again.”

“John, you don't understand. I practically swore on my life, that there was nothing going on between me and Sherlock. She's going to think, I lied in her face, after this display to the contrary! I have to talk to her and explain!” I tried to brush past him, but he grabbed my arm, hindering me from going any further. “Alice, don't. You're just going to make it worse at this point. As I said, give her some time to process things and then you can try to talk to her about it. And to be honest, you did kind of lie to her, when you said that there was nothing going on. There is obviously something going on between the two of you, even if neither of you care to admit that.” He squeezed my arm to emphasize his point and gave me a small smile, before letting go. I sighed in frustration.

“I know that, I just didn't think it would lead anywhere. We're talking about Sherlock here. He isn't really known for getting involved in things of that nature. And I certainly didn't anticipate him acting in that way. In front of other people no less.”

“Yeah, well, I'm pretty certain nobody could have foreseen his reaction to you. I have known him for quite a bit now and he didn't even act this way with The Woman. And I was sure, that he felt attracted to her, even if he denied it. As unfortunate as it was, that Molly stumbled in on this, I think you should talk to Sherlock first and sort out, whatever this is between you, before you try to smooth things over with Molly.”

Hanging my head I just nodded, fiddling with my sleeves. Of course John was right, but I had never been in this situation before and didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to loose Mollys friendship, but the way things looked at the moment, it was a very real possibility. I cringed as my mind conjured up the hurt look in her eyes. How could I fix this without hurting her even more?

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of Johns phone. He answered the call and his eyes flitted over to me, as he was talking to the person on the other end of the line. “Would you rather stay here or go back to the flat? Sherlock needs my help with something and thinks it's to dangerous for you to join us.”

“I'll be fine here, no worries. I'm sure Mycroft can send someone over to keep an eye on me and escort me back to the flat later.” I said, intending to try and speak to Molly, as soon as John had left. He conveyed my answer to Sherlock, who seemed fine with that arrangement and ended the call. After shooting off a text to Mycroft, who assured us, that there would be an agent coming over shortly, John grabbed his coat, gave me a short hug and went on his way. I heard him bidding goodbye to Molly and was still contemplating on what I was going to say to her, when I heard her footsteps coming towards the lab.

Stepping behind the counter for some measure of distance, I steeled myself for the argument to come. I know I should probably talk to Sherlock first, as per Johns request, but I couldn't pass the opportunity to at least try to explain my point of view on the whole debacle. When she entered I gave her a tentative smile that fell from my face as I noticed her pale face and the tremors running over her body. Rushing to her side, I looked her over with concern. “Molly, are you alright? You don't look so well, here, sit down a moment.” I tried to lead her to one of the high-chairs at the counter, but she wouldn't move, hands kept behind her back. She looked down on the floor, tears dropping from her eyes, which concerned me even more. Suddenly her arm shoot forward and I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Clutching at it and noticing the now empty syringe in her trembling hands I stumbled backwards. The room started to spin and I felt my body tilting sideways, before I landed in a heap on the cold ground.

Molly looked at me with panicked, tear-filled eyes, dropping the syringe, which landed with a clacking sound on the floor. “I-I'm so sorry, Alice. B-But he s-said, he would k-kill Sh-Sherlock if I didn't d-do as he says.” She started crying, embracing herself with shaky arms. My vision started to darken and I could feel the hold on my consciousness slipping. Before I was totally out, I saw a tall blond man enter the lab, crouching down in front of me, a devious grin on his face. “I'm here to take you home, kitten. It wasn't exceptionally wise for your keepers to leave you unattended. Well, better for us, I assume.”

The last thing I saw, before everything faded to black was Sebastians face and the expression of victory in his eyes.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

I woke with a thrumming headache and a fuzzy feeling on my tongue. Blinking heavily against my blurry vision, I tried orienting myself. Where was I and how did I end up here? Then the memories came rushing back and I let out a panicked whimper, trying to sit up. The world started spinning as I moved my body and I slumped back against the soft mattress I was lying on. My mind slowly started to clear enough for me to take in my surroundings, making my heart beat frantically in my chest. Panic and bile rose in my throat, when I finally noticed, that I was lying in a plush, king-sized bed, clad only in a flimsy nightgown, my hair falling in open waves over my shoulders.

Jerking upright again, I ignored the woozy feeling in my brain and swung my legs over the side of the bed, intending to get up and find a way out. I didn't get very far though, my potential escape was hindered by the fact, that I was bound to the bed by a sturdy looking chain, that ended in a cuff around my right ankle. In my panic I hadn't even noticed the soft clinking sounds of metal against metal when I first moved. No, no. no, this couldn't be happening! Pleading desperately with any deity known to man, I tried to get the chain off, all the while tears ran down my face. But soon I had to realize, that there was no way for me to free myself, except for cutting off my foot. I slumped to the ground, curling in on myself and sobbing uncontrollably for a few moments. This was exactly what Mycroft and John had warned me about, but I had just brushed them off, telling myself that I knew my brother good enough to anticipate his actions. I was pretty sure, that Sherlock and John leaving me behind had been a trap, designed to separate me and get to me, when I was left defenceless. It hurt to think about Mollys part in all of this, the feeling of betrayal burning heavily in the pit of my stomach.

Picking myself up from the cold hardwood floor, I looked around the room, searching for something that would maybe help me to at least defend myself. The interior was luxurious, even if the room was rather small, the walls were covered in red brocade, matching the bedding and the canopy of the large four-poster bed, that dominated the room. A vanity stood to the left, filled with make-up, perfumes and a large wooden jewellery case. The windows next to it were covered with long velvety curtains in the same deep red as the walls and bed. I couldn't get close enough to push them aside and maybe catch a glimpse of the outside world. On the right side of the room stood a large dresser, sandwiched in between two doors, one of which was slightly ajar, presumably leading into the bathroom. The other door looked more sturdy and instead of a normal lock, there was a keypad and what looked like a fingerprint-scanner. There was no visible way for me to get out of here, I realized. Even if I could somehow manage to get rid of my chain, I wouldn't be able to open the door without the proper code, not even mentioning the fingerprint. I was pretty sure, that I would find bars over the windows, if I could reach them. James never did anything half-arsed, at least I was right about that, I thought resentfully. Unable to tell, how much time had passed since Molly had drugged me, I pondered, if the boys already knew that I had been captured. If that was the case, I just hoped they would find a way to get me out of here, wherever here was. This wasn't like before, I tried to remind myself. No one knew or cared about my well being the last time I was in this situation. But now I had friends, who would do everything in their power to help me, I was sure about that.

Somewhat reassured by that knowledge, I sat back down on the bed, bringing my legs up in front of me and putting my head on my knees. There was nothing I could do, except wait for my brother to make is inevitable entry. Unfortunately I didn't have to wait long, just as I was settled on the bed, I heard footsteps coming to a close in front of the door. The red light on the keypad turned to green and the door swung inwards without a sound. The almost black eyes of my brother met my face and a delighted smile lit his pale features, making me shiver. I knew that look, he looked the same, every time he punished me for a variety of reasons, only he knew. Without saying a word, he closed the door behind him and made his way over to me. I couldn't help myself and scrambled backwards on the bed, to put as much distance between us as possible. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, still not uttering a word. It made me even more keyed up, the silent treatment obviously accomplishing what he had intended. I watched him warily, when he sat on the edge of the bed, leaning down to rid himself of his shoes and socks and then scooting up onto the mattress, leaning his upper body against the headboard.

“Isn't this nice? Just like old times. Well, except for the chain of course.” He smirked, not looking and me directly, but I could see him watching my reaction through the corner of his eyes. I remained silent, my throat closing up in fear and I tried to shift farther away from him. His hand shot out abruptly, clamping down hard on my arm and I let out a whimper as he pulled me closer.

“Where do you think you're going, Ally-Bean? Don't you want to give your big brother a proper welcome after all our time apart?” He brought me close to his face, his gaze flickering to my lips, as he licked his own unconsciously. Before I could even try to get out of his grasp, his mouth came crashing down against mine, hard. I gasped in shock and his tongue welcomed the opportunity to slip into my open mouth uninvited. I let my jaw go slack, not reciprocating the kiss in any way. Angrily he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and bit down so hard, that I could taste the metallic tang of blood. Suppressing the cry of pain travelling up my airways, I let myself go completely limp, not reacting to his ministrations. He released my bleeding lip with a pop and pushed me down on the bed. Rolling his body, he was now straddling my hips, pinning down my wrists on either side of my head.

“That is not, how we're going to play this, baby-sis”, he snarled at me. Leaning his head closer and putting his lips to my ear, he whispered, “I want to hear you scream, Alice. I want to hear you beg for mercy, while I drive myself into your sweet little pussy, over and over again. You owe me this, dear sister. For just abandoning me like that. What happened to us against the world, hmm? Didn't I take care of you, Ally-Bean? Didn't I give you everything you could ever need, every luxury you could have wanted? “ Lifting his head, he stared at me expectantly. Fear made place for anger at his words, the gravity of the situation momentarily forgotten.

“It was never about taking care of me, James. Everything was always about control, manipulating me to do as you wanted and when that didn't work, you hurt me. Does that sound like taking care of someone to you? You broke my bones, you cut my flesh and you violated my body in every way possible and then you expect me to just stay by your side? You even made me addicted to heroin for goodness sake! So no, you didn’t give me anything except pain and misery. And there is no us against the world, because there is no us and there never was! It has always been only you, so don't try to make me feel guilty about leaving you, brother!” I spat at him, saying the word brother with the most contempt I could muster. The grip on my wrists tightened making me wince in pain, but I didn't break eye-contact, defiantly holding his darkening gaze.

Unexpectedly he let go and rolled off of me, standing up from the bed and putting his shoes and socks back on. He turned towards the door and without looking back at me, he tipped in the code and let the scanner read his thumb-print. When the door opened, he stood there for a moment, his back still turned toward me.

“Maybe you would be better off with Tiger taking care of you. Seeing as I am incapable of doing so apparently. I will let you think about that and come back tomorrow, to see if you have changed your mind. Goodnight, Ally-Bean.”

He left and closed the door behind him, not looking back. I felt like a bucket of ice-cold water had been emptied over me. He wouldn't do that, would he? Leaving Sebastian to take care of me, would most certainly lead to me dying in the most horrible way possible. My brother did have certain sadistic tendencies, but he liked fucking with some-ones head more, than hurting them physically. Sebastian on the other hand... As instructed by my brother, he had been the one handing out my harsher punishments. He evidently had enjoyed himself very much, it had been clearly noticeable by the large bulge that tented his cargo-pants, every time he had been finished with whatever punishment James had wanted to conflict upon me. There had only been one time, when James had allowed him to take things further and it had nearly broken me. James had of course noticed and started to let Sebastian watch on occasion, when he had his way with me. The message had been clear, behave yourself, or Tiger will not only be watching. That son of a bitch knew exactly, that I would do anything to avoid that, even if it meant I had to beg for forgiveness on hands and knees.

I had no other choice but to play along and it felt like a heavy blanket, suffocating me, when I thought about all the things James might do to me tomorrow. I curled in on myself, to overwrought to even cry at this point. The adrenaline that had coursed through my veins had dissipated and I could still feel the lingering effects of the drugs I had been induced with, making my eyelids heavy. Not wanting to fall asleep and making myself vulnerable I struggled to stay awake but I could feel myself slipping away. I fought my body into an upright position, but it didn't seem to help, as I was just feeling even more sleepy now. Something wasn't right, but my muddled brain was to slow to figure out what it was. A low hissing sound came from above my head and when I looked up, I noticed an air-vent in the ceiling, emitting some kind of gas into the room. _'That fucker'_ , was the last thought I had, when my body slumped down and sleep overtook me.

 


	8. Welcomes and Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There be smut in this one. Heed the tags and all that but most importantly, enjoy!

There was something very warm and heavy on top of me, crushing my body into the matress, making it hard for me to breathe and suffocating me in heat. My eyes flew open and my panicked gaze landed on a pair of sky-blue eyes, peering down at me through half-closed lids. I tried to wiggle my way out from under him and his chuckle at my futile attempts reveberated through me.

“Good morning, kitten. Sleep well?” He smirked, pressing me even harder into the mattress, rubbing his straining erection against my body. Watching my mouth with a hungry gaze as I swallowed heavily and licked my dry lips, he leaned closer to my head, inhaling deeply.

“Mmh, I forgot how amazing you smell, little kitty-cat. But I think it's time for our little stray to take a shower, wouldn't you agree?” Winking at me, he rolled himself off of me and pulled us both off the bed. I stumbled forward on shaky legs, as he pushed me towards the bathroom door, just now noticing the lack of restraints around my ankle. There was no time to dwell on my new-found freedom of movement though, because Sebastian continued to push me into the bathroom, closing the door behind us. He leaned against it, with his arms crossed, watching me expectantly. I just stood there, shivering from the cool air that seeped through my flimsy attire and wrapped my arms around my torso.

“What are you waiting for, a written invitation? Off with your clothes, I don't have all day.” The smirk was gone, replaced by something much more sinister and I felt fear coiling in my belly. Wrapping my arms tighter around myself and shaking my head, I took a few steps back, until my hips hit the corner of the sink behind me. His look turned predatory and he pushed himself away from the door, making his way towards me.

“Do you want me to undress you, is that it? Oh, kitten, why didn't you just say so?” My eyes almost bulged out of my head at the implication. Taking a shuddering breath, I looked away from him and reached for the hem of my nightgown, pulling it over my head in one swift movement. Dodging him, I made my way over to the shower, covering my upper body with my arms. He let out a pleased hum, as he stepped behind me and ran his fingers over the scar-tissue that covered my back. My body went rigid at his touch and the trembling that ran through me intensified. Undeterred by my reaction, he reached over and turned on the shower, pressing his muscled body against my shaking form. His hands ran down my sides, his fingers slipping into the waistband of the panties I was wearing, pushing them down to my feet. Without as much as a mumble, I stepped under the hot spray of water, closing my eyes and trying to ignore his presence.

My eyes flew open again, when I heard the rustle of fabric, indicating that he was undressing himself as well. Supporting myself with one hand on the tiled wall, I watched with mounting trepidation, as he took off his shoes, socks, shirt and pants. Left only in a pair of black briefs, he let his eyes wander hungrily over my wet, naked body. I pressed myself into the corner farthest away from him, as he shed his briefs and entered the shower, his now bare cock jutting out in front of him, already fully hard. He stood under the spray with his back to me and I couldn't help the whimper that escaped my throat. Without turning, he started talking to me again.

“I'm not going to fuck you, Alice, so calm the hell down. We're just going to take a nice shower together, nothing more. So stop your whimpering and come here.” The last part was meant as a direct order and I responded automatically by stepping closer to him. He manhandled me to stand under the water and in front of him, my back to his hard chest. He was grinding his cock against my lower back, eliciting another fearful whimper from me. Grabbing a fistful of my hair, he pulled my head back, so I was forced to look at his face. “What did I just tell you?” The grip on my hair tightened painfully as he stared down at me with an angry expression. Casting my eyes downward, I mumbled an apology, not wanting to aggravate him further. Letting go of my hair, he patted me on the head and reached for the shampoo that stood on a ledge inside the shower.

“There now, was that so hard? I just want to show you, how good I'm going to take care of you. Trying to make your decision easier, y'know.” I bit down on my lip, to keep myself from commenting on his goading. Of course James would have initiated this, to remind me of who was in control. I let my body relax, as Sebastian started to lather shampoo into my hair. His calloused fingers massaged my scalp and I couldn't help the moan escaping my lips at the feeling. Immediately my body stiffened as I felt his cock twitching at the sound I had made. I didn't want this, didn't want him touching me and yet here I was, moaning like a wanton whore. It made me sick to my stomach, that my body was already betraying me. They both knew exactly how to play me, after all, they had years and years of practice. Sebastian just chuckled and continued to rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

Grabbing a wash-cloth from a hook on the wall, he squeezed a large amount of soap onto it and started to lather my arms and neck. The artificial scent of strawberries filled the steamy air around us, making my eyes fill with tears and my heart lurch in my chest. I had started using this particular brand of soap after my escape. In fact, Mycroft had been the one to buy it for me, as I had no money at the time and was living with him for a few weeks, before being shipped off to another country. I hadn't been able to get my hands on more, because they were produced by a small company here in Britain and I didn't want to risk getting caught, by leaving a paper-trail that could potentially lead back to me. The question was, how did my brother know about this? A more urgent question started to poke at me. If he knew about this, than he had known where I was at the time. Why didn't he come for me sooner? Had this all just been an elaborate game for him? My thoughts started to blur together, the magnitude of this all just being a sick and twisted game was too much for me to handle. My legs buckled, when all the fight I had left just vanished from me and the only thing keeping me upright, were the strong arms wrapped around my ribcage.

“Figured it out, didn't you? Took you long enough. Did you really think we would just let you leave like that? We always knew where you were, kitten. But the boss wanted to let you stew a bit, before we bring you home again. Tell me, love, was it worth it?” He grumbled in my ear, confirming my suspicions. I felt something break inside, my mind going completely blank. It had all been for nothing, I never truly escaped anything and there was no-one who could help me. No matter how hard I tried, I would always end up back here, with the two men who had complete control over my mind and body. Darkness, all consuming, filled my heart, snuffing out the last of my resistance. What was even the point in fighting any of this?

I felt nothing, when Sebastian finished washing me, turned the water off and lifted me out of the shower. He proceeded to dry me with a towel and just let me stand unmoving in the middle of the room, while he dried himself and put his clothes back on. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he gently led me out of the bathroom, pushing me towards the bed, that was now occupied by my brothers suit-clad form, lying above the covers, with his hands behind his head. His only acknowledgement of my presence was a raised eyebrow, before he addressed his second in command.

“Whatever did you do to her, Tiger? She looks like death on a stick. Didn't I tell you to be gentle?”

“Not my fault, boss. She's been like that, since she realized, that her great escape wasn't an escape after all.” Sebastian smirked at my brother, who let out a humourless laugh and reached a hand toward me.

“Come here, Ally-Bean. Your big brother is going to make it all better, don't you worry your pretty, little head.”

I still felt nothing, when I crawled on the bed and curled up in his open arms. I buried my head in the crook of his neck and put one arm around his trim waist, while the other was trapped between us. Goosebumps spread all over my body, when he ran his right hand down my arm, intertwining our fingers, while his left arm rested on my back, stroking it lightly. He let out a contended sigh, nuzzling my head with his nose and I could feel him smile against me.

“Am I correct in assuming, that you decided to let me take care of you again?” Instead of a verbal response, I just nodded and buried myself deeper into his warm body. “Very good, little one, very good. Sebastian, you can leave, for now.” The blonde nodded and without another word, he exited the room, closing the door behind him. James sat up, pulling me along, so that I was sitting on my knees, hands loosely resting in my lap. Playing with a strand of my damp hair, he looked at me expectantly, cocking his head.

“Don't you have something you would like to say to me?”

“I'm sorry for running away, Jamie. It was stupid and foolish and I will not do it again, I promise.” My voice sounded hoarse from disuse and I didn't look at him during my apology. He tilted my chin upwards with his finger, smiling lovingly at me. “I forgive you, darling. But I will make sure, that every punishment you had had will seem like child’s-play compared to what I will do to you, should you try to run away again. Are we clear?” The tone of his voice was gentle and sweet, the darkness in his bottomless eyes was not.

“Yes, Jamie, we're clear.” I whispered.

Leaning forward, I pressed my lips against his, my hands coming up to frame his face. He smiled against my skin and his tongue came out to trace the seams of mouth, coaxing me to open up. Replying immediately, our tongues started rubbing against each other, the kiss turning more urgent. One of his hands came up, to cup the back of my head, while the other started stroking my naked thigh. I moved, so that I was straddling his lap, grinding my hips against his. Coming up for breath, he looked at me like he was starving and I was the only meal for miles to come. I let out a gasp, as his hips pushed up and his zipper rubbed against my clit. My eyes fell shut at the feeling and alarm-bells went off in the back of my mind, trying to remind me why this wasn't something I should enjoy in any way. But I didn't care anymore, what was the point in fighting, when there was no way out? It would be so much easier to just give in, to just let my body feel the pleasure I knew he could give me. So that was what I did.

When his hands clamped down on my hips, pushing me down against his now hard cock, I let my head fall back, moaning loudly, while gripping at his arms. Growling darkly, he rolled us over, so that he was hovering above me and his mouth came crashing down against mine. The kiss was sloppy and wet, speaking of desperation and urgency and I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter by the minute. His mouth left mine, trailing open-mouthed kisses along my jaw and down my neck, my fingers tangling in his soft hair. My grip tightened, when he licked down my clavicle, nipping harshly at the thin skin and proceeded further downwards, sucking and biting at the top of my breasts. When his tongue started lapping at my nipples, I let out another moan, my hips coming up to grind against his, making him moan in return.

Sitting up, he divested himself of his blazer and button-up, ripping off a few of the buttons in his impatience. I ran my hands down his chest, lightly scraping over his pale skin with my fingernails, leaving thin, reddish marks in my wake. He shuddered and levelled me with an amused glare.

“If you don't stop that, this will all be over before it really started, my darling sister. Do I have to tie you up?” Heat rushed to my head and between my legs at that thought and he gave me a devilish grin. “Oh, I see how it is. You want your big brother to tie you up and have his wicked ways with you, don't you, you little minx?” He cooed at me, pinning my wrists above my head with one of his hands. The other trailed down my body, reaching the curly hair between my legs and slipping even further to my drenched opening. Gathering some of my juices, he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking them off of his finger. His eyes rolled back in his head and he let out a groan, relishing in the taste. Bucking my hips at the sight, I let out a whimper, making him look down on me with heat in his eyes. Tipping my nose with his wet finger, he stood up.

“Don't you go anywhere, I'll be right back!” He made his way over to the dresser, rummaging through one of the drawers. With a triumphant smile he came back, holding a long silken scarf in his hand. Taking both my wrist, he proceeded to tie them to the headboard. Satisfied with the results, he stood back up, unbuckling his belt and getting out of his pants. I watched him pull down his briefs, rubbing my legs together to ease the desire that surged through me as my eyes landed on his large cock. My mouth watered at the sight of it, the enlarged head was an angry red, pre-cum leaking from the tip.

He nestled between my spread legs again, rubbing his stiff member against my clit, making me writhe and moan on the bed. Arms on either side of my head, he leaned down to capture my lips in a searing kiss. I expected him to draw things out but instead he plunged into my waiting heat without any warning. We both let out a moan simultaneously, mine spiked with a bit of pain at his unprepared entry. He started to rock against me very slowly at first and the pain soon made place for the delicious feeling of his hot, velvety cock rubbing against my insides. His mouth descended on my breasts, sucking and biting at my hardened nipples as he picked up the pace considerably and started to slam himself in and out of me. He leaned back, grabbing my hips to keep me in place and accelerating his thrusts even more, panting heavily. I could already feel the beginnings of an orgasm and knew I couldn't hold out much longer. Feeling the grip of my cunt tightened around his cock, he brought a hand down to my clit, rubbing it furiously.

“Come for me, baby, let me feel your tight, little pussy milk the cum out of my cock!” He practically snarled at me, his movements becoming uncontrolled and jerky. Crying out his name, I let myself plunge over the edge and convulsed around him, milking his cock, just like he had told me to. My climax seemed to trigger his own, his back went rigid and he shouted my name, as I felt the spurts of semen shooting out of him and coating my insides. He continued to pump in and out of me in shallow thrust, riding out his orgasm, until he was all spent and slumped down beside me.

We just lay there for a moment, both encumbered in post-coital bliss, not wanting to move just yet. He turned on his side, so our eyes could meet and I could see the satisfaction shimmering in his dark orbs. Raising his hands, he untied the scarf from around my wrists, so I could finally move my arms down. My shoulders ached in an all too familiar way and I winced slightly at the pain. Instead of soothing me, like he usually did after he had tied me up, he just watched me rubbing the red marks around my wrists and rolling my shoulders to ease the stiffness. I gave him a curious look, when he suddenly got off of the bed and started gathering his clothes from the ground. When I started to get up, he held out a hand.

“No need to get up. You should save your strength for Tiger.” All the colour drained from my face and fear gripped me.

“W-what do you mean?” I stuttered, unable to comprehend what he was saying. He just gave me a disappointed look, tutting at me. “You didn't really think that opening your legs for me would mean everything is forgotten, did you? You still need to be punished for your behaviour, Ally-Bean. Tracking you all this time wasn't an easy task and I think Bastian more than earned his reward, wouldn't you agree?” I scrambled off the bed, sinking down to my knees in front of him.

“Please don't do this, Jamie, please! I'm sorry I ran away, I'll be a good girl from now on, I promise! Just please don't do this!” Begging and sobbing I reached out to him, but he sidestepped me and made his way to the door, opening it. It hadn't been locked this whole time and I didn't even notice it.

“Sorry, babygirl, but you know the rules. Try to get some rest, you're going to need it.” He winked at me and, still naked, left the room and closed the door. The green light on the keypad changed back to red and I cried even more, curling in on myself on the cold floor. Why in the world did I ever think, that giving in would make things easier? He just took my compliance and threw it in my face. No matter what I did, he would always win and he never got tired of shoving that fact in my face. There was nothing left, only fear and terror, choking me from the inside out.

I felt filthy and disgusted with myself, my fingernails scratching at my skin until it bleed. _'You need to shower, get his scent off of you!',_ my brain screamed at me and I stood up and stumbled into the bathroom. I got in the shower, turned on the water and sunk onto the tiled floor, rocking my body back and forth while the warm water mixed with my tears.

 


	9. Pain and Lessons: Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I kind of had a hard time writing this one, not sure why. I'm still not one-hundred-percent satisfied with the results, but it's as good as it's going to get, for now. Seeing, as this is a work in progress, I might be revisiting this and other chapters to rewrite things, but I will leave a note at the beginning if that might be the case. I'll leave y'all to it now, heed the tags and warnings and enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, just one more thing: I'm pretty much making this up as I go along, so if there are any suggestions for stuff you'd want me to include, leave a comment and I will take it into consideration!

I had been under the shower for a good long time, scrubbing myself nearly raw, but I still felt dirty. After toweling myself off, I went back into the bedroom and straight to the dresser. The collection before me, made me shiver in disgust. There weren't any pants or shirts, only different cut dresses that all ended well above the knee. But the underwear-drawer was worse. All it contained were small silky contraceptions one could barely describe as underwear. The green bra I picked hardly covered my nipples and the matching bottom was little more than a few strings of silk. “Still better than nothing”, I mumbled to myself, as I pulled out an a-line cut dress with tiny colorful flowers printed all over, the least revealing dress I could find. The dresser contained no shoes or even socks, not even tights, so I padded barefoot to the door, inspecting the keypad. Examining it for a few minutes, I came to the same conclusion I had gotten to from afar, I couldn't get out of here.

Going back to the bathroom, I raided the cabinets, looking for anything that might be of use to me, but I found nothing. Empty-handed I finally returned to the bed, sitting on the edge and letting my thoughts wander aimlessly. I knew Sebastian would come for me eventually, but for now I was safe. Or as safe as one can be, considering the circumstances. Then a thought struck me, the windows! Now, that I wasn't shackled to the bed anymore, I pulled aside the curtains, hoping to get a glimpse of where I was, but the windows seemed to be barricaded from the outside. There were no cracks or gaps through which light might pass. But it might as well mean, that it was night outside, so I just had to wait and see if there would be any changes. I rifled through the contents of the vanity, but again, I came up empty. Resuming my position on the bed, I delved into my mind, trying to come up with some sort of battle-plan.

It felt like hours had passed when I finally came out again, but there was no way to tell, how much time had gone by without the help of either a clock or being able to see the position of the sun. A scream ripped out of me and I shot up from the bed, when I saw Sebastian standing at the foot of the bed. His eyes seemed to be illuminated from the inside, shining with excitement and anticipation. My fight or flight instinct kicked in hard and noticing the open door I bolted towards it, hoping against hope, I could somehow mange to escape. I didn't get very far, when seemingly out of nowhere, his fist connected with my face and my nose broke with an audible crunch. The pain was so intense, that my knees buckled, sending me crashing to the ground.

As soon as I was lying on the floor, Sebastian kicked me, his boot connecting painfully with my ribs. The breath was knocked out of me and I curled in on myself in a vain attempt to protect my body from more harm. His next kick was even harder than the first and I felt one of my ribs crack. Screaming in anguish, I blindly tried crawling away from him, but I was stopped by a fist in my hair, hauling me to my feet.

“We're not finished yet, kitten. Boss' said I can do anything I want to you, as long as you're still alive after I'm done. And when I say anything, I mean **anything**!” He growled in my ear and then, to drive his point home, he licked across my face. I was already totally out of it, due to the searing pain in my side and face and as his word registered in my brain, I began to trash against his hold, screaming hysterically.

“NO! Let go of me, you sick bastard! LET GO!”

Loosing my footing as he released the grip on my locks, I stumbled backwards from the sudden change in momentum. Before I could regain my balance, his large hand clamped down on my biceps and he hauled me through the door and into a dimly lit hallway. Every step send a hot-sharp jolt through my body, emanating from my side. My left eye was nearly swollen shut and my vision was blurry from tears. I vaguely registered that the floor was covered by carpet, feeling soft under my bare feet. Sebastian didn't say a word, as he pulled me along until we reached a flight of stairs. The impact of my feet hitting the steps made the pain in my ribs almost unbearable and I cried and whimpered all the way down. It was considerably colder and darker down here, which could only mean, we were down in the cellar of the house.

Sebastian dragged me through a door, depositing me in the middle of a dark room. Letting go of my arm and grabbing both of my hands in one of his in an iron grip, he reached for something above my head. My brain was sluggish from all the pain and before I understood what he was doing, both my hands were cuffed and brought up over my head by a yank on the connecting rope. The blonde proceeded to pull, until my toes were barely touching the cold concrete. The pain from my suddenly stretched body had me nearly passing out and I was disoriented for a moment, fighting to keep conscious. I could hear Sebastian moving around and suddenly the room filled with harsh, white light, making me blink against the intensity of it. To my utmost horror, Sebastian took a bull-whip, that was mounted on the wall along with other torture implements, weighing it in his hand. Depositing it on a nearby metal tray, he then took a rather large, sharp-looking hunting knife and came towards me with a smirk. I tried to keep completely still, as he started trailing it over my cheek and down to my collarbone, scraping me lightly with the pointed tip.

Grabbing the top of my dress, he began to cut the material away from my body, the strips of fabric floating down to the floor. He wasn't careful in any way and soon I bleed from several small cuts and nicks, now only clad in the green lingerie I was wearing. Admiring his handiwork, he prodded at the small lacerations, smearing the blood over my breasts and stomach, grinning gleefully at my pained whimpers. He cut away the straps of the bra, reaching behind me to unclasp it and it joined the shredded dress on the floor. Stepping away, he put down the knife, picking up the whip again and positioning himself behind me.

“This is, how this is going to go, so listen up! We're going to start with twenty lashes, I want you to count and thank me for them out loud. If you forget to do so, or take too long, I will add ten more to the tally. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Whispering my answer, I braced myself for the impact. I knew it was pointless to beg him for mercy, he would only stop if he had satisfied his needs. Without further warning, the end of the whip came down on my back. A blood-curdling scream tore out of me and I felt my skin rip at the blow, warm blood trickling down my back.

“O-one, t-thank you” I sobbed, almost inaudible.

“Louder! And it's 'thank you, **Sir** '. Do it right the next time!” He bellowed at me and the whip came down again.

“TWO! Thank you, Sir!”

 

* * *

 

It went on like this until we reached number fifteen, at which point I passed out from the pain. He brought me back, by slapping me harshly in the face a few times. Groggily I opened my eyes and the pain came back in full force, making me writhe against my bonds in pure agony. My back felt as if it had been flayed, the burning was so intense, that I almost passed out again and my head slumped forwards.

“Oh no, you don't! I'm not finished with you, kitten. And I have just the thing to help you stay with me”, Sebastian pulled my head up by my hair, grinning maliciously at me. Still gripping my hair with one hand, he reached inside his pockets with the other and pulled out a small vial with a clear liquid inside. He let go of me and my head dropped down again. I was too exhausted to manage the strength to keep it upright. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Sebastian pulling out a medical-kit from one of the metal lockers that stood against the wall to my right. He opened it up and took out a syringe, filling it with the contents of the vial. Coming back, he stood before me, pulling my head up again and then stabbing the needle into my neck, pressing the plunger down all the way.

Fire spread through my veins and I cried out, trashing and writhing against my bonds. Whatever he injected me with, had to be some kind of stimulant, because my heart began to beat hard in my chest and a fine sheen of sweat started to cover me. Now that he had me fully alert again, he re-positioned himself behind me and continued with the whipping. He added another ten lashes, because I had dared to black out, which culminated to thirty lashes in total. The drugs he had injected me with, had heightened my senses and the pain that ravaged my body was beyond excruciating. I was only being upheld by the rope, that kept me hanging from the ceiling and the joints in my shoulders were about to pop out.

“Please, no more....” My voice was raw from screaming for so long and it sounded as broken as I felt. Sebastian pressed himself against the open wound, that had once been my back, making me scream out again. I hadn't realized, that he had shed his shirt at some point, but now his naked chest was pressed against my bloody backside and the contact was agonizing. The pressure amplified the pain even more and the small hairs on his chest felt like sandpaper. His hands came down on my hips and he ripped the panties I was still wearing off of me, letting the scraps fall to the ground.

I knew what was coming next and with renewed vigor, I tried wriggling away from him, sobbing and pleading for him to stop. The sound of his zipper opening put me in even more of a frenzy and I felt like I was losing my fucking mind. Without preamble, he thrust inside me, tearing me open with one swift move. I screamed against the feeling of being ripped apart from the inside until my voice gave out. He pulled out slowly, before ramming inside of me again, letting me feel every inch of his huge cock, the only lubricant the blood that trickled down my legs.

One of his hands was clamped down on my hipbone, sure to leave bruises and the other came up around my throat, loosely at first. With every hard thrust, he squeezed harder, cutting of my breathing until dark spots danced along the edges of my vision. His hand left my throat again, coming down on my other hipbone and I coughed hard, as I greedily gulped in much needed oxygen. My body couldn't handle the pain anymore, but the drugs kept me from taking refuge in the sweet nothingness of unconsciousness. The agonizing pain that set my body on fire was to much for my brain and my mind just shut itself down, unable to process it anymore. He noticed the state I was in and after pushing into me a few more times, he buried himself deep inside of me, bringing his head close to mine.

“You look a bit bored, sweetheart, maybe I should step up my game and fuck your tight little ass instead?” He panted in my ear, his cock twitching inside of me at the thought. Even if I wanted to, I wasn't able to react, my throat felt raw and swollen and I could only let out a whimper in response. He pulled out of me and I could hear him draw up his pants and walk to the wall behind us. Suddenly the pressure on my shoulders was gone and not being able to brake my fall, my forehead cracked against the concrete floor. I felt the skin break at the impact and blood dribbled down the right side of my face and onto the floor.

Unable to move I just lay on the ground, bleeding and panting. Sebastian appeared in my field of vision and he brought me to my knees with a fist in my hair, pulling me upright. Without a word, he opened his zipper and pulled out his still hard cock, rubbing it against my cheek and lips, smearing his pre-cum and the blood that it was still coated with over my face.

“Look what you did, kitten. Making my dick all dirty like that. Guess you just have to lick it all clean again. Open up!”

He pressed the tip against my lips and I obediently opened my mouth, just wanting it all to be over and done with. His hips surged forward, pushing himself inside my mouth to the hilt, my nose pressed against his pelvis, cutting off my breathing once again. Lifting my hands was too much of an effort and my nails scraped along the floor for some sort of leverage. Groaning in ecstasy, he started pumping in and out of my mouth after a while and all I could do was take it. My jaw hurt from being forced open, saliva and blood ran down my chin, dripping down onto my chest. With every inwards thrust, he hit the back of my throat, making me gag around him, which going by his moans spurred him on even more. His pace quickened and I felt him growing even bigger, pulsating against my tongue. I knew he had to be close and I prepared myself for the inevitable load that was sure to spill down my throat soon. But at the last moment he pulled out again, spraying my face and chest with hot bursts of his semen, moaning loudly. He let go of my hair and I slumped back down, closing my eyes and drowning in desperation.

There was clapping coming from the open door and I heard footsteps moving closer.

“Well done, Tiger. That was quite a show you gave, I'm impressed. Now, why don't you take her back to her room and clean our little troublemaker up, I'm sure she would like to take a nap.” My brothers voice echoed through the room, sounding pleased with himself.

“Sure thing, boss. And thanks again for my present, Really enjoyed it.” Sebastian picked my limp form up, cradling me in his arms like an over-grown child. I still had my eyes closed and whimpered in pain, as his arms connected painfully with my back. A hand brushed away the sweaty, bloodied strands of hair clinging to my forehead and I felt warm, minty breath fanning against my ear.

“I hope you learned you lesson today, Ally-Bean.” My brother kissed the top of my head and his right hand man began walking us out of the room. The effects of the drugs were waning and I was physically and mentally exhausted to the point of almost passing out again.

My head jerked up, when lukewarm water was suddenly poured down my back, making me cry out, grabbing at the edges of the tub. How did I get in here? I didn't even remember being carried up the stairs, I must've lost consciousness for a few minutes. Sebastian chuckled from besides me, carefully running a wet wash-cloth over my back

“Welcome back, kitten. I was beginning to worry, you had left the party already. Would've been a shame though.” I whimpered at the feeling of the fluffy cotton rubbing against the open welts and he made soft shushing noises, gently rubbing my left arm. I shivered at the feeling of wrongness his tender demeanor evoked after everything he did to me earlier. Letting my head hang, my hair falling and covering my face, I watched the streams of pink water travelling towards and down the drain. Dizziness made my head spin and my stomach lurch uncomfortably. I grabbed the edges of the tub tighter, trying to keep myself grounded. Another wave of vertigo hit me, followed by a high-pitched sound in my ears and then darkness.

When I came to again, I was laying on my stomach across the bed, with Sebastian kneeling beside me. He seemed to just be finished with bandaging me up, packing the leftover bandages back into the first-aid-kit by his side. A smile appeared on his face, when he noticed that I had woken up again.

“I left you a little something for the pain on the bedside table. Get some sleep if you can, I'm gonna come back tomorrow to change your bandages. G'night, kitten.” He winked at me and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Tears ran down my face and into the pillow and I sobbed silently for a long while, all that had happened today replaying itself in my mind, over and over again. Tendrils of despair, thick and sticky, enveloped me, pulling me under, suffocating me. I closed my eyes, willing it all away, wishing for someone to get me out of this nightmare. Feeling broken in both mind and body, I let myself drift away, begging for a reprieve from all of this and hoping, that I would dream of something nice, if I had to dream at all.

 


	10. Show and Tell

_The sun stood bright against the blue sky, reflecting on the clear, turquoise-colored water of the ocean before me. Feeling the soft white sand between my toes, I closed my eyes in quiet delight, letting the warm breeze flow over my face and body. Over the sounds of the breaking waves, I could hear seagulls squawking in the distance and a feeling of peace washed through me. I opened my eyes and walked towards the ocean, my bare feet soon covered in the lukewarm water and the soft waves lapping at my shins._

_Walking further away from the shore until I was immersed to the hips, I watched in fascination, when I could see small, colourful fishes swim around my legs. Just as I was about to lean closer to get a better look, I heard a familiar deep baritone calling out my name. I tried turning towards the shore, but I wasn't able to lift my feet anymore. Looking down I saw that tendrils of algae were coming out of the sea-bed, they wrapped themselves tightly around my calves and proceeded to climb up my legs. Panicked, I tried to get rid off the twines, but they were unrelenting and I couldn't get my fingers under them to pull them off. My name was called again and I turned my head towards the voice, seeing Sherlock standing at the edge of the water, waving and shouting. No sound left my mouth, when I tried to call out for him to help me. Petrified I grabbed at my throat, screaming with everything I had, but no noise came forward. The ground beneath me seemed to soften up and I began sinking, the water already reaching my ribs. My arms flailed through the water, searching for leverage, my mouth opened in a silent cry for help. There was splashing behind me and I could faintly hear Sherlock shouting to me, telling me to hold on. Twisting my body, I could see him drawing closer, the rising water slowing him down heavily._

_A wave washed over me and I inadvertently inhaled some water, making me cough and sputter. Only my head and shoulders weren't immersed fully at this point, but I hadn't_ _stopped sinking and soon the water reached up to my collar. Trying to keep my head over-water, I craned my neck and looked for Sherlock. He was close now and I could see the scared look in his eyes, as he fought his way towards me. Just as his outstretched hands grazed my fingertips, I was pulled under the surface, air bubbling above my head as I opened my mouth in a scream. Through the clear water I could distortedly see him looking down on me, wearing a resignated expression and then turning away. I tried swimming back up, but my body refused to function, just sinking down like a dead-weight, the water turning darker and darker around me. Suddenly my feet hit solid ground, my arms were jerked up above my head and fire spread from my shoulder down my whole back._

 

I jerked awake with a scream, immediately slumping back against the mattress because of the pain that ripped through me at the movement. My whole body felt like it was on fire, but especially my shoulders and back, which explained the end of my dream. Sherlock... Tears filled my eyes, as the remnants of my dream replayed inside my head. Even in my dreams he wasn't able to reach me, I thought bitterly. Carefully rolling onto my side, suppressing my groans, the night-stand came into view. On it was a tray filled with a covered bowl, a bottle of water and a package of salted crackers. Someone had been in here when I was out cold and it send a shiver down my spine, thinking about how vulnerable I had been. There were two white pills laying next to the tray and I remembered Sebastian saying he would leave me something for the pain. I inched closer to the table and was able to grab the pills and the bottled water, with only a moderate amount of discomfort.

Popping the pills in my mouth and swallowing them down with some of the water, I slumped back against the pillows. This little bit of exercise had already exhausted me and I closed my eyes against the fatigue that overtook me. I didn't want to fall asleep again, it made me feel too exposed, so I sat back up, inspecting the covered bowl. It contained some sort of vegetable soup, still warm, which meant it couldn't have stood there for long. Of course there was no cutlery, lest I tried to remove their eyes with a spoon, I assumed. The thought made me chuckle humourlessly.

Even if I had a knife, there was no way I could overwhelm either Sebastian or my brother. Shrugging, I put the bowl against my lips and gulped down the warm broth greedily. I didn't know, when I had eaten the last time, being drugged constantly certainly didn't help in determining, for how long I had already been here. Putting the now empty bowl down, I turned towards the window, searching for any indication of light coming through them, but I saw nothing. Seemed like my original assessment had been correct and the windows were to neatly blocked from the outside to let any light in. That clever little shit, not only did he arrange it so that I couldn't tell if it was day or night but he could also knock me out with whatever gas had been coming out of the air-vents the other time, making it impossible for me to regain any sense of time. I had to admit, it was rather brilliant. Access to daylight was sure to become a form of reward for supposedly good behaviour, it just seemed like something he would do.

The medication began kicking in, dulling the the pain in my back and shoulders to a faint throbbing. I felt sticky between my legs and when I pulled down the covers, I noticed that my thighs were coated in blood. I simply got up and stumbled on shaky legs to the bathroom, I couldn't take a shower, due to the bandages covering my back, so I opted for cleaning myself with a wet towel instead. Fortunately I found feminine hygiene products in one of the cabinets and I took one of the sanitary towels to put between my legs. It would've been great, if there were any panties, that didn't look like dental-floss, to secure the pad more efficiently. No such luck, it seemed.

Then I noticed a bag sitting by the door and upon further inspection it revealed not only sensible underwear, but also a pair of sweatpants, an over-sized shirt and a few books. Apparently I had earned myself a reward, all it took was a little torture and rape to get me the privilege of being dressed more comfortably, it seemed. Lucky me. The books were all collections of myths and fairy-tales from around the world and I grabbed one about Greek mythology and returned to the bed. The mattress had a large blood-stain on one side, so I took the other side of the bed, laying down on my stomach and opening the book. I tried reading for a couple of minutes, but my thoughts drifted back to my dream and after reading the same page over and over again, I gave up and closed the book. Laying my head on my arms, I stared at the headboard, thinking about Sherlock and wondering if he was looking for me. If anyone could find me, it would be him, of that I was sure. But I also knew, that James would move heaven and hell to keep me by his side and under his control. I wondered why he hadn't brought up the consulting detective, as he always proclaimed he didn't like other people touching what was his and I was certain that he knew what had played out in the lab, right before Molly drugged me and Sebastian came to collect me. He had been unnaturally silent about all of this and it worried me.

 

* * *

 

“Rise and shine, little sister!” My brothers cheery voice startled me awake, I must've fallen asleep at some point during my reverie. Groaning in discomfort, I closed my eyes again, willing him to go away and leave me alone. The duvet was ripped off of me and I shivered in the sudden coldness.

“Get up, Ally-Bean, we have work to do and I can't have you lying around all day, feeling sorry for yourself.”

I was still half asleep and narrowed my eyes at him, as I sat up painfully slow.

“In case you have forgotten, brother dearest, I had a good whipping yesterday and my cunt was ripped apart by your pet-soldier. So excuse me, for needing all the rest I can get.” My voice dripped with sarcasm and something dark flitted across my brothers face.

“Still not a morning person, I see. Maybe you wouldn't be in such agony, if you would've just stayed with me instead of running away. I don't need to punish you, when you do as you're told. Try and keep that in mind.” I still wasn't fully awake and neither was the filter between my brain and my mouth, apparently.

“Oh, god forbid I try to rid myself of my psychotic brother and his demented boyfriend, who continuously made my life hell for years. Why ever would I do such a thing?” It slowly registered who I was shouting at and I clapped a hand over my mouth, keeping myself from voicing anymore of my opinions. Cowering down on the bed, expecting a blow for my inordinate outburst, I was surprised to hear him laughing out loud and clapping his hands.

“I admire your spark, Ally. I was afraid we had finally broken you, but it appears you have plenty of fight left. Good for you, you're going to need it.” His voice turned serious at the last sentence, making me perk up and narrow my eyes at him in suspicion.

“Don't look at me like that. And now get up, I'm getting rather tired of your dwaddling.” He admonished me and shooed me out of the bed and into the bathroom. Mumbling something intelligible under my breath, I closed the door in his face and went about my morning routine. Going to the toilet proofed to be more uncomfortable than anticipated, as soon as urine trickled out of me and came into contact with my torn opening, I hissed out in pain. It burned like hell and I carefully wiped myself with toilet-paper. At least I wasn't bleeding anymore, but I knew from experience, that it was going to take a few days, until I would be able to do my business without discomfort.

Exchanging the dirty sanitary towel for a fresh one, I proceeded to splash some cold water in my face and stared at my pale visage in the mirror. I looked like shit, my hair was matted and in knots and my face was swollen and tender. A large purple bruise sat right under my left eye and I prodded carefully at it, wincing in pain. At least my nose wasn't broken, like I had thought but it still hurt like a bitch. Not as much as other parts of my body, but still bad enough. Despite the pain, I was glad to still be alive. As long as I was still standing, there was hope, however slim it may be. It was tempting to just give up again, like I had done when I first arrived here, but I vowed to myself not to let that happen again. In the harsh light of day, or lack thereof, my momentary lapse of self-preservation disturbed me even more than my visible injuries. It had been far too easy to give in and let the desperation about my circumstances overwhelm me to the point of giving up. I couldn't let that happen again.

Steeling myself I walked out of the en-suite and right into my brothers arms. He enclosed me in a hug, deliberately putting pressure on my sore back and I tried not to show how much it hurt.

“We have big plans for today, Ally-Bean. You're going to love what I have prepared for you, just you wait.” His breath tickled against my cheek and he patted me on the back. I couldn't suppress the pained gasp that escaped my lips and I felt him smirking against my head, as he pressed a kiss on my brow, before letting go of me. Meeting my eyes with a bright smile, he grabbed my hand in his own and led us out of the room.

This time, I was able to take in my surroundings, noticing the plush, beige carpet covering the hallway and the cream-coloured wallpaper adorning the walls. Grey light filtered trough the large windows and I craned my neck to get a good look at the outside. Unfortunately there wasn't much to see, giving me no indications of where we might be. A small backyard with a few bleak-looking bushes and the edges of a forest in the distance, were the only clues. Heavy clouds covered the sky and it was hard to tell, if it was early in the morning or late in the afternoon. Nonetheless, I took everything in and saved it on my hard-drive for further examination, while my brother pulled me along.

When we reached the stairs, I came to an abrupt standstill, my heart beating frantically in my chest. My feet refused to move forward, memories of the day before assaulting me, making me pull against my brothers hold. Logically I knew that he wouldn't take me down there for another beating, but my panic-addled brain wanted to flee the scene, consequences be damned. Someone grabbed my shoulders and my brothers face appeared before me, brows furrowed in concern.

“Calm down, baby-girl! We're just going down there to shoot a little movie for your friends, no-ones going to hurt you, I promise.”

“What?” I croaked, not sure I had heard him correctly. He let go of my shoulders and cupped my face in his hands, gently rubbing his thumbs across my cheekbones and chuckling.

“I'll show you, but you have to follow me downstairs, can you do that for me?”

I felt like I was going to be sick, but I had to know, what he had planned and to be honest my curiosity had calmed me down a bit. Wordlessly I pulled away and walked down the stairs, stopping at a closed metal door, which I knew led into the room Sebastian had had his fun with me the day before. Reaching around me, James knocked on it, sending me a flirtatious wink. Averting my gaze, I stubbornly ignored him. The door was opened widely and a grinning Sebastian stood before us, looking happy to see me. His eyes inspected the damage to my face and his grin widened even more.

“Good morning, kitten, you look beautiful as always. Did you sleep well?” He mocked me, bowing down slightly to offer me entrance into the room. Curling my upper lip in disgust I brushed past him, not giving him the satisfaction of a verbal response. The two men quietly talking behind me faded into the background, as my eyes captured the room before me. I wasn't really in the mindset to take it in yesterday, but I was pretty sure, that I would have noticed the camera, mounted on a tripod, facing the spot I had been hanging from. A bad feeling settled in my stomach, James had said something about shooting a movie for my friends and I was afraid to find out, what exactly he was intending on filming.

Turned out, I didn't have to wait long for the answer. He instructed me to take off my clothes, shooting me a dark look when I didn't immediately comply, threatening to let Sebastian help me if I didn't get on with it already. I quickly wriggled out of the shirt and sweatpants and at my brothers raised eyebrow I took off my panties too. Satisfied for the moment he turned away, waliking over to a desk in the corner, fiddling with a laptop, while Sebastian proceeded to once again bind my wrists above my head, letting me hang from the ceiling. The panic was back, worse than before and I was whimpering in fear of what was to come. I screamed out loud, when Sebastian roughly ripped off the bandages on my back, opening up some of the wounds again. So much for 'no-ones going to hurt you'. My brother gave him the thumbs up and positioned himself in front of the camera, obscuring the view of me hanging in the ropes and bleeding on the floor.

“Welcome my darlings! I'm sure you're wondering, why I called this little meeting. Well, it came to my attention, that some of you are trying very hard to find my sweet, little sister, causing all kinds of trouble for my business. As you can imagine, I don't like that one bit, so I thought, what better way to show you the consequences of your meddling by giving you a little demonstration.” He stepped to the side, nodding at Sebastian. I was turned around, so my back was facing the camera, showing off the blood trickling down my spine. The sniper brought up his hand, smearing the blood over my ass and giving me a playful slap. I screamed again, as he let his hand wander further down, inserting a finger into my abused pussy and started to pump in and out of me. Feeling myself tearing again and fresh blood running down my legs, I sobbed, begging him to stop, my resolve from earlier faltering under the agony of his intrusion. He pulled his finger out of me, turning me around again and shoving it into my mouth. The mix of blood and my own tangy flavour made me gag and he removed his finger with a chuckle, stepping aside. My brother stood beside me suddenly, gripping my hair and bringing my face up, directing it towards the camera.

“See what you made me do? It's only going to get worse for her, if you don't back off. If you care for her at all, you're going to stop messing with my business or this little live-stream will become a regular thing. She is mine and no-one is going to take her from me. This means you especially, Sherlock, my dear. Don't think I haven't noticed you pawing at my little sister and even having the audacity to put your filthy mouth on her. She is the one that's going to suffer for your actions, so you better tread carefully from now on.” Tightening his grip on my hair, he hissed at me “Say hello to your friends, Ally.” Refusing to comply with his request, I closed my eyes and shook my head. Letting go of my hair, he slapped me hard across the face, gripping my chin in his hand afterwards.

“You better do as I say, or I'm just going to leave you here for a some more playtime with Tiger.” His voice was nothing more than an angry growl but he got his point across perfectly. The prospect of another session with the crazy ex-soldier was enough to make me follow his order.

“H-Hello.” My voice was thick with unshed tears and I wasn't sure, I could even be heard. But it seemed my brother was satisfied and his mouth crashed down against mine in a bruising kiss. His grasp on my chin didn't let up and I couldn't turn my head away to escape his onslaught. The other hand, not holding my face, came up to painfully pinch my nipples and he swallowed my screams with his mouth, plunging his tongue inside. My stomach churned with the knowledge, that Sherlock was watching this, not even mentioning John, and I assumed James had arranged it, so that Mycroft was privy to this demonstration, too. Finally letting go of me, he stalked towards the camera waving his goodbye and shutting it off.

Sebastian released me from my bonds and threw me over his shoulder, knocking the breath out of my lungs. He carried me out of the room and further down the dimly lit hallway and into another room, which looked like an infirmary, depositing me on an examination table. Without a word, he cleaned and patched me up again, giving me another pair of sweatpants, panties and a fresh shirt, after he was finished. Urging me to follow him with a jerk of his head, he led me to yet another room and pushed me inside. Stumbling forward, I twirled around at the sound of the door banging shut. Hammering my fists against the cold metal, I began screaming for him to let me out, noticing the lack of a doorknob on the inside. I rested my head against the door in exhaustion before turning around and inspecting my new quarters. A small cot with a thin, woollen blanket and a flat pillow stood on one side of the small room, a sink and a toilet on the other.

Everything was covered with a thin layer of grime, intensifying the feeling of being in a prison-cell even more. The walls were bare concrete as was the floor and I wrapped my arms around myself to try and keep warm. The fluorescent tube above me flickered a few times and looking up at it, I noticed a security camera mounted on the ceiling, directed at me. When I moved towards the bed, the camera moved as well, letting me know, that I would be under surveillance every minute of the day. Fan-bloody-tastic. I sat down on the edge of the cot, wincing at the renewed pain between my legs and rubbing my face with both of my hands. I wondered idly, if Sherlock would stop looking for me now, after my brothers demonstration. It felt good to know, that someone out there was trying to rescue me, but to be honest, I didn't believe anything would come out of it. My brother was far to clever to let anyone get close enough and unless he slipped up somehow, nobody would be coming for me any time soon. Staring blankly at the walls, I let my mind wander into dangerous territory, imagining what it would be like to strangle the life out of my brother. My hands turned into fists at that thought, a dark smile appearing on my lips. It would be wonderful to crush his throat with my bare hands, listening to his dying breaths and watching the manic light in his eyes going out. Closing my own eyes, I hummed to myself, relishing in the vivid images my mind conjured up.

The door flew open with a bang and my brother strode in confidently, levelling said manic eyes at me. Speaking of the devil, I thought with a sigh. Looking at him expectantly, I waited for his gloating. Brilliant as he was, he was also predictable in his behaviour, when it came to a plan well executed. And sure enough, he stopped in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets, grinning like the proverbial cat that had gotten the cream.

“That went pretty well, don't you think? You should've seen the look on Sherlys face, when he saw you all bloodied up and screaming. It was delicious. I recorded it of course, maybe I'll show it to you sometime.” He grinned even brighter at that thought, looking all proud and happy. I gave him a tight-lipped smile in return, but refrained from saying something. The grin fell from his face and was replaced by a blank mask, his almost black eyes burning into mine.

“Do you love him?” He asked in a dangerously low voice, watching me intently for any sort of reaction. I flinched at his question, feeling what little colour I had left, draining from my face. Shit, this wasn't good! If he thought I was in love with Sherlock, there was no way to tell what he was going to do. I decided on playing along, knowing what he really wanted to hear.

“Of course not! Why would you even have to ask that? You're the only one worthy of my love, you know that!” Even I could hear how unconvincing that sounded and James took a menacing step towards me, anger etched across his face.

“Don't lie to me, you little whore! I'm going to ask one more time. DO.YOU.LOVE.HIM?”

Cowering away from him, as he screamed the last part at me, I frantically tried to think of something to say that wouldn't aggravate him further. Before I could come up with a response, he lunged forward, grabbing me by the throat and started squeezing. My hands clawed at his fingers, trying to pry them off and my eyes watered from the pressure and lack of air. Intensifying his grip for a moment, he let go of me and I doubled over, coughing loudly, tears streaming down my face.

Looking up at him from behind a curtain of my hair I decided to answer him honestly in a raspy voice.

“No, I don't love him. But I might have grown to love him, if I had been able to stay.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked and the look in his eyes was outright murderous, as my admission sunk in. He leaned closer and I clumsily scrabbled backwards on the mattress to get away from him, my back hitting the wall behind me. I forgot about the pain that flared up at the contact, as he climbed on top of me, caging me in with his arms and straddling my hips.

“Do you remember what I told you the first night you were back? How I wanted to make you scream and beg for mercy while I fuck you?” Terrified I pressed myself closer to the wall, eliciting a sinister grin from him.

“You do remember, very good. Maybe it's time for me to make good on my promise. Can't let Tiger have all the fun now, can I?” His right hand ran along my side, scooping up my shirt on its way, exposing the soft skin of my stomach to the cool air. My own hands came up to push him away but he just brushed them off, his left hand closing around my throat again giving it a warning squeeze.

I stilled my attempts at stopping him and started crying instead.

“Jamie, please stop! Everything hurts down there, please don't make it worse, I beg you!” I choked the words out, already begging for mercy before it even really began. He just shushed me and pulled the shirt over my head in one swift move, leaving me bare before his eyes. His hands ran over the little cuts and scrapes that were left behind from my clothes being cut off, before he lowered his head to my breasts and sucked one of my nipples into his hot mouth. I whimpered as the feeling of his wet tongue triggered a wave of arousal, making me clench around nothing. Still sore from Sebastians treatment, it felt painful and the dull throbbing intensified. Even so, I felt myself getting wet, the conditioned reaction was impossible to suppress and once again I was horrified that my body so willingly gave in, when it came to my brother. Pain shot through me, as he bit down hard, drawing blood. I instinctively pushed at his head and he released my abused and bleeding bud from his mouth. Getting off of me, he pulled my pants with him, leaving me fully naked under his heated gaze.

“On your knees, hands on the headboard”, he barked at me. I hurriedly complied, positioning myself the way he wanted me to. My knuckles turned white with the force of my hands gripping at the cold, metal frame and silent tears fell down my face and onto the pillow. This would hurt very badly and I tried to steel myself for the pain. Instead of entering me straight-away, he kneeled down behind me, cupping my sex with his hand, rubbing a thumb over my clit to produce more lubrication. My hips bucked involuntarily and I hissed in discomfort at his ministrations, that reinforced the painful throb between my legs.

The sound of his zipper echoed loudly in the room, it was the only warning I got, before the blunt head of his cock nudged against my entrance. I howled, when he slowly entered me, sheating himself deep inside my abused passage. The pain was overwhelming and I felt myself tear again, a mixture of blood and my own juices running down my legs. He fisted his hand in my hair, making me arch my back painfully, as his hips pumped in and out of me in a steady rhythm, his other hand delivering sharp blows to my ass with every inward thrust. I was screaming and sobbing, begging him to stop, just like he had promised he would make me do. His pace quickened in response and it felt like an eternity, before his hips began to stutter and he came deep inside of me, making me almost pass out from the overwhelming agony. When he disconnected our bodies, I sagged down on the mattress, making myself as small as possible.

The pain in my back paled in comparison to the pain emanating from my lower abdomen. It felt like I had been fucked with shards of glass, that had ripped me open. Without another word, my brother stood up, tucked himself in and left the room. I felt dizzy and disoriented and fought to keep conscious, afraid he might come back when I was passed out, but my body refused to listen and I fell into darkness.

 


	11. Old Feelings and New Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the chapter a bit, so it would fit more with the new narrative. The changes are just at the beginning of the chapter and it's just a few sentences.

 

It had been ten days, since my last encounter with my brother. The marks on my back were slowly healing and the initial pain had dulled into a faint throbbing and pulling. The swelling in my face had gone down and even the injuries between my legs were getting better everyday. James hadn't been back and the only human contact I had was with Sebastian, who diligently took care of my wounds, never uttering a single word to me. I was only allowed to leave my cell to take a shower in a small, tiled room every three days.

He brought me food twice a day, which helped in determining how long I had been locked away in here. Now that I wasn't in pain all the time anymore, I was bored like hell and desperately tried to occupy myself with pacing around the confined space for hours on end. There was nothing else to do, really, and it drove me slowly insane. I would never admit it, but I was almost looking forward to Sebastians visits, short and silent as they may be. At least it managed to break up the suffocating loneliness I was feeling. I tried talking to him a few times, but he would just look at me blankly and continue on with his task. The more days passed like this, the more I felt like loosing my mind. I started talking to myself, mumbling under my breath, screaming at the camera, when it all got too much.

I felt like a wild animal trapped in a cage and it got worse and worse each day. Being alone wasn't something new, I could handle that, but normally there would be something I could distract myself with, like reading a book or watching a movie. Here I had nothing but my own thoughts to keep me company and that was a dangerous thing indeed. The more time I was alone with my mind, unable to divert my attention to something else, the more I started spinning in circles inside my head. The hopelessness of the whole situation I found myself in, was weighing heavily on me, chipping away at my state of mind bit by bit and after the first few days, I started hearing voices inside my head. At first I ignored them, but they became more and more insistent as time went on. It seemed as if my mind was turning on me, tantalizing me with my deepest fears and doubts about myself. Did I really abhor my brother for what he was doing to me? Or was it all my fault after all? If I would just admit to myself, that I only rebelled, because I refused to accept that I was just like my brother, everything would be okay. Did my body not enjoy his touch? Why was my mind fighting what my body already knew? I belonged with him, no one else would ever understand. On and on it went, from the moment I woke, till I fell asleep from exhaustion.

I had started scratching at the skin on my arms, whenever my thoughts became to much to bear and now they were covered in angry red marks, from my wrist up to my shoulders. When the two-week-mark passed, I had had enough. I couldn't go on like this or soon, there would be nothing left of me. So I stood myself directly under the security-camera, looking up at it.

 

“Jamie? Please let me out of here? I promise I will be good and do everything you want, just please, please let me out! I can't take it anymore, I'm loosing my mind in here! Please let me out!” Sobs racked my body while I pleaded and I crumbled to the ground, hugging myself tightly against the feeling of coming apart at the seams. I lay on the dirty floor, not even feeling the cold anymore, drowning in my misery and unable to get up again. There was no point to it anyway, I might as well just stay on the ground and slowly waste away.

I was so lost in my desperation, that I didn't notice someone entering the room, until a pair of shiny, black loafers came into view. Looking up, I recognized my brother and I flung myself off the ground and into his arms, clinging to him like I was afraid he would disappear again. I burrowed my head in his chest, babbling incoherent nonsense and crying like a baby. His arms came around me, enveloping me in a tight hug and he soothed me by mumbling sweet nothings in my ear and stroking my head. After a while I had calmed down enough, to lift my head from his chest and look at his face with hopeful eyes.

“Please take me with you, Jamie. I can't stand being here anymore”, I pleaded with a quivering voice. He smiled and kissed me softly on the forehead, extracting himself from my deadly grip and taking my hand in his.

“Of course, sweetheart. Come, we will go upstairs and I will draw you a nice, hot bath, just the way you like it.”

Relief flooded my body as he tugged me out of the room by my hand and we made our way upstairs. I expected him to take me back to the room I had been in at the beginning, but he pulled me further down the hallway and through a set of double-doors that led into a brightly-lit, wide foyer. After seeing nothing but dirty concrete for so long, I was awestruck at the sight before me. The polished marble floor reflected the light of the large, golden chandelier that twinkled with intricate crystals, which broke the light into beautifully, rainbow-coloured specks dancing over the dark, wooden walls. The furniture was tasteful and elegant and white marble colums separated the entryway from the wide stairwell leading upstairs. Pots of plants were placed in every corner and the whole atmosphere exuded wealth and power.

It was so very _James_ , that I couldn't help but smile like an idiot. He chuckled while he led us to the stairs, smiling fondly at me. I was so starved for human contact, that I soaked up his smile like a plant in the desert after a sudden rainfall. We made our way up the stairs and turned left into another hallway that ended in a double-winged door. He opened it and led me inside a large bedroom with the same dark, wooden panelling and a plush forrest-green carpet. A large four-poster bed with an equally green canopy dominated the room, but my gaze was drawn to the fireplace opposite of the bed, more specifically to the large painting that rested above. Dumbfounded I stared at it, unable to comprehend what I was seeing. My own eyes were staring back at me, a contented smile playing across my lips, the expression on my face captured perfectly by the artist. James wound his arms around my waist from behind and laid his head on my shoulder.

“Do you like it? I started painting it, shortly after you left, it took me forever to get it right”, he whispered in my ear.

“You made this?” Surprised I turned around, catching the hesitant look in his eyes before they turned emotionless again. I was even more confused now, he seemed to be scared of my opinion, which didn't make any sense to me. Shrugging he averted his eyes and put his hands in his pockets. This sudden insecurity from my all-powerful brother tugged at a string deep inside my chest and touching his cheek with my hand, I turned his head up so he would look at me.

“It's beautiful, Jamie. But I don't understand..” I gestured helplessly at the painting, trying to convey my confusion. His eyes lit up at my approval of his artistic prowess and he took my hand off his face, pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

“I made it, because I missed you. We had never been apart for more than a few days before and I was going crazy without your company. I wanted you to return on your own, to realize, that you would not find happiness without me by your side. So as a substitute I made this, imagining the same look on your face, when you would come back, looking at it every time before I went to sleep. Alas you didn't come back and I had to take matters into my own hand once again. You know the rest.” He smiled at me sheepishly and I could see the hurt in his eyes. It brought tears to my own, despite his horrifying treatment of me, he was still my brother and I couldn't help the fondness warming me from within at his admission.

“Did you ever consider, that I might not have left, if you would have treated me better?” Holding up my hand to stop his protest, I continued, my voice thick with unshed tears, “you hurt me, so many, many times, both physically and emotionally and still I can't help myself loving you, just as deeply as I did when we were kids. And that is, what hurts the most. Not the beating or the torture, not even Sebastian forcing himself on me, but you, throwing that love back in my face and making me suffer for it. I don't care how many people have been killed on your behest or that you are a megalomaniac crime-lord, wanting to throw the world into chaos. All I want is for you to love me back and show it to me, not by having me beat up but by being there for me, like you did when we were young.”

I was crying openly by now, the words pouring out of my mouth, almost against my will. Giving him this sort of leverage over me was dangerous and foolish, but I just couldn't help myself. It was what had been running through my mind on a constant loop, while I was locked inside that dreadful cell in the basement. Deep down I knew, that it was wrong of me to feel this way towards him, that my love for him was as sick and twisted as our whole relationship, but there was nothing I could do against it. I was pressed against a firm chest, hands idly stroking up and down my spine and over the back of my head.

“I'm sorry, Ally-Bean, truly I am. I love you, more than you can ever imagine and it scares me. You have more power over me than you realise and it makes me lash out in the worst possible ways. I can't fight the urge to hurt you, to make you feel what I feel, to make you understand what you do to me. I know you don't believe me, but I do it because I love you, not in spite of it. I would burn the whole world to the ground for you, if you asked me to.” His confession made me look up at him and I saw the genuine tears in his eyes, his face open and vulnerable. Without thinking about it, I pressed my lips against his, tangling my fingers in his black hair to pull him closer.

Seemingly surprised, he didn't kiss me back at first, but soon his lips danced with mine in a sweet embrace, that made my heart beat faster. He broke the kiss first, resting his forehead against mine, catching his breath. My hands rested on his shoulders, clinging tightly to his dress-shirt and I let out a soft sigh. He lifted his head and looked into my eyes with a fierce expression on his beautiful face.

“I can't promise you, that I will never hurt you again. But I swear to you, that I will try my best to protect you from myself from now on. I just need you to promise me something in return”, he looked at me expectantly and I nodded, “promise me, that you will never try to leave me again and that you will try and follow my commands, even if it seems like I'm asking too much of you. Can you do that for me?” His voice sounded uncertain and his eyes were wide, the black orbs absorbing all the light, pulling me in.

“I promise, Jamie”, I smiled softly, sincerity lacing my words. He visibly relaxed and pressed another kiss to my lips, light as a feather.

“Now, how about that bath I talked about?” Winking at me, he put his arm around my shoulders and led me to the adjoining bathroom. Letting go of me, he went over to the enormous bathtub and I was left to let my gaze wander around the luxurious space. The white marble tiles stood in stark contrast to the dark furniture in the bedroom and besides the family-sized tub, there was an equally sized shower with milky glass-walls, an array of interesting looking jets protruding from the tiled walls inside. Over a long, marble counter with two sinks hung a huge mirror with little, round lights embedded in the golden frame. A large, fluffy rug was laid out in the middle of the room and I curled my toes into the soft fibres, closing my eyes at the feeling.

The scent of lavender filled the room and I opened my eyes to watch Jamie pour bath-salts into the rapidly filling tub. Stepping closer to the sink, I looked at myself in the mirror, the bruises in my face had faded to a faint yellow-green, but what took me by surprise were my eyes. They were bright and happy, albeit still a bit red from crying. I couldn't even remember the last time I had looked like this, it certainly had been a long, long time. Over my shoulder, I saw the reflection of my brother walking towards me and coming to stand by my side. Our eyes met in the mirror and he smiled at me so lovingly, that a burst of emotion exploded in my chest and I averted my gaze to look at my hands, that were gripping the edge of the counter. Jamie lifted them off the marble and pulled me over to the tub, turning off the water and starting to undress himself. Following his lead with a slight blush on my cheeks, I let my clothes fall to the ground, watching him step into the steaming water and settling himself against the edge. He spread his arms, waiting for me to join him and I got in, leaning my back against his chest and letting out a deep, satisfied groan. The hot, fragranted water was sloshing around us and my muscles instantly relaxed from the warmth. I let my head fall back against Jamies shoulder and closed my eyes contentedly, feeling his low chuckle reverberating through my body.

“Enjoying yourself?” His voice was just a low grumble and it send shivers down my spine. I hummed happily in response and his arms came around my waist to hold me closer. His fingers drew circles on my stomach, tracing his initials on my lower abdomen almost reverently, before his fingers slipped further down, gently rubbing over my sex. I let out a soft gasp, when he parted my folds and started stroking my clit in small circular motions, his other hand cupping one of my breasts, rolling and tugging at my hardened peak. My hips started gyrating on their own accord, looking for more friction and I let out a breathy moan.

Lifting my right arm out of the water, I reached backwards to put it around his neck, burrowing my fingers in his soft hair. Increasing the pressure on my clit, he rubbed it more urgently and started kissing and nipping at my shoulder, coaxing another moan from me. It didn't take long until my swiftly building orgasm overtook me and I shouted out my brothers name, my hips rocking against his hand and my fingers tugging at his hair, as I rode out the waves of pleasure thundering through me. My bones had turned to jelly and I slumped against his chest, sinking further down in the water. Jamie cradled me back into his arms, his hard cock pressing against my lower back, but he made no move that indicated that he wanted me to reciprocate. We just sat silently in the warm water until I covered my mouth with my hand, letting out a yawn. He wordlessly nudged my side, making me stand up and step out of the tub with him following behind me. I blinked sleepily at him, as he dried us both with a fluffy towel and led us back to the bedroom and straight to the bed. Pulling back the covers, he ushered me inside and tucked me in tightly, leaning down to brush his lips against mine. When he turned to leave, my hand shot out, grabbing his wrist.

“Where are you going?” My words sounded slurred, the warmth of the bath and the effects of my orgasm had lulled me into an almost asleep state.

“I have some work to do, my love. I'll just be next door in my office if you need anything. Get some rest, Ally-Bean.” He smiled fondly at me, extracting his wrist from my grip and tucking my arm back under the covers. I nodded, to tired to argue and closed my eyes, almost instantly falling into a deep slumber.

 

* * *

 

 

When I woke up again, feeling more refreshed than I had in a long time, I was still alone. My bladder was calling to me urgently and swinging myself out of bed I padded into the bathroom to relieve myself. After taking care of business I took a fluffy bathrobe from a hook next to the door and wrapped myself in the soft material. Barefooted I made my way over to the double-winged door that led out into the hallway, tentatively turning the doorknob, expecting it to be locked. To my surprise, it opened silently and I slipped out, closing it behind me with a soft click.

Contemplating my next move, I walked down the hall, coming at a stop in front of the door to, what I presumed, was my brothers office. Knocking on it timidly, I waited for a response and when I got none, I turned the knob only to find the door locked. Furrowing my brows I turned to look down the hallway and decided to go look for Jamie on my own. When I reached the landing above the foyer, I was indecisive which direction I should take but then I heard voices coming from downstairs and decided to check it out. I shivered when my bare feet connected with the cold marble floor but I soldiered on and followed the sound of voices down another corridor that took a left-turn and finally led into a large, brightly-lit kitchen. I stood frozen in the doorway, watching the scene before me.

My brother was leaning against the counter, his back to me, joking with Sebastian, who was rummaging through one of the cabinets that hung from the wall. Seeing the ex-soldier and my brother jesting like this, evoked a confusing mix of feelings and I didn't know what to make of it. Blue eyes connected with mine and Sebastian stilled, nodding in my direction. My brother turned around and his gaze fell on me, still standing rooted to the spot between the hallway and the kitchen.

“Come here, kitten. I promise the big bad tiger won't bite you.” Jamie winked at me and beckoned me closer. I warily made my way over to them, snuggling into my brothers side and casting a speculative glance at the blonde standing across from us. He rolled his eyes at me and let out a huff, which in turn made me flinch.

“Oh for fucks sake... Would you please relax? I'm not going to do anything to you, or did you forget that I never once hurt you intentionally in the last two weeks?”

“Now, now, Tiger, don't be mad at her for being afraid. It's only natural after everything we put her through. Give her some time to adjust, will you?” My brother squeezed my hip reassuringly as he admonished his second in command. I hid my face in the crook of his neck and it suddenly struck me as odd, that I was searching comfort from him, but I pushed the thought aside, not wanting to break the fragile peace with my doubts. Sebastian grumbled something in response and continued raiding the cabinets.

Curious I lifted my head and watched him pull out pots and a large pan, putting them on the stove and then turning to the fridge to take out vegetables, some kind of meat and a bottle of white wine. He got a wine-glass from another cabinet and after uncorking the bottle, he poured a good amount into the glass and held it out to me.

“Here, maybe this will help.” I took the offered glass with a tentative smile, my hand only shaking slightly and gulped down its contents in one go. Of course it tasted delicious and the alcohol went straight to my head, due to the lack of content in my stomach, sending a warm feeling through me and erasing some of the tension I was feeling. I giggled, when he smirked at me and gave me a refill.

“Thanks, Tiger.” My softly spoken words made him stop his dinner preparations and after considering me for a moment, he graciously nodded at me, turning back to the task at hand. I felt myself relax and sipped slowly at my wine, as I watched him skilfully chopping up vegetables, the muscles in his arms and back contracting visibly through his shirt.

“Are you trying to make me jealous by looking at him like that?” Jamie whispered teasingly in my ear and I blushed at being caught staring, shaking my head decisively. He sniggered at my obvious discomfort, but refrained from commenting further. Instead he took my glass, put it on the counter and proceeded to pull me out of the kitchen, without a word to Sebastian.

I followed him silently, as we made our way back up the stairs and into his bedroom. Once inside, he pushed open another set of double-doors, that led into a walk-in closet. One side obviously contained his clothes and shoes, while the other was designated for a vast array of women’s clothing and with a start, I realized that they were meant for me and a smile spread across my face. Noticing my expression, he pushed me inside and ordered me to get dressed in whatever I liked.

To my delight I discovered a range of more sensible underwear than the one in my old room and shed the bathrobe to put on a pair of blue, cotton panties and a matching bra. Perusing through the racks, I settled on a pair of form-fitting, light-blue jeans and a rose-coloured, cashmere sweater that was so soft, it almost melted into my skin. I was about to get out, when Jamie cleared his throat and shot a pointed look at my still bare feet. Wriggling my toes I smiled sheepishly at him, going without footwear for so long, I had totally forgotten to put on shoes. Grabbing a pair of buttery-soft, off-white flats, I slipped them on, the feeling of a barrier between my soles and the floor a bit off-putting after all this time.

Shrugging, I turned back around to my brother, who beckoned me over to an antique-looking vanity I hadn't noticed before. Wordlessly he pressed me down on the chair, took a hairbrush from the table and began to carefully brush out the tangles and knots. It took a good amount of time and patience on his part until my previously tangled hair was falling in soft, dark-brown waves down my back. Satisfied with the result, he led me back downstairs and into the kitchen, depositing me on one of the stools in front of the counter.

“I'm going back in my office until dinner is ready. In the meantime, you can spend some quality-time with one another. Cheerio!” With that he spun around, his footsteps quickly fading away while I sat stiffly on my chair, considering to run after him.

 


	12. Conclusions and New Dynamics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here goes another one, enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed a few sentences at the beginning of this chapter, where Alice is thinking back to her time in her cell. Also I changed a few things at the beginning of the chapter before that, so you might want to go back and reread the first part of chapter 11

 

 

This was so uncomfortable, the atmosphere in the kitchen was awkward and I grabbed my formerly abandoned glass, gulping down the sweet wine, to try and calm my nerves. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and goosebumps broke out all over my body. Avoiding to look at Sebastian, I leaned forward, reaching for the wine-bottle and almost fell off my chair, when the tall blonde pushed it over to me. My eyes met his and I swallowed thickly, breaking eye-contact in favour of pouring myself some more alcohol.

“Maybe you should slow down a bit, kitten.” The amusement was obvious in his voice, but due to my low blood-sugar and the alcohol brewing in my stomach, I felt myself getting angry and snapped at him.

“And maybe you should mind your own god-damn business!” Surprised about my outburst, he looked at me and started laughing loudly.

“Oh, I like you a lot better when you shout at me instead of covering like a scared animal. Suits you more.” He winked and returned to his cooking, as I grumbled angrily under my breath. But my little outburst had relieved some of the tension from the room and as the kitchen filled with delicious smells, I was already at my fourth glass of wine. I had a comfortable buzz going at this point and felt a lot more confident, so I decided to initiate conversation.

“Sooo, Jamie promised me to treat me better, guess that means no more one-on-one sessions with just the two of us.” Turning around, he let his eyes wander suggestively over my body and I squirmed in my seat, feeling hot all of a sudden.

“If you say so”, he shrugged, squinting his eyes at me, “but maybe we can work something else out.” His voice was a deep, rumbling purr, that send shivers down my spine and the look he gave me was filled with animalistic hunger. Collecting myself, I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I really don't think so, _Sebby_.” I put emphasize on the nickname, my own voice sultry and I cringed at myself. What the hell was I doing? It was one thing to make peace with my brother, to try and fix our relationship, but flirting with Sebastian? I had to be more drunk than I realized. The ex-soldier just grinned at me knowingly, as if he had heard my inner monologue and I felt my face heating up. He leaned over the counter separating us, his blue eyes boring into mine and I sipped nervously at my wine.

“You sure about that, kitten? Seems to me, like you most definitely want some of that.” His hands pointed towards his body and he wriggled his eyebrows at me. I choked on the liquid in my mouth, as I burst out laughing. Stuck between coughing and sniggering, I doubled over and rested my forehead on the counter-top. Sebastian chuckled and I felt his hand on my back, patting it roughly to help me dispel the alcohol from my airways. Lifting my head, I looked up at his grinning face and catching my breath sat up straight again.

“You bloody wanker, you did that on purpose!” The harshness of the words were undermined by the stupid grin that was plastered on my face, that just wouldn't go away. If it could always be like this, I wouldn't mind spending time with him, I thought to myself.

Realizing the direction of my mind, I went back to the things my mind had whispered to me, while I had been locked away. It had made me question my own motives and I had thought about, why exactly I wanted to get away from my brother and what my two year long stint in the normal world had brought me.

Yes, sure there were the few friends I had made, but lets be honest, their lives would go on with or without me and in the end I didn't really fit into their world anyway. They didn't need me, nor did they really know me. I only told them about the bad things that happened to _me_ , never about the bad things I had done. Like the fact, that _I_ had supplied my brother with the botulinum he had used on Carl Powers. Sure, I hadn't known at the time, what he would use it for, but if I was being honest, I had my suspicions about it and still I hadn't said no to his request. There had been a part of me, that had enjoyed the news about his death, even if I pretended to be outraged and afraid. It was the same part, that had secretly longed for my brothers touch, way before he actually had laid a finger on me, even if I knew, that it was wrong and sick in the eyes of society. But I wasn't part of the normal population and I hadn't been for a long time, so why not let my dark side take over? It would make my life so much easier, to stop fighting myself, because that's what this was all about, wasn't it? Every time I had gone against my brother, it hadn't been because I was convinced that what he did was wrong, but because moral standards dictated that it was, that I shouldn't feel the things I feel or like the things he made me do.

 

Admitting my own darkness to myself, was harder than I had thought, but I deep down, I knew that I was right. This wasn't about giving in to my brothers demands, this was about being honest with myself and accepting what I truly was. I had struggled for so long, with all the conflicting emotions inside of me, but if one were to boil it down, it all culminated into one glaringly obvious conclusion. I was just as twisted as Jamie and Sebastian and it was high time, that I just accepted that fact and moved on with my life. It didn't make the things they did to me right, but it had partly been my own fault. If I hadn't been so afraid of my own dark potential, none of those things would have happened in the first place.

I wondered, if my brother had known this all along, if that was why he thought I would come back on my own, once I realized that a 'normal' life wasn't what I truly wanted. He should have locked me up years ago. At that thought I snorted to myself, drawing Sebastians attention back to me.

“Something funny, kitten?” He must've seen something in my facial expression, because his brows furrowed in momentary confusion.

“I just had the thought, that Jamie should have locked me up sooner, it would have spared all of us a lot of trouble.” I snorted again, shaking my head. He looked even more confused than before and I couldn't blame him, he obviously had no idea what I was talking about, so I explained it to him.

“You see, my little time-out in the basement, gave me the opportunity to think about some stuff without outside distractions and I realized something: I'm just like you and Jamie and I don’t want to fight it anymore. If I had realized this sooner, things would have been much different, you know?”

The sound of clapping made me turn around and my eyes met the glittering, dark orbs of my brother.

“I couldn't be prouder of you, for finally getting it, Ally-Bean. Took you long enough, but I knew you would get there one day.” He smiled brightly at me, pride shining in his eyes, before he turned to Sebastian.

“Get out the champagne, Tiger, we have to celebrate this properly!”

 

* * *

 

 

We sat in the kitchen, first drinking champagne and, after eating a perfectly cooked dinner, whiskey. After we had finished the first bottle of expensive whiskey, my brother suggested relocating our little celebration into the living-room and so I ended up sandwiched between them on a large leather sofa. Never before had I felt so at ease with myself and the two men beside me and I enjoyed every minute of it. We emptied another bottle and I was already pretty wasted, dreading the hangover that was sure to follow, but at the moment I didn't care. Somehow I had ended up sitting sideways on Sebastians lap, my legs resting on my brothers thighs. One of Sebastians large hands was running up and down my arm and my brother was watching us through half-lidded eyes, his own hands drawing circles on the material of my jeans just above my knee. I giggled, when he tickled the backs of my knees and squirmed on Sebastians lap, who let out a groan.

“You better not do that again, or we might have a problem with this one here.” I pointed my thumb at the blonde, my words sounding slightly slurred. My brother and his second in command exchanged a look I couldn't decipher and suddenly a warm pair of hands had crept under my sweater, stroking the soft skin on my stomach. Confused, I looked at the large, callused hands and then up to their owner, who smiled at me with a glint in his eyes. His touch was sending electricity down to my lady-parts and my foggy brain slowly caught on to the fact, that another pair of hands was busy with opening my pants.

I automatically lifted my hips to help the process of undressing me along and turned away from Sebastian to look at my brother, who was slowly peeling the thick material of my jeans down my legs. He threw them over his shoulder, not caring where they landed and settled himself between my now bare legs. Grinning mischievously, he ran his fingers over the inside of my thighs, brushing lightly against the edges of my panties. I let my head fall back against Sebastians chest, closing my eyes and a low, humming sound escaped my lips. My eyes flew open again, as the ex-soldier tugged my sweater over my head, so I was left only in my underwear. His deft fingers unclasped my bra, pushing the straps down my arms and throwing it over the back of the couch. The large amount of alcohol in my blood made it hard to concentrate and the fact, that my brother was kissing his way up my bare legs, certainly wasn't helping.

“Whatcha doin'?” Was all I could get out, in my messy state. Instead of a verbal response, Jamie let his tongue run over my soaked panties, while Sebastian palmed my breasts, tugging harshly at my nipples and I let out a loud moan, my hips bucking up involuntarily. Jamie and Sebastian chuckled almost in sync and my brother looked up from me, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“What does it look like we're doing, dearest sister?”

I didn't have time to even think about his question, because he pulled down my panties and went to work, licking and sucking at my folds, making me wetter and wetter in the process. My breathing came out in short pants and moans and under my squirming behind, I felt Sebastians hardening cock, which turned me on even more. When my hands automatically wanted to bury themselves in Jamies dark hair, I noticed that the were held in a firm grip behind my back. I looked up into the blue eyes of the blonde sniper and he grinned at me, before his lips came crashing down against mine, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth and running his warm, wet tongue over it. Opening my mouth eagerly, our tongues met just as two of Jamies fingers enters my dripping hole, curling just so against the right spot and he sucked hard on my swollen clit. My whole body surged upwards and I let out a strangled scream, that sounded vaguely like my brothers name, as I immediately plunged over the edge and into an explosive orgasm, that made me see stars behind my closed eyelids. My core was convulsing around Jamies fingers, trying to suck them deeper inside of me and I let out a whine, when he pulled them out with an obscene squelching sound, only to shove them into my mouth. I sucked them clean diligently, the taste of my own juices driving me wild with need.

He pulled his fingers out of my mouth and before I could protest against the loss, I was positioned by two pairs of hands until I was on all fours, my ass in the air and my head facing Sebastians lap. He pulled out his large cock, fisting a hand in my hair to bring me closer and rubbing the moist head of it against my lips. I felt my brother positioning himself behind me, the sound of a zipper my only warning, before he plunged his hot shaft inside of me and my mouth opened in a long, drawn-out moan, which was muffled by Sebastians cock that had slipped into my mouth as soon as I had opened it. With one hand holding my body up, I wound the fingers of the other around the base of his cock and pressed my tongue against the veiny underside of him.

My head inched downwards to swallow him deeper until he hit the back of my throat. His fist tightened in my hair, when I hummed against his bulging flesh, just as Jamie was beginning to pump in and out of me with long, shallow thrusts. The motion made my head bob up and down on Sebastians length and I made good use of my tongue, teeth and hand, while I moaned and whimpered in pleasure. Arching my back, I silently urged my brother to fuck me harder, to which he immediately replied, by pulling out almost all the way, only to plunge back in with so much force, that I nearly choked on Sebastians dick, when I was pushed forward. The sniper let out a groan, as his cock was buried so deep inside my throat, that my nose made contact with his pubic-bone. Jamie settled his hands on my hips, his fingers digging painfully into my soft flesh, sure to leave bruises, as he repeated the process over and over again. I couldn't do much more than take it all, sucking in short breaths around Sebastians member, whenever I could. My brothers hand slid down my hips until his fingers found my clit, rubbing and pressing against it, making me moan louder and louder. I lost all sense of time, my whole body focussed only on the bliss of being filled from two ends at once, my mind completely lost in the sensation.

A second orgasm was replaced by a third and I could barely hold my own bodyweight anymore. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly go on any longer, I felt Sebastian twitch inside my mouth before his hot and salty release shot down my throat, accompanied by his grunt of pleasure. He slumped back against the sofa, his grip on my hair loosening to stroke my head and he hummed appreciatively, while I continued to suck him clean. Suddenly there was another hand gripping my hair, pulling my head back, making me release the softening cock in my mouth with a pop and I howled in delight, as Jamie pumped into me harder and harder. My back was arched painfully as his thrusts grew more and more erratic and I was at the brink of another orgasm, when Sebastians hands came up to pinch both of my nipples harshly. I screamed, as the pleasure-pain raced through my body, right down into my core, making me clench tightly around Jamie. It was all he needed to climax himself and he pressed his hips against my ass, the grip on my hair and hip bringing tears of pain to my eyes, as he emptied himself deep inside of me.

The feeling of his cum shooting against my cervix was all it took to send me over the edge for a fourth time and not being able to hold myself up anymore, I collapsed against Sebastian. Luckily Jamie had let go of my hair, or I would have surely lost a few strands. Leaning my cheek against Sebastians leg, I tried to catch my breath again. He gently ran his fingers through my sweat-drenched hair and I sighed contentedly, savouring this rare moment of tenderness from the usually gruff man. I felt my body being lifted into a strong pair of arms and as I snuggled into a warm chest, I struggled to stay awake. I vaguely registered the two men talking to each other, but the alcohol still in my system and the exhaustion from our strenuous activity settled over me like a thick blanket, making it hard to stay conscious. The rocking motion of being carried did the rest and I fell into a deep slumber.

 

* * *

 

 

My body was sore all over and my head was pounding like a bitch, when I woke the next day. The daylight coming through the windows was hurting my sensitive eyes and I groaned, hiding my head underneath the blanket. Someone chuckled and I felt the bed dip beside me. Peeking over the edge of the blanket, I squinted my eyes at my brothers bemused expression.

“Good morning sunshine! Time to get up, Bastian made breakfast for us.” His voice was way to loud and cheerful for my taste and I pulled the blanket back over my head.

“Go away and let me die in peace, will you.” My words were muffled by the thick fabric and I yelped, as Jamie pulled the blanket off of me, the cool air of the room hitting me unexpectedly, making me shiver. I covered my face with my hands and groaned in annoyance.

“No can do, little sister. What kind of brother would I be, if I would just let you stay in bed all day, when it's such a beautiful day outside?”

“I don't know, Jamie. A nice one maybe?” I quipped back, but I couldn't hide the smile that spread over my face and he just cocked his brow at me, grinning like a maniac. Grabbing my arms, he pulled me out of bed despite my vehement protests and shoved me towards the bathroom.

“Now off you go, sweetheart. I recommend you take a shower, you smell like sex and booze.” He wrinkled his nose at me, making me snort incredulously.

“Yeah well, whos fault is that?” Standing in the doorway to the en-suite, I turned around to look at him accusingly, but he just waved me off.

“I didn't hear you complaining last night, so don't try shifting the blame, my dear. Now go, there is a lot to do today and I don't want to waste anymore time!”

“Yes, Sir!” I mock saluted him and heard his laugh as I closed the bathroom-door behind me. Not even bothering to look in the mirror, I went about releasing my full bladder and taking a much needed shower. I did feel better afterwards, the hot water had alleviated the soreness in my muscles and when I came out of the steamy bathroom, two pills and a glass of water were standing on the bedside-table. Swallowing them with a large gulp of water, I got dressed in a light-grey, oversized sweater and black yoga-pants, forgoing shoes in favour of warm, fluffy socks with non-slip strips at the soles.

Bouncing down the stairs, I made my way into the kitchen, deeply inhaling the smell of coffee and bacon. My stomach grumbled audibly and I eagerly sat down in front of the prepared plate of breakfast goodies, that was placed on the counter, totally ignoring the other two occupants of the room. I had just stuffed three strips of bacon into my mouth, when a cup of steaming coffee was pushed towards me. Nodding my head in thanks, I continued to destroy the contents of my plate, occasionally sipping at the hot beverage. When I was finished, I finally acknowledged Sebastian and my brother, who were watching me with similar expressions of amusement.

“Good morning gentlemen, enjoyed the show?”

“Not as much as the show last night.” Sebastian winked at me and I felt heat rise up my neck and cheeks, which in turn made my brother chuckle into his coffee.

“Yeah, about that... Is this a thing we do now? I mean, don't get me wrong, it was amazing, but I'm a bit confused.” I looked at them over the rim of my mug as I took another sip of the heavenly brew and saw them exchanging another look, similar to the one from yesterday night. Clearing his throat, my brother turned his attention back to me, letting his eyes wander over my body with a sly grin on his face.

“Well, do you want it to be? You seemed to be having a grand time yesterday.”

Cocking my head, I squinted my eyes at him suspiciously, before letting out a huff.

“You two have obviously already discussed this, haven't you?” They exchanged another look and I shook my head, throwing my hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay, I get it. So, are there any rules to this thing? Like, am I allowed to fuck him, even when you're not around?” I pointed my thumb at Sebastian, while remaining eye-contact with my brother, who just shrugged at me.

“If you want to. I'm not going to get angry if you do, if that’s what you mean. Of course I would prefer to be present for it, but its not a prerequisite. You can do whatever you want, at least if its limited to only the two of us, but I think that should be obvious.” Dumbfounded I looked at him, my brain not able to comprehend, what he had just said and I held up a hand.

“Wait a minute, let me get this straight. You have no problem whatsoever with me banging your second in command whenever I feel like it? What happened to 'nobody is allowed to even look at you'?” Doing a terrible imitation of Jamies voice for the last part, I examined his face closely, looking for any signs of deception. Surely he didn't mean it, maybe this was some kind of test?

“Ally-Bean, if you would have listened to me properly, you wouldn't have to ask stupid questions. It's all about other people not being worthy and I think Tiger here, has proven his worth thoroughly enough to have earned the right to touch you, don't you think?” He sounded a bit annoyed at my incredulity and I gave him a sheepish smile.

“Sorry, Jamie, but this” I gestured at the three of us, “is just a lot to take in. Going to take some time to get used to it.” Shrugging, I went back to drinking my coffee, silently observing the two in front of me. Sebastian brought up his hand, like a student in class, asking permission to speak.

“If I may add something to that.” After he received a nod from my brother, he continued, “we would have done this a lot sooner, but you were not in the right place before. So it's only a natural progression of things, you know? And I for one, wouldn't mind one bit, if you decided to pounce on me.” He gave me a sultry smile and winked, making me blush again and my brother laugh as he sat down his cup on the counter.

“Now that that's settled, we can move on to more important things. Seeing as you've finally come to terms with yourself, I want you to join me run the business. I have prepared a few meetings with clients, that I want you to attend with me today. Testing the waters, so to speak and assessing your capabilities. What do you think?”

He looked at me expectantly and I was at a loss for words for a moment. It was a huge deal for him to even suggest something like that, he had never let me meet clients or really involved me in the process behind the scenes, except for the few times, where he had made me watch someone being tortured and/or killed. A surge of pride made my chest swell and tears prickled in my eyes as I jumped up and rounded the counter to wrap my arms around him, sniffling a bit.

“Oh Jamie, I would love to! Thank you, so much! I promise I will not disappoint you!” I squeezed him tightly, before letting go and rubbing the tears from my face. He cupped my cheek and kissed me softly on the lips, smiling against my mouth.

“You're welcome, Ally-Bean. And I'm sure you're going to make me a very proud big brother.” Giving me a slap on the butt, he pushed me gently towards the door.

“You should go change into something more professional, we're leaving in an hour and I can't have you show up in a sweater and yoga-pants on your first day of work.” He gave me another gentle push and I put two fingers to my forehead in a salute, before running back upstairs to get changed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I decided to switch things up a bit, let me know if you think it's too much of a change in narrative. I might modify the other chapters if that should be the case


	13. A New Job and Old Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update, but I was on holiday last week and just didn't have the time. As always, if you have any suggestions or critics, leave a comment. Enjoy!
> 
> Oh, before I forget, I made a few minuscule changes to Chapter 11 and 12 but they're relevant for the story, so you might want to go back. In both cases its just some things at the beginning that I changed, so you don't have to read the whole chapter again.

The first meeting had been mildly disastrous, the client, a Mr. Donahue, had thought me the secretary, which didn't go over well with Jamie. When Mr. Donahue had patted me on the ass and told me to get him something to drink, my brother almost had Sebastian kill him right on the spot. The poor man had no idea what was happening and after a lot of crying and grovelling at my brothers feet, including a very lengthy apology towards me, Jamie had let him go. But I knew my brother well enough to know, that Mr. Donahue wouldn't live to see the next day. He just wanted him to spread the word about his new associate and having him killed afterwards send a very clear message to everyone: don't mess with my sister or you wont live long enough to regret it.

Even if I didn't like the way the man had spoken to me, I felt the familiar pull of learned morals, that urged me to talk my brother out of killing the guy, but I kept my mouth shut. This wasn't only about me, it was about upholding a certain reputation my brother had gained over the years and if he just let anybody disrespect me, and by proxy him, it would make him seem soft and that would be very bad for business. The second meeting of the day had gone over a lot more smoothly and I had impressed our next client with the suggestions I had made to fix his little problem. Jamie had been incredibly proud and told me fondly, that I would soon make a name for myself, if I kept going like this. The day went by pretty fast after that, I attended all appointments my brother had had that day and when we finally returned to the mansion, I was exhausted.

At home, Sebastian prepared a quick dinner, which I ate in complete silence, almost falling asleep at the table until Jamie took pity on me and send me upstairs to turn in for the night. While I was dragging my tired body up to our room, I wondered how my brother managed to do this every day. I hadn't expected it to be so depleting and I didn't even have to make any of the big decisions, I only had made a few suggestions here and there and still I was totally drained and I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. As it turned out, Jamie was so satisfied with the way I had handled myself on our first day of work together, that he insisted on me joining him full-time.

We fell into a new routine, he woke me in the early hours of the morning, we ate breakfast together and then went to his office, sometimes with, sometimes without his trusted sniper, depending on Sebastians own workload. When we went home late at night, I would wolf down dinner and go to sleep afterwards. Some days Jamie would follow me into the bedroom and despite my exhaustion, he would play my body like a fiddle, keeping me on the edge for ages before finally granting me release, either by fucking me senseless or by applying other parts of his body to bring me to completion.

Despite being so tired all the damn time, I felt content with the way things were and days turned into weeks and then into months and before I knew it, I was taking on clients and handling certain aspects of my brothers enterprise on my own. Usually one of his men would accompany me, for protection, Jamie had assured me, when I had reacted sceptically to someone following me around but today I was walking through London’s streets alone. I had shook off my detail, because I had decided to meet someone my brother wouldn't have ever let me see again and so I had to sneak behind his back. He wouldn't be very happy with me, when he found out, but I was fairly certain, that he wouldn't hurt me, I hadn't given him any reason to question my loyalty towards him in the least and that had to count for something, right?

Sitting down in a booth inside a quaint little café, I ordered a large cappuccino and kept my eyes on the doors, waiting for my guest to arrive. He did so in his usual dramatic way and after scrutinizing me from head to toe, he slumped down in the seat opposite from me, not even bothering to greet me, a guarded expression on his face. Smiling tentatively at him, I took a sip from my mug, before I decided to speak first, seeing as he refused to talk.

“Hello, Mr. Holmes. Thank you for agreeing to meet me on such short notice, I'm sure you're a busy man and I appreciate that you took the time...”

“Cut the crap, Alice... Why did you want me to come here? You're obviously taking a risk by meeting with me, even if you seem to have hashed things out with your brother. How is that going for you by the way? I've heard a lot of whispers about the mysterious new woman on Moriartys side, am I right in deducing that it's you? What changed? You were terrified of him when we first met and now you're his partner in crime, willingly it seems. I want to know how you could go from having a panic attack at the mere thought of your brother, to helping him with his work and seemingly being happy about that. Maybe my first impression about you wasn't that wrong after all, Miss Moriarty.”

It hurt, that Sherlock would accuse me of deceiving him, but I had to remind myself, that I had made a choice and that, if he really knew me, he probably wouldn't have come to meet me, so my voice sounded considerably colder, when I answered him.

“Right to the point, as usual Sherlock. And yes, to answer your question, I'm working with my brother now. After the little show he had put on for you and presumably Mycroft as well...” At this, he visible flinched, his face paling a few shades and his hands turning into fists, knuckles white from the pressure. Ignoring his discomfort, I continued, “he locked me away in a cell for two weeks. I was forced to reflect on my own life in lieu of other things I could occupy my mind with and I had a few revelations about myself. There are things, I never told you, or your brother for that matter, and I think I owe you an explanation. I left out a few key details from my story and if you're willing to listen, I want to rectify that, so you have a more complete picture of who I am.” I watched the guarded expression on his face morph into a thoughtful one and he motioned with his large hand, to indicate his willingness for me to continue.

“You see, I didn't necessarily lie, when I told you that I was afraid of my brother. It took me some time to realize, that I wasn't really afraid of him per-Se, but of the things he made me feel. When I hit adolescence, my feelings towards him had turned from innocent sisterly love to something more inappropriate. I was disgusted with myself and did everything in my power to get rid of these thoughts. That's the real reason, why I went to the school-dance with Ben, to convince myself, that it was just some sort of passing phase and that it would go away, if I spend time with other boys beside my brother. As you know, that backfired rather spectacularly and even though he had done more than just sleep with me, it only got worse after that. And because I couldn't admit to myself, that I wanted him the way he wanted me, I fought him on everything, tooth and nail, which only led to more pain and suffering on my part. Jamie isn't really adept at handling his own feelings, something I'm sure you can relate to, and so he did the only thing he thought he needed to do, in order to keep me at his side. I'm not excusing what he did to me but the point is this: I didn't run away, because my life was so horrible. I ran away because I couldn't handle, that I was just like him, the same darkness lurking right beneath the surface and the same chaotic mind, that never shuts up. I thought at the time, that getting away from him and the life I had known, would somehow change me into a normal person and that, if I could bring my brother down, it would all go away. Obviously that is not the case and I have to say, that I have never been so at peace, like I have been the last few months, since I finally admitted these things to myself. And I'm truly sorry, for bursting into your life and causing you all sorts of trouble.”

When I had spoken about my true feelings toward Jamie, I couldn't keep eye-contact with Sherlock, even if I had made peace with it myself, I couldn't expect other people to understand. So instead I had concentrated on the cup in my hands, turning it around and around and watching the light-brown liquid swirl inside its confinement, while I talked. Now that I had finished, I nervously fiddled with my fingers, still keeping my head down and not looking at the curly-haired detective. A foot nudged me under the table, stilling my nervous fumbling and surprised, I looked up to meet Sherlocks gaze. I had expected him to be angry and disgusted with the things I had told him, but I found none of that, when I observed his facial expression. On the contrary, he smiled at me, as if I hadn't just told him, that I was basically the same as his sworn enemy and confusion washed through me.

“Alice, I'm not mad at you, you don't have to apologise. I certainly don't regret meeting you, even if it caused me trouble as you put it. But are you sure, that this is what you want? I have difficulties believing, that you came to these conclusions on your own and maybe it would be best if you could get some space to really think about what you told me. You are always welcome at Baker Street and I'm quite certain John and Mrs. Hudson wouldn't mind if...”

I laid my hand on his, to stop his ramblings and his pupils dilated just the tiniest bit at the contact. Ignoring his reaction, I spoke softly, trying to convey my point.

“Sherlock, he would never let me go, we both know that. Plus, at the moment I don't even want to leave. You might not believe it, but he has changed, he treats me way better than before and for the first time in forever I'm feeling save with him. I'm not going to jeopardize that by running away again. Besides, the last time I left, he let me leave, I don't think that is going to happen again.”

He didn't seem to be deterred by my argument and he turned his hand to grab mine, leaning forward in his chair with determination in his eyes.

“And how long do you think this is going to last? I can't imagine he is going to be thrilled with you meeting me and he already knows about it without a doubt. What do you think is going to happen when you return today?” Pulling my hand from his grasp, I swallowed nervously and didn't meet his eyes.

“It's going to be fine, he is not going to hurt me. I'm just going to explain to him, why I came here and...”

“Alice, listen to yourself! You sound like one of those woman who defend their partner after they have beaten them. Whatever Moriarty has promised you, he's not going to keep it, we both know that. The question isn't _if_ he is going to hurt you, but _when_.”

The legs of my chair skidded loudly over the floor, as I jumped up from my seat and I grabbed my coat, angrily putting it on.

“You have no idea what you're talking about! Whatever you might think, you are wrong! Jamie loves me and he promised that he wouldn't hurt me again!” I stopped short in my rant, my eyes widening, as I realized what I had just said. Sherlock was right, I did sound like an abused woman defending her tormentor. Without another word to the curly-haired detective, I almost ran out of the café.

My thoughts were scattered and doubt made my stomach churn. Was I kidding myself in thinking Jamie could change? The last months had been almost perfect, a little too perfect if I really thought about it. _No, stop it! Don't let him get inside your head, he is only trying to make you doubt yourself in order for him to use you against Jamie!_ Pain started to gather behind my left eye and I sighed deeply, knowing that a migraine was coming. It had been a mistake to meet up with Sherlock, I should have known better. Of course he wouldn't understand, the guy had the emotional capacity of a loaf of bread. But the niggling doubt just wouldn't go away, no matter how hard I tried to shove it away into the recess of my mind.

Frustrated with myself, I almost walked past Sebastian, who was leaning against a black town-car, obviously there to take me back home. When my eyes finally recognized him, I came to a stop and gave him a wan smile, which died on my lips as I took in his expression. A cold shower ran over my body and my stomach churned even more as his lifeless gaze washed over me. Anger was bubbling under his outwardly calm exterior and Sherlocks last words were echoing loudly inside my head. The urge to turn around and run away as fast as I could was overwhelming, but I know, it would just make whatever was coming for me worse. Taking a few steps towards the car, I let my shoulders slump down, accepting my fate. I had known beforehand, that Jamie wouldn't be pleased with me, if I met up with Sherlock, but I had done it anyway and now I had to face the music for my actions.

Sebastian silently opened the door for me and my breath caught in my throat at the sight of my brother already sitting inside. He didn't turn to look at me, instead his eyes were trained forward, but his body language told me, that he was furious. After a not so gentle nudge against my back from the man behind me, I got inside the car, sitting next to Jamies unnaturally still frame. I put on my seatbelt and started fidgeting with the hem of my skirt nervously, shooting glances at my brother from behind my hair. The tense silence that filled the vehicle was interrupted by Sebastian taking his place in the front and starting the car to weave back into traffic. Jamie still hadn't said a word and as we drove through the streets, dread settled into a tight knot inside of me and I desperately wanted to explain myself to him.

I opened my mouth but shut it again, after a growled ' _don't_ ' from my brother. That one word was filled with so much anger, that the hairs at the back of my neck rose up and a shiver of fear ran down my spine. The doubts came back full force and I turned my head to look outside to try and distract myself. My brows furrowed, when I noticed, that we weren't on our way back home and panic began to rise in my chest, my mouth suddenly dry. Where were they taking me? I got my answer twenty minutes later, when we came to a slow stop outside an abandoned warehouse and I felt myself starting to shake as the rising panic changed into bone-deep certainty, that punishment was coming my way.

Sebastian opened my door and I flinched, when he roughly grabbed my arm to yank me out of the car. If it hadn't been for his tight grip on me, I would have surely fallen on my ass, my legs felt like they could barely hold my weight and I was shaking all over. He hauled me across the cracked pavement towards the rusted entry doors and over the rush of blood in my ears, I could make out Jamies footsteps behind us. Sebastian pushed me trough the door and my eyes had trouble adjusting to the darkness inside. The smell of mould assaulted my nose, underlying was a sickly sweet scent that could only be the odour of something once alive rotting somewhere inside the desolated structure and for a moment I was paralysed by the fear, that they had took me here to kill me. Tears made my vision blurry and I blinked furiously to try and stop them from falling down my face. After crossing through the large hall, stepping around debris and piles of garbage, we stopped in front of a metal door, that looked like it hadn't been opened in decades.

Jamie stepped forward, a ring of keys jingling in his hands and unlocked the door, which swung open without a sound, belying it's perfunctory appearance of being disused. He took a step inside and fluorescent tubes flickered to life, bathing the hallway in bright light. Motion sensors, I surmised and I stored that information away, something telling me, I might need it in the future.

Despite the look of the rest of the warehouse, it was clear that someone was maintaining this specific part of it regularly. The walls were painted white, without any signs of the graffiti that had covered almost every inch of the walls outside and the tiled floor looked clean enough to eat off of.

The air was a bit stale, but at least the smell of mould and rot was gone. Fear waged against curiosity as Sebastian pulled me along the short corridor and we stopped in front of another metal door, this one looking almost new with a bunch of locks on the outside. Jamie opened one after the other and I counted six different locks, before the door was finally open. More fluorescent light came on and illuminated the steps leading down into another corridor, this one with several doors on either side.

I was dragged down the stairs and Jamie was already walking down the hallway, opening the third door on the left, waiting for Sebastian to push me inside. Stumbling over my feet, I landed on the floor, letting out a cry of pain at the sharp twist in my ankle. The tears I had been trying so hard to hide were running down my face and as I looked up, I was met with the almost black eyes of my brother, boring into mine. His face was expressionless and fear raced down my body, making me shiver. I knew that look and it promised nothing good. Before I could even open my mouth to try and explain myself, he shut the door, shrouding me in darkness.

The only light source was coming from the small gap underneath the door and I crawled over to bang my fists against the metal and beg Jamie to let me out. I couldn't take being locked up again, not after the last time. My breath was coming in chocked gasps and I felt a panic attack coming, which only made me bang against the door more urgently, sobbing out apologies. I don't know how long it took me to calm myself down somewhat, but my knuckles felt bruised and slightly wet, which meant I had ripped the skin open with my futile knocking and I swept them over my skirt, not caring that I was ruining the silk with my blood.

The sliver of light that came from under the door did nothing to illuminate the room I was in but it gave me some modicum of safety, even if it was superficial at best. Standing up carefully, as to not put to much of my weight on my hurt ankle, I steadied myself on the wall, gliding alongside it to measure at least the size of the dark room. Unlike my previous cell, it was completely empty, no saggy cot or dirty toilet and it was also much smaller. It took me only five steps to get from one end to the other and as I was beginning to fell claustrophobic, my only source of light went out. Rationally I knew, that it didn't make any difference, but the total lack of light made me feel like the walls were closing in on me. Taking deep breaths as to not fall into another panic attack, I huddled into the corner next to the door, hugging myself tightly to keep from banging against the door again. My gut told me, that I would be here for quite some time and that I was going to need my energy if I wanted to get through this.

 

 


	14. Revelations: Part II

 

 

My mind was adrift, thinking about all the possible ways my brother might punish me, but my initial panic had subsided, leaving me numb instead. Sherlocks words were playing inside my head on repeat until I covered my ears with my hands and screamed into the void, just wanting it all to stop. I really couldn’t tell, for how long I sat huddled in that corner, head in my hands, making myself as small as possible against the impenetrable darkness. It could've been hours, days or merely minutes that had passed, when finally, the sliver of light came back. Instead of relief, I felt nothing, not even, when the door slowly opened and more light fell into the room, banishing the suffocating darkness. Slowly I lifted my head, blinking against the sudden brightness. My brother stood in the doorway, the light from behind illuminating his silhouette, shrouding his face in shadows. The numbness I was feeling, was replaced by the bitter feeling of foreboding and I knew, that whatever came next wouldn't be enjoyable. Jamie still hadn't said a word, he just stood there silently, as if he was waiting for something. Taking my chances, I spoke up, my voice hoarse and shaky.

“I'm so sorry, Jamie, I...”

He held up his hand, interrupting my apology, before I could explain myself. Shutting my mouth with a snap, I lowered my head submissively, the feeling of foreboding becoming even stronger, when he motioned for me to stand up. My joints felt stiff and achy and I had to lean against the wall once I was standing, feeling dizzy. He turned around, clearly wanting me to follow him, so I did. There was no point in refusing, it would only make things worse. On shaky legs I shuffled towards the door and as soon as I set a foot outside that horrible dark room, a fist connected with my solar plexus, making me double over in pain. The next attack came so quickly, that I didn't even have time to get my bearings, before a large hand tangled into my hair and my face was smashed against the wall. Pain exploded in my head and for a moment everything went white. I felt something wet dribble down my forehead and into my eyes, colouring my vision red.

A strangled moan slipped out of my mouth, when my face was slammed against the wall once again. I fought against the pain, trying to stay conscious, feeling even more blood trickling down my face. When the hand in my hair suddenly released me, I fell to the floor and all I could do was curl into a ball, whimpering as I clutched my bleeding head in my hands. But there was no reprieve, only more pain as kicks rained down on my back and sides and my whimpers turned to screams, when I felt bones breaking under the force of heavy boots connecting with my body over and over again. Apologies spilled out of my mouth, barely intelligible through my sobbing, but there was no mercy from my attacker. A little part of my brain, that wasn't overwhelmed by the agony coursing through me, acknowledged that it was Sebastian, who was once again tasked with my punishment. Finally he stopped and I was roughly turned around, screaming again, as my weight shifted and pressure was put on the broken parts of my body. I was lying on my back, staring up at the fluorescent light-bulbs hanging from the ceiling, trying to breathe against the pain. My brothers face floated above me, looking down on me with disgust in his face.

“I really thought you had finally accepted your place, Alice. But apparently not even locking you up and brainwashing you has had the desired effect.” It took a moment for my pain-stricken brain to register his words properly and when they did, my brows furrowed in confusion and Jamie gave me a nasty grin.

“What, did you really think all your 'revelations' about yourself came from you? No, dear Alice. There were hidden speakers in your cosy little cell, whispering to you in your sleep and even when you were awake. Marvelous how one can bend another ones mind to their will, isn't it? It seems as though it didn't last, like I hoped it would. I have to say, I'm really tired of trying to get you to submit and I'm starting to wonder, if it's really worth it. I mean, you aren't even my real sister.”

My breathing had grown more and more erratic during his speech and every breath hurt, but after the last revelation, my chest felt like someone had poured cement into my lungs. What the hell was he talking about? I couldn't concentrate enough to puzzle it out myself, the pain and lack of oxygen making my brain sluggish and me unable to think straight. Jamie obviously enjoyed my reaction and started laughing, squatting down next to me to run a hand down my cheek. I tried flinching away, but he grabbed my chin in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

“I'm going to tell you a little story, Ally-Bean, so listen up. There once was a girl, living all alone in a big, old house in a small Irish village. She was beautiful, with eyes the colour of lavender and hair so dark, it seemed black against her pale skin. But even though her appearance was that of an angel, her mind was dark and twisted. The towns-people didn't know that of course, but they grew suspicious, when over the years more and more animals turned up horribly mutilated in the woods surrounding their little village. No-one thought, that the beautiful but mysterious girl in the big, old house could be responsible, until one fateful day a young boy had gone missing. Everyone was looking for the missing child for days, but to no avail. It seemed, like he had just vanished into thin air. Then they found one of his little shoes lying in the woods, right behind the big, old house where the strange girl was living. So they marched right to her front-door, banging against it and calling for her to come out. When they got no answer, the broke into the house and were horrified by what they found. There was blood everywhere, small woodland-creatures turned inside-out were nailed to the walls and the stench of decay was so overwhelming, that some people emptied their stomachs right there on the floor. They searched the house from top to bottom, uncovering even more dead animals in different states of decomposition, all mutilated like the ones that had been found in the woods. Now they knew, where they had come from and they were afraid for the little boy that had gone missing. But the rotting animal carcasses were nothing compared to what they discovered, once they entered the basement. They found the lifeless body of the little boy hanging from a hook in the ceiling. He had been disembowelled to the point, that he was nothing more than an empty shell of flesh, all internal organs gone.

The towns-people were even more horrified, but it quickly turned to anger and they were about to swarm the large basement to look for the monster that had done this, when they heard the scream of an infant. Following the sound to a closed door, they opened it to find yet another nightmarish scene. The beautiful girl sat in a chair, a baby laying screaming on her lap. She had cut her own throat, the blood still streaming down her front and onto the child. Nobody knew, where the little girl had come from, but one look into her lavender-coloured eyes and it was clear, who her mother had been. They didn't know, what to do with the poor baby-girl, but one of the man took pity and decided to take her home to his wife and his two little sons.

Said wife was reluctant at first, after all they already had enough mouths to feed but she finally acquiesced to her husbands wishes and they adopted the girl, giving her the name Alice. They didn't want her to know her horrific origins, so they left the small village and moved to a bigger one, where nobody knew them. But their youngest son found out the secret, when he himself was still small and he decided to play a little game with his adopted sister. He wanted her all to himself, so he made sure, that she had no other friends than him. At night, when everyone was sleeping, he would sneak into her room and whisper into her ear about all the wonderful things they were going to do, when they were all grown up. But despite her heritage, the girl was good through and through and that angered the boy. He wanted her to be more like her real mother, so he tried twisting her mind, bending it to his own will and still the girl was good. So when they were teenagers, he claimed her body, marked her as his and finally he got a glimpse of what he was looking for. But it still wasn't enough and he took her away from everyone and locked her in a golden cage. He punished her, whenever her goodness would fight for the upper hand and conditioned her body to enjoy and crave his touch. He tried everything to form her into the dark, twisted thing her mother had been, but it still wasn't enough. So he let her go, hoping that she would come back once she realized that no one was going to love her like he did.

Instead she befriended other people from the side of the angels and tried to help them bring him down, so he had to intervene and take her back. He remembered, how he would whisper to her when she slept and decided to lock her up and plant thoughts in her head. And it worked, finally she was doing what she was told and even enjoyed it. But she had to go and ruin everything by going behind his back and meeting with his sworn enemy. So he decided, that it was time to cut his losses and get rid of her. And now, here we are. Did you enjoy the story?”

Tears were streaming down my face and he gently wiped them away. “Oh, don't cry little girl. It is all going to be over soon. You would have been my greatest accomplishment, but apparently it wasn't meant to be. And I can't let you live, because you know too much. But rest assured, that I am going to be the one that kills you. After all, that is the least I can do.”

He smiled down at me almost tenderly and my stomach churned, bile rising to my throat. My whole life had been a carefully crafted lie, all the guilt I had been feeling for enjoying my 'brothers' advances, all the times I had tried so hard to please him, to gain his acceptance, were nothing more than a game to him. He had manipulated and tortured me for two decades, in hopes of creating his personal monster and now I was going to die, because it didn't turn out the way he wanted it to. I know I should have been afraid, but a strange calm settled over me. It was all going to be over soon, all the suffering and pain was finally going to stop. But most importantly, James wasn't going to win. Yes, he was going to kill me, but in the end, he didn't get what he wanted and that alone was worth everything I had endured. I smiled despite the pain I was in and then I started laughing. It hurt like hell and I soon started coughing between bursts of laughter, blood spraying from my lips. A punctured lung, my brain helpfully provided. It didn't matter anyway at this point. The two man had been watching my outburst silently until James stood up and reached out to Sebastian, who placed a handgun into his outstretched hand.

“Any last words, Alice?”

I gave him a toothy smile and sniggered, wheezing out my answer.

“You... loose... James... Moriarty...”

His expression darkened and a muscle in his tightly clenched jaw ticked. My response was obviously not, what he had been expecting. Tough luck I guess. Even in my last moments on this godforsaken earth I defied him and I could see, that it pissed him off. Good. I hope, that his failure will haunt him for the rest of his life. Breathing had become more difficult and dark spots were dancing in my vision, so I didn't see him aiming the gun at me. A loud bang followed by hot, white agony emanating from my abdomen alerted me to the fact, that I had just been shot. Blood was pooling under me, touching the tips of James shoes, as he crouched back down.

“You're going to die a slow and painful death, sweet Alice. We could have been great together, but you just had to ruin everything. I'm going to enjoy watching you bleed to death and afterwards I'm going to leave your body on Sherlock's doorstep. It's going to break your friends poor little hearts.”

He hissed at me, reaching out his hand to press down on my gunshot wound. I let out a strangled scream, my body convulsing on the floor. The pain was worse than anything I had ever felt, but the loss of blood soon made me grow limp, numbness spreading throughout my body and blanketing me from the pain. This was it, very soon the lights would go out forever and I would be free. There was banging in the distance and I vaguely heard shouts coming from upstairs, but I was already too far gone to pay it any mind. Even if by some miracle someone was coming for me, it was too late. A familiar face appeared in my rapidly diminishing field of vision and hands were pressing down on my wound, trying to stem the blood-flow. I wanted to tell them, that it was no use, but my body didn't obey me anymore. Someone was talking to me in a pleading voice, but I was too tired to pay any attention as to what they were saying. My breathing had become shallow and I could feel my body shutting down. It was only a matter of minutes now, before I would draw my last breath and I gladly let myself plunge into the darkness that danced on the edges of my vision.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

I was floating weightlessly through silent darkness until a sound reached my ears, steadily growing louder and louder. Ever so slowly, my body seemed to wake up, starting with a tingling in my fingers, that spread up to my arms. The annoying sound grew louder still and I felt my face scrunch up in displeasure. Where the hell was this sound coming from? I always thought death was supposed to be nothing but blackness and silence, but apparently I was wrong about that. New noises started to filter through my brain, the rustle of fabric and two voices conversing in hushed tones. Realisation struck, somehow I wasn't dead! I struggled to open my eyes, but my body had trouble responding to the demands of my brain. When I finally managed to pry them open, a groan left my dry lips. The harsh white light was burning my retinas and I squeezed my eyelids shut again. Someone was taking hold of my hand and instinctively I tried pulling away from the skin on skin contact. Footsteps echoed through the room and the blinding light behind my eyelids dimmed considerably.

“You can open your eyes now, John has dimmed down the light for you.”

The familiar baritone was right next to my ear and in a sudden surge of panic, my eyes flew open again, connecting with the blue-green eyes of Sherlock. He was the one holding my hand, rubbing slow circles in my skin with his thumb. Dark bags were under those beautiful eyes and he looked haggard and tired. I opened my mouth to try and speak, but my throat was dry and I could do little more than croak. John appeared beside Sherlock, holding a water-glass with a straw to my lips and I gulped the liquid down greedily. Clearing my throat after I was finished, I tried speaking again.

“What happened?”

The two men exchanged a look, seemingly trying to decide, who would answer my question. It was Johns turn to clear his throat and he looked at me with sympathy in his eyes.

“Sherlock had his homeless-network keep an eye on you and they told him that Moriarty and Moran had taken you to an abandoned warehouse, but left after a short while without you. So we decided to check it out, but when we got there, Mycroft's men were already there, trying to break down the door. Apparently he had been keeping tabs on you too and he knew that you had met with Sherlock behind Moriarty's back, so he was concerned with your safety. We heard the gunshot as soon as the first door was open, but it took a while to break down the door that led into the basement. It was almost too late for you, when they finally managed it and you were barely conscious at that point. Luckily there was already an ambulance waiting and you were rushed to the hospital and into emergency surgery. You had lost a lot of blood, your intestines were leaking into your abdominal cavity, your left lung was punctured in three places and you had severe swelling in your brain. You almost didn't make it and you flat-lined a few times, before they were able to stabilize you.”

So I had died, if only temporarily. Before I could ask more questions, Sherlock spoke up, his voice sounding strained.

“You have been in a medical induced coma for almost two weeks and about six days ago, they stopped the medication that was keeping you under and removed the breathing tube after you were able to breathe on your own again. We have been waiting for you to wake up ever since. The swelling in your brain has gone down, but they are not sure if there might be any lasting effects.”

I stayed silent after that, mulling everything over in my brain. I had only a hazy recollection of the day I had met with Sherlock, I remembered sitting in a café and talking to him, but everything after that was blurry, snippets of conversations floated through my brain accompanied by the vague memory of pain, but it was too nebulous to discern anything particular.

“I don't really remember what happened... The last thing I can clearly recall is you and me talking in the café, everything else is kind of fuzzy and doesn't make any sense.”

John nodded at my admission, reassuring me, that this was normal. But something was niggling inside my head, there had been something important that I was now missing. I tried grasping it but every time I felt like getting closer, my train of thought would derail again. Frustrated tears filled my eyes and I turned my head away, not wanting them to see. A thought occurred to me and my heart sped up, the beeping from the heart-monitor announcing my distress to the room.

“Where is he? Did you manage to arrest him?”

I didn't have to specify my question, the both knew who I was talking about and they exchanged another look. A whimper escaped me as the meaning of that look dawned on me and I started shaking. James was still out there and there was no way in hell, that he wouldn't try and finish the job. Sherlock squeezed my hand, giving me a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

“Don't worry, Alice, we're not going to let him get to you again. Officially you're dead, so your brother doesn't even now, that he failed in killing you.”

“He is not my brother!” The words left my lips before I could really process, what I had just said. It triggered my memory and as everything came rushing back, I burst out in tears, repeating the same words over and over. John and Sherlock tried to calm me down and I was trashing in my hospital-bed, completely lost in my head. They were forced to call for a nurse, who injected me with a sedative and once again, I fell back into the dark.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When I woke the next time, Sherlock and John were gone and instead Mycroft was sitting in a chair next to my bed, his hands clasped on the handle of his umbrella. He looked almost as bad as Sherlock had and a pang of guilt tied my stomach into knots, tears filling my eyes. Pulling out a monogrammed handkerchief, he offered it to me silently and I took it to dab away my tears. Shifting slightly in his seat, he gave me a tight-lipped smile before speaking.

“As you well know, I'm not a person who does well with sentiment, so I'm only going to say this once. The only people, I deeply care about are my family and I consider you to be a part of that. You are like a sister to me and the thought of loosing you, is more than I can bear. I don't know how you managed to weasel your way into my heart, but fact is, that you did. And I will do anything in my power to keep you safe from now on, even if that means shipping you off to the other end of the world. I'm not going to idly stand by again and watch you dying on the operating-table, once was more than enough. Your maggot of a brother will never again lay a finger on you, for as long as I live.” His voice was firm, but his eyes shimmered suspiciously and my heart lurched in my chest.

“Oh Mycroft, you have no idea what that means to me.” I had to stop, my emotions running high and my throat was closing up, making it hard to continue. Breathing through my tears, I gave him a tentative smile.

“But for the record, he is in fact not my brother. As it turns out, his parents adopted me when I was a baby and the whole story of me being an unexpected pregnancy is a load of bollocks. Apparently I'm the daughter of a deeply disturbed young woman who had lived in the same village as the Moriartys and after she killed a little boy and then herself, they took me in. My whole life has been a lie, but at least now I know, that James Moriarty isn't in any way related to me. I mean, that's something right?” I tried joking about it, but the magnitude of James revelation made my chest tight and I had trouble breathing. There hadn't been time for me to process it all and talking about it now only made it worse. The heart-monitor next to my bed was going nuts, the rapid beeping agitating me even more. I felt more than saw Mycroft standing up and exiting the room to call for a nurse and I didn't react to him coming back and talking to me in a soothing tone. The rushing in my ears drowned out every other sound, as everything came crashing down on me and my body trembled uncontrollably. Strong arms were holding me down as I began to scream and trash around, trying to rip the tubes and cables from my body. There was a small prick in my right arm and my limbs grew heavy. The all too familiar darkness was looming once again, but I fought to keep conscious, somehow thinking that I would be back with James when I woke up the next time. But there was no fighting the drugs running through my system and soon everything went black.

 

 


	15. Old Friends and New Hope

It had been a few days since Mycrofts visit and I was steadily improving, not only physically but mentally as well. I was able to explain what James had relayed to me about my mother, without going into hysterics and Sherlock promised to look into it, to see if there was any truth to the story I had been told. It seemed like it wasn't as easy to get the information as he thought, so he and John left for Ireland to investigate it personally, which left me alone in my not-hospital room. I had found out, that I wasn't really at a hospital, but at a safe-house, where one of the rooms had been converted into a hospital room. According to Sherlock, I was officially dead, they had even arranged a funeral while I had been in a coma and for all intents and purposes, Alice Moriarty did no longer exist. The thought should have been reassuring, but I was pretty certain, that James wouldn't be fooled for long and sooner or later he would come for me again.

I wasn't allowed to leave the premises, but seeing as I wasn't able to walk very far on my own, this was not a problem. I spend my days either in my room sitting by the window, reading or just staring outside, lost in thought for hours on end, or I was slowly shuffling through the house until nurse Edwards would find my exhausted form propped up against a wall and after admonishing me for my recklessness, she would guide me back to my room.

Regina Edwards was a resolute woman in her late forties, with short blonde-gray hair, warm brown eyes and the physical build of a rugby player. Despite her intimidating mass, she was very sweet, but only up until she thought I was straining myself to much, at which point she went into full authoritarian-mode. In a voice that brokered no argument, she would lecture me about how I should give my body more time to heal properly, instead of over exerting myself, which would only delay my recovery. I knew that she was right, but I would get restless form time to time, fed up with my own uselessness and so I would wander the hallways, despite the pain I was still in.

No one had come to visit me since Sherlock and John had left three days prior, so I was surprised, when there was a tentative knock on my door one morning. Nurse Edwards usually just barged in, so I knew it couldn't be her. Shuffling to the door, I opened it only to find a timid brunette on the other side, her eyes going wide, when she saw me in all my bruised glory.

“Molly! What are you doing here?” Instead of a reply, the tiny pathologist burst out into tears and I could barely make out, what she was saying through her heart-wrenching sobs. Taking pity on her, I wound my arm around her shaking shoulders and tried comforting her.

“Hey, it's alright, please don't cry. I'm not angry with you, you know.”

“B-but y-you should b-b-be! If I hadn't drugged you, n-none of this w-would have h-h-happened! H-he almost killed you and i-it is all m-my fault! I'm so so sorry, A-Alice!” Grabbing both her shoulders with my hands, I shook her a little.

“You listen to me Molly Hooper! None of this is your fault. He would have got to me, no matter if you helped him or not. But if it makes you feel any better, I officially forgive you for trying to protect your friends by doing the only thing you could have done in a situation like this.”

She looked at me through tear-filled eyes and I could see that she didn't believe me.

“B-but you are my friend too and I didn't protect you from h-him. S-sherlock was f-furious when he found out and he hasn't even t-talked to me s-since you were taken and rightfully so. I will never forgive myself for letting you down.”

Her voice had grown stronger at the end, the tears finally subsiding and I pulled her in for a hug, reassuring her again, that I harboured no ill feelings towards her. After a while, she had calmed down and pulled away from me, a frown on her face, after she thoroughly inspected me. Gently taking my arm, she led me to one of the chairs by the window.

“You should sit down, Alice, you look a bit pale. Nurse Edwards told me you aren't letting your body rest properly and I can't have you collapsing on me after everything I already did to you.”

I sighed exasperated and rolled my eyes, but I let her push me down into the chair. Only after I was sitting down, did I realise, that I really was exhausted already. Anger bubbled inside me, at my lack of stamina for even the smallest of things. According to Dr. Phillips, who came by every other day, it was normal that my emotions were all over the place after being under for so long, but I still felt silly for getting angry at such things. Which in tandem only made me angrier. I had already broken a few things in my room and around the house during one of my tantrums, so I tried to calm down by asking Molly about her life since I had been gone.

She was still working at St. Barts, but due to Sherlock not speaking to her, it had been a lot more stressful. Apparently John had taken over the role of mediator between the two of them, because even if the curly-haired detective was giving her the silent-treatment, he was forced to work with her when on a case, because she was the most competent pathologist Barts had to offer. I suspected that it had more to do with the fact, that she was the only one who tolerated him enough to work with him, even if she definitely was the most competent in my opinion. But I wisely kept those thoughts to myself.

We had been talking for nearly half an hour, when there was another knock on the door and Mycroft entered the room. Molly seemed to shrink in her seat next to me and my hand automatically reached for hers to give it a reassuring squeeze, as I smiled knowingly at my newest visitor.

“Hello Myc, am I right in assuming, that Miss Hooper badgered you into visiting me? I'm sure it's just a coincidence, that you only let her come here after Sherlock has left the country.”

He flustered at my accusation and levelled me with one of his patented glares.

“Hello to you, too. And for your information, I merely thought it would be nice for you to have another woman around after being subjected to only me, my brother and John keeping you company, especially now, that the other two aren't here to visit you.”

“Sure you did. I can't wait to tell nurse Edwards, that you didn't consider her as company. I'm sure she will be delighted with your assessment.”

I smiled sweetly at him, sniggering when he made a grimace. It seemed like the burly nurse had left a lasting impression on poor Mycroft, going by the fleeting look he shot towards the door, as if said nurse would barrel through the doors to admonish him for his supposed insult.

“Don't worry Myc, I'm not going to say anything. But I do appreciate you bringing Molly here, so thank you for that.”

My smile was honest this time and he returned it with one of his own. Molly seemed a bit bewildered by our exchange and I realized, that she had never seen us together and probably had never seen Mycroft smile at someone with genuine warmth. Giving her hand another squeeze, I turned my attention back to Mycroft.

“How is Greg? Does he know about any of this?”

I waved my hands through the air, encompassing my accommodations, but of course I meant more than just the safe-house. He pretended to pick some invisible lint off of his immaculate suit and wouldn't meet my eyes.

“I didn't think it was necessary for the Detective Inspector to know about your current... situation.”

Anger bubbled up inside of me and despite trying to not blow up at him, I raised my voice.

“You are hopefully not telling me, that poor Greg believes I'm dead, are you?”

Guilt was flashing across his face for a millisecond before his expression settled into a blank mask once again. The anger that had been building inside me suddenly exploded and I jumped up from my chair, ignoring the pain that shot through me at my sudden movement.

“MYCROFT HOLMES! I can't believe you would lie to your boyfriend like that! What do you think is going to happen, when he finds out? And believe me, he will. He isn't nearly as gullible as you believe he is, you know! He going to be heartbroken and after everything he went through with his wife, he is not going to forgive you for lying to him like that! You better tell him everything, or I can promise you, that he will leave you when he eventually finds out and there will be nothing you can do or say to get him back!”

I got right in his face, screaming at him at the top of my lungs, bursting into tears after I finished my tirade. Dizziness made me sway on my feet and Mycroft reached a hand out to steady me, but I staggered backwards, away from him.

“Don't you fucking touch me!”

The room started spinning and I stumbled further away from him, when there was suddenly a small hand on my shoulder, trying to keep me upright. I violently flinched away from the touch and the jerky motion made me collide with the wall to my right. Pressing my back against it, I slid down to the ground, burrowing my face in my hands. My heart was beating rapidly and tears were still streaming down my face. I hated the feeling of losing control over my emotions and it only made me angrier. Bending my body forward, I pulled at my hair and screamed out all my frustration.

It felt like I was falling apart at the seams, the urge to stand up and run away overwhelming me and making me shake. Logically I knew, that I wasn't in any danger, but my brain had difficulties distinguishing between anger and fear and I let out another scream, pulling even harder at my hair. The pain helped me centre myself a bit and I continued tugging at the strands until I had calmed down enough to lift my head and look at the other people in the room. Nurse Edwards had come in at some point and was crouching in front of me, a concerned look on her face. When our eyes met, she reached out a hand tentatively, like I was some kind of scared animal and she was afraid I might attack her.

And that wasn't far from the truth, since I had woke up from my coma, my emotions were all over the place but the worst one was the anger that always came suddenly and escalated almost every time. Dr. Phillips had told me, that it was normal, that it would take some time for my brain to function properly again, but that I had to be patient with myself. He had taught me a few techniques to calm myself down and as I was counting backwards from one hundred I felt myself relaxing again. I released the grip I had on my hair and rubbed both hands across my face. Exhaustion settled over me like a blanket and I let my head fall back against the wall, staring at the ceiling.

Closing my eyes for a moment, I swallowed down the rest of my anger and braced myself against the wall to stand up. Nurse Edwards reached out again and this time I took the offered hand and she pulled me up from the floor, leading me towards the bed. Once I was lying down, my upper body propped up against the pillows, she gave me one of her warm smiles before her face turned dark and she turned towards Mycroft.

“I specifically told you not to agitate Miss Alice in any way, Mr. Holmes. And now look at her! I was hired to take care of her, but I can't do that, when you come here and get her in a state like this. And it's not the first time this has happened! I have a good mind to just throw you out and forbid you from coming here again!”

I was touched by her protectiveness but also worried that Mycroft was going to fire her for speaking to him like that, so I decided to intervene.

“It's quite alright, Mrs. Edwards. No need to throw out the person who writes your checks. We just had a little disagreement and as usual my anger got the best of me. But I'm all better now.”

She turned around to look at me, brows furrowed in confusion.

“He is not the one paying me, my dear. Sherlock offered me this job and I refused to take any money. He helped me off the streets a few years ago and the least I could do to repay his generosity is looking after his girlfriend.”

I felt a blush creeping up my face at her assumption that Sherlock and I were in a romantic relationship.

“Uhmm, I'm not his girlfriend though. We're just friends.”

“Oh, the way he was talking about you, I thought... Never-mind that, the important thing is for you to rest. I will escort your visitors out and then I will bring you a nice cup of tea.”

Her resolute tone made it clear, that she wouldn't budge on her plan, so I just nodded, to tired to argue with her. Mycroft came over to say goodbye, surprising me by giving me an awkward hug and whispering in my ear.

“I'm sorry I upset you this much, my dear. And you are right about Greg. I will talk to him this evening and hopefully he can forgive me. Get some rest now, I will be back in a few days.”

I gave him a kiss on the cheek, before I let go of him, but I had some things to say myself.

“Do that, Myc. I know you were just trying to protect him, but I have told you before, that you should trust him to handle this kind of stuff, if you want to be with him. You can't maintain a relationship built on lies.”

He nodded once in agreement before turning away and walking towards the door. Molly stepped forward, looking flustered and a bit unsure. Reaching out, I took her hand in mine, pulling her closer.

“I'm glad you came by and that we could talk. And I'm sorry you had to witness my breakdown. My damn brain is not yet back to working normally, I'm usually not like that. I hope I didn't frighten you off though, I would really like for you to visit me again.”

She pulled me into a tight hug, bordering on painful and tears shined in her eyes, when she let me go.

“I would really like that too. And you don't have to apologise for anything. Your body is still recovering and it will take time before everything is back to normal. I'm much more interested to know, how you not only managed to make Sherlock fall for you, but somehow accomplished to get Mycroft to genuinely like you. From what I have heard and the few times I have met the man, he doesn't seem to be one for warm fuzzy feelings towards anyone. I want to know everything when I come back next time, so be warned.”

She winked at me and I was pretty sure that my face was scarlet at this point. I opened and closed my mouth a few times but no sound came out. I wasn't sure how to respond to that, so I just shrugged and grinned at her, as she walked backwards towards the door. True to her word, nurse Edwards escorted them out of the building and brought me a cup of my favourite tea afterwards. I expected her to leave the room and was surprised, when she instead brought over one of the chairs from the window to take a seat next to me. She studied me for a moment, before she seemed to come to a decision.

“I know that it is probably none of my business, but I feel somewhat compelled to ask anyway. You said you and Sherlock were just friends, but I must say, I have a hard time believing that. When he came to offer me the job, he was so worried about you, he almost cried. I have never seen him like that, honestly I thought he wasn't capable of that much emotion. That's another reason why I gladly agreed to his proposal, I just had to met the woman who had him wound up that much.

The poor lad stayed with you every day while you were still under and we tried everything to force him to go back home to take some rest for himself, but he simply refused. I had to put sedatives in his tea to get him to sleep for more than a few hours and he was furious with me afterwards. Even Dr. Watson was worried that he would run himself into the ground if he would have continued with this routine. And when you finally woke up, he was so happy, he hugged me! I don't think you know it, but he has called me everyday since he and Dr. Watson left to ask about how you're doing. So maybe you can understand, why I don't think, that he views you as just a friend. And from the few interactions between the two of you that I could witness, I'm pretty certain that your feelings towards him aren't as platonic as you want me make to believe. Isn't that right?”

A knowing smile on her lips, she looked at me expectantly but I was too stunned by the information she had given me. The fact that Sherlock had refused to leave my side and was so obviously concerned with my well-being, made butterflies flutter around in my belly. Gathering my thoughts, I looked directly into her chocolate-brown eyes.

“How much do you know about the circumstances that brought me into your care?”

I had to establish how much she knew, before I was going to say anything on the matter of my feelings. A shadow crossed over her face and her lips thinned, obviously Sherlock had told her at least some things.

“I know that you have been in some sort of abusive relationship with a man who you thought was your brother and that he tried to kill you. Sherlock didn't want to go into specific details, he thought it wasn't his place to tell me about it. And you don't have to tell me anything either, if you don't want to. You don't know me all that well and I totally understand if you don't want to tell your life-story to a stranger. But let me assure you, that anything you do tell me will not leave this room and that I'm not going to judge you, no matter what you tell me.”

Nodding slowly, I looked down and started bunching the sheets in my fists, suddenly anxious to say what I wanted to say.

“OK... You are right, we don't know each other well, but you obviously care about Sherlock very much and in my book, that makes you trustworthy enough.”

I shot her a weak smile, before I returned my gaze to my hands and started telling her about everything that had happened to me and how I came to meet the Holmes' brothers. It took longer than I had anticipated and when I was finished, it was already getting dark outside. Regina, she had told me halfway through my story to call her by her first name, had tears in her eyes, when she stood up to envelope me in a motherly hug. I felt my own eyes getting wet at the gesture and discreetly tried to rub the impending tears away.

“So you see, it is a bit more complicated. I won't deny, that there was an almost instant interest towards Sherlock when I met him but to be honest I never thought anything would come from that. Like you I was under the impression, that something like that just wasn't his forte. And I'm afraid that I'm just to broken inside for anything serious between the two of us, no matter how I feel about him.”

“And how do you feel, if you don't mind me asking?”

Regina cocked her head to the side, her eyes trained on mine. I sunk deeper into the pillows, sighing and gesturing helplessly with my hands.

“I really don't know. I mean what I feel towards him is definitely different than what I feel towards Mycroft or John for example. But I'm in uncharted territory with this and I have honestly no idea where to go from here. I told you how he acted towards me before James took me back but at the time I thought he was just doing it to get a rise out of James. Now I'm not so sure anymore, especially after everything you have told me today. I guess I have to talk to him about it, but I wouldn't even know how to start a conversation like this. What I do know is, that I don't want to loose him. And I'm afraid that he is just acting this way out of some distorted sense of responsibility and not because he has genuine feelings for me and if I would tell him, that I want to be more than his friend, I might scare him away. And I'm not even sure, if I truly want to be more than his friend. This whole thing is way to convoluted.”

My eyes were trained on my hands, still bunching the fabric of my sheet with white-knuckled fists until Reginas hand covered both of mine and I looked up at her. She had a warm smile on her face and patted my hands understandingly.

“You don't have to figure it all out right this minute, my dear. But I am convinced, that Sherlock does have genuine feelings for you and I think in time you will see it for yourself.”

She gave my hands another comforting pat and stood up, reverting back into nurse-mode.

“Now, I think that is enough for one day. I'm going to prepare some dinner for you and then I want you to go to sleep. You had an exhausting day and your body needs as much rest as it can get.”

Straightening her clothes, she carried the chair back to its original place and walked out of the room, shooting me another warm smile, which I returned tiredly. As I listened to her retreating footsteps, our conversation replayed in my mind. Could she be correct in her assessment of Sherlocks feelings towards me? And if she was, then what did it mean for us going forwards?

 


	16. Confirmations and Sentiment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm so very sorry, that it took me so long to update this. In all honesty, I kinda lost steam with this one and I'm not entirely sure, where I want the story to go. So updates might be coming in very, very slowly... again, sorry for that!  
> This chapter is relatively short, because I felt like I had to update this, but like I said, I ran out of steam.
> 
> Update: Hello lovely readers, after taking a hiatus on this project I finally found my muse again and decided to change the ending of this chapter a bit, because in all honesty I felt like I rushed the progression of the story a little too much. I like the new ending better, because in my opinion it makes much more sense this way. This part of the book/story is definitely finished, but the sequel to this is already in the works. I will upload the first few chapters, once I'm satisfied with them. Until then, enjoy reading the edited ending and I hope you like!

The days went by and it had been a little over a week, since John and Sherlock went to Ireland. I hadn't heard from either of them and I was starting to get a bit worried. Surely it couldn't be that hard to find out, what they wanted to know?

Mycroft hadn't come to visit again and neither had Molly, so I was spending most of my time with Regina. Unfortunately she wouldn't give me any information about Sherlock, even if I knew, that he was calling her everyday to check up on my progress. Every time I asked, she would just smile at me and change the subject. It was driving me mad, but I couldn't really fault her. Her loyalties clearly lay with Sherlock and not me and I had to begrudgingly accept, that she wasn't going to tell me anything. I briefly considered taking her phone and calling Sherlock myself, but I quickly dismissed that thought. Even if I succeeded, I didn't want to get on Regina's bad side. I had really come to like her over the last days and going behind her back like that, just didn't sit right with me. So I decided to play the waiting game, even if with every passing day the knot in my stomach got bigger and bigger.

Today Dr. Phillips was supposed to visit and take a look at my injuries. It had been almost a month since my.... Moriarty had tried to kill me and I was healing up nicely. The pain from my gunshot wound had lessened considerably and I my lungs were functioning a lot better too. I was able to walk for more than ten minutes at a time, before I had to take a break. All in all, I felt great. Or as great as the circumstances allowed.

So when I heard footsteps in the hallway, I expected Dr. Phillips to appear at the door, but to my surprise it was John.

“You're back!”

I shot out of my seat by the window and almost tackled him to the ground as I barreled into him and enveloped him in a tight hug. I heard the air rush out of his lung and then he chuckled, his arms coming around my smaller frame to pat me on the back.

“I missed you too, Alice.”

A bit embarrassed over my reaction, I let go of him and smiled brightly.

“Sorry about that. I'm just glad you're back! It was a bit boring without you and Sherlock. By the way, where is our favourite detective?” I peeked over his shoulder into the hallway, but no one was there.

“Sherlock didn't come with me. We came back today and he wanted to talk to Mycroft first.” The disappointment had to be evident on my face, because John shot me a knowing wink, making me blush.

“Don't worry, he will be here. And before you ask, I'm not allowed to tell you anything until he gets here, so you just have to wait.” I groaned in annoyance, eliciting another chuckle from John.

“I have done nothing but wait, since you two left!” I realized that I was pouting like a moody three year old and grimaced. Shooting an apologetic smile at John, I walked over to the window and offered him the other chair to sit and talk, while we waited for Sherlock to arrive.

He asked me about my recovery and told me, that I looked a lot better than the last time he saw me.

“Thanks John, you know what a girl wants to hear.” I replied in mock indignation. He got all flustered and tried to back-paddle, until he noticed me grinning at him.

“You're worse than Sherlock sometime, you know that?” He gave me a playful shove and I snorted.

“Somehow I don't believe that.”

“Speaking of Sherlock, I have to ask you something.” His tone was serious and I immediately sobered up, waiting for him to continue. He looked uncomfortable and wouldn't meet my eyes.

“So, I know it's not any of my business, but...” He trailed off, still not meeting my gaze and I grew impatient. My anger issues hadn't abated and my words sounded harsher than I meant them to.

“Spit it out Watson! Whatever it is, I can handle it. I'm not as fragile as I was before.”

This seemed to snap him out of whatever he had been in, but the next thing, that blurted out of him caught me by surprise.

“I'm pretty sure, Sherlock is in love with you and I just wanted to know, if there is any chance that you might have feelings towards him.” I gaped at him with my mouth open, not sure how to respond to that. My cheeks felt hot and I was sure that my face had to be as red as a beet by now. This was certainly not what I expected and John looked a bit embarrassed, that he just blurted it out like that. Taking my continued silence for denial, he tried to back-paddle.

“Forget I asked, it really is none of my business. And please don't mention anything to Sherlock, he would kill me if he knew I talked to you about this.”

“Talked to me about what?” Sherlock's familiar baritone sounded from the door and both me and John turned to look at him. My face felt like it was going to burn off of my skull but luckily for me, John answered him.

“About what we found out in Ireland of course. I told her that I couldn't tell her anything about it until you got here, but...”

“I wouldn't stop badgering him about it. So it's a good thing you're finally here.” I interjected and John threw me a grateful look. Sherlock seemed not entirely convinced, but he apparently decided to let it go for now. He entered the room fully and his eyes traveled over every inch of my body, as if to reassure himself, that I was indeed getting better. Once he was finished with his perusal, he took a seat on the edge of my bed.

“It wasn't as easy to find the information we were looking for, as you might have guessed by our prolonged absence. But we did find out about your birth-mother and from the looks of it, Moriarty was telling the truth.” He accompanied his words by pulling out a folder from his coat and reaching it towards me. I sat up form my chair and grabbed the offered folder, immediately opening it and scanning its contents.

“We tracked down the village you came from and found out, that your mothers name was Elizabeth Ailis O'Sullivan. Apparently she was admitted into an asylum at the age of thirteen by her family but managed to escape when she was seventeen. Her trail got cold for almost a year after her escape until she took up residence in Cromane, that's the the town she settled in last. She had to have been already pregnant when she got there, because the incident with the little boy that got abducted happened only six month after she moved there. There are police-records about the incident, but there was no mention of any child, she might have left behind. Fortunately for us though, some of the towns-people that were involved still lived in the village and after a bit of persuasion I was able to confirm, that there was indeed an approximately two month old baby-girl found on the premises and that a local family by the name of Moriarty took her in. They left the village shortly after that and it seems, that this baby was indeed you.”

He pointed to a grainy picture of a young dark-haired woman and it was like looking in a mirror. She had the same big, violet eyes, framed by dark, long lashes, the same high cheekbones, the same small nose and full lips. The resemblance was uncanny and there could be no doubt, that this woman was indeed my biological mother. I was stunned into silence, my fingers tracing the contours of the womans face on the old photograph, a thousand thoughts whirling through my head.

“What about the rest of her family? Do I have any relatives?” I looked up at Sherlock, a hopeful glimmer in my eyes, that died the moment I saw the somber expression on his face.

“She grew up with only her mother, her father died when she was still a baby. As is said, she was admitted to a mental institution at age thirteen, because her behaviour grew more and more erratic and aggressive. Her mother died of a stroke when Elizabeth was seventeen, I gather that is why she ran away. There are no other relatives, like Elizabeth, her mother was an only child and her mother, your great-grandmother, had also died relatively young.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked back my tears. A part of me had hoped, that I had some family left, that I wasn't alone in this world, but alas it wasn't meant to be. It bothered me more than I anticipated and I didn't know what to do with those feelings.

“Thank you both, for finding all this out for me. I really appreciate it.” My voice broke and suddenly I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Sobs racked my body and I buried my face in my hands, ashamed of breaking down like this in front of them.

Strong arms lifted me out of my seat and I was pressed against a firm chest, that smelled faintly like tobacco and aftershave. I cried into Sherlock's shirt, my hands gripping the lapels of his coat as if it was a life-line. His large hand drew calming circles on my back and his deep baritone washed over me, mumbling soothing nonsense. Not letting go of me, he lead us to my bed and sat down, pulling me into his lap, because I refused to let go of his coat. After a while, my tears stopped and I tried getting off of him, embarrassed over my outbreak, but his arms tightened around me, keeping me in place. I looked up at him though my wet lashes, but he wasn't looking at me. It seemed like he was deep in thought and it gave me time to examine his face closely. Both Regina and John had asked me, if I had feelings for this extraordinary man and looking at him now, I felt my heart speed up at our close proximity. My eyes fell on his lips and before I could overthink it, I leaned a bit forward and pressed my own lips on his. He immediately stiffened at the contact and I was about to pull away again, when one of his hands cupped the back of my head and he started kissing me back.

Devouring my mouth like a starving man, I corrected myself through the haze that his response put me in. His lips were incredibly soft against mine and a whimper escaped me, when his tongue came out to run along my bottom lip. I eagerly opened my mouth and felt something else stiffen underneath my butt, as our tongues stroked and rubbed against each other. The kiss grew more and more heated and I slipped my hands underneath his coat, to tuck his dress-shirt out of his pants. When my fingertips grazed the smooth skin of his stomach, he let out a growl, intensifying his effort to seemingly eat me alive. We were both breathing hard, as we finally came up for air and he rested his forehead against mine. During our make-out session, his other hand had found it's way under my sweater and he was stroking the skin on my back with his fingers, sending shivers straight down to my core.

“I...” He started to speak, but I put my finger against his lips to silence him. His eyes looked darker and his pupils were blown wide as he looked at me. I let my gaze wander over his face, noting the way he looked at me and how his lips looked red and swollen from our kissing and I had a moment of clarity.

 

“You know, Moriarty asked me once, if I was in love with you and I told him, that given enough time, I could have fallen for you. But that was a lie, because I just realized something. I was already falling in love with you, by the time he took me away again. You're the most interesting, infuriating and big-hearted man I know, Sherlock Holmes and given the chance, I think we could be very good for each other.”

A beaming smile slowly spread across his face, giving him an almost boyish look. His smile fell a bit, when I continued, removing my finger from his lips and instead softly stroking his cheek.

“But, I think I need some time to really process everything that has happened and most importantly I need to get better up here”, I pointed to my head, “before I can even think about taking this any further. I hope you can understand that.”

Silence followed my confession and my heart sunk into my stomach as I took in his blank expression, his eyes not meeting mine. I tried removing myself from his lap, suddenly uncomfortable, but he tightened his grip on me, making me unable to move. His beautiful eyes once again found mine, a slow smile spread across his face.

“Well, I suppose I can understand that. I was always under the impression, that sentiment was a dangerous thing only foolish people would indulge in, but after I met you and got to know you, I realized, that there was indeed something missing in my life. It didn't really register with me, until Moriarty took you again, that I had started falling for you too. When Molly called me to confess what she had done, I...”

His voice had become hoarse and he had to swallow a few times before he was able to continue.

“The fear I experienced was like nothing I had ever felt before. I tried so hard to find you Alice, but every new lead turned into a dead end, even if I managed to disrupt Moriartys “business-deals” a few times. And then came that live-stream and I saw what he had done to you and...”

Tears fell from his eyes, slowly rolling down his cheeks and dripping down onto his shirt. My heart broke, seeing him hurting so much and I felt my own eyes begin to water. I cupped his face in my hands, my thumbs brushing away his tears as he nuzzeld his head into my touch. He took a deep breath, composing himself once more and staring at me intently.

“What I'm trying to say is, I am more than willing to wait until you are ready. Because I know it will be worth it in the end, even if I have to wait for twenty years for it to happen. You have managed to accomplish what no-one ever has before and as much as it scares me, I want to be with you, Alice.”

My heart surged in my chest and I was the one who was crying now, but this time it were tears of happiness. Instead of giving a verbal response I smashed my lips against his once more, relishing in the taste and feel of them against my own. When we had to come back up for a much needed breath, my voice was barely above a whisper and thick with emotion.

“Thank you, Sherlock Holmes, thank you so much.”

“You are more than welcome, Alice O'Sullivan.”

A beaming smile broke out across my face at the use of my mothers last name. I wasn't a Moriarty and I sure as hell was glad about that.

 

 

 

 


End file.
